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My “T Says Goodbye to Entourage” Post

November 14, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Ari and Drama were the show!

I remember watching an episode of ‘The Sopranos’ in late Winter of 2004. All of a sudden this cool, bad ass preview of this show about a group of regular guys living the life in Hollywood came on. I knew this show was going to be awesome. Not only as a screenwriter. Not only as a fan of good television. But as a man. Men needed this show to be awesome. This show was ‘Entourage.’ I told everybody about this show and then in July of 2004, ‘Entourage’ debuted. It was magical. It lit up Sundays nights in a whole different way than ‘The Sopranos’ did. Guys finally had their ‘Sex and the City’ without all the catty, annoying female garbage that guys don’t like. This show was for men and it was everything we liked. Forget about the last few seasons. I have. Seasons 1-4 were the most epic run of the greatest guy show in the history of history and it will be missed.

From Vince’s breakout first movie ‘Head On’ to the artsy & independent and later to go big studio ‘Queens Boulevard’ to the ‘Spider-Man’ record killing ‘Aquaman’ to the epic flop that was ‘Medellin,’ we watched as Vince, E, Drama, Turtle and Ari gave guys everywhere a reason to want to be awesome. They were regular guys living the dream! Living in a world of awesomeness full of money, women, partying, cars, celebrities, playmates, models, athletes, houses, trips and fun. Every guy now had an entourage of their own. Every guy said to their bro “You’re definitely E.” “You’re the jerk of the crew like Ari.” “You’re the useless one like Turtle.” Every Sunday from 2004-2007 I would watch the show with my entourage. They would say “T. That’s us when you finally sell a script. Except we’re from Boston. Which is better.” And when I didn’t make it to my cousin’s house to watch the show, one of us would immediately call the other and say “Did you watch?!” We automatically knew what the other was talking about! “Did you see Drama punch that dude and start the fight with Seth Green in Vegas?! Awesome! That’s us.” My cousin and I would always say that you knew you were going to have a good week if Entourage was a good episode. And you know what? We always did.

Even though ‘Entourage’ technically ran for 8 seasons, it ran out of juice creatively after season 4. I believe that the downfall turn really started to take place when season 3 was split at the end of Summer 06 and then returned in Spring 07. The show was still great during this time but this is where the loyal fun group of guys started to change. This was when the show left off with Vince leaving Ari and hiring Amanda as his agent and then started banging her. The long struggling Johnny Drama finally found success again with ‘Five Towns.’ The boys put all their money into a ‘Medellin’ that was doomed from script. And then season 4 was entirely about the ‘Medellin’ disaster and both E & Ari finding other clients beyond Vince. Hell, even Turtle started to do something! Stupid useless Turtle! After that, in seasons 5-8 the show lost it. The charm and fun were gone. It went serious. It went dark. It went boring. But lets remember ‘Entourage’ for that early greatness it unleashed on the world. Until another show can do what that show did in only 30 minutes every Sunday for 4 straight seasons, it remains the greatest bro show ever. So from all the Boston T Family & Friends Entourage to all of you the real ‘Entourage’, so long and thank you. But please. Don’t make a damn ‘Entourage’ movie.

What do you think? Was ‘Entourage’ the most bro show in history in its prime? Will you miss it? Let me know! Twitter or Facebook the kid.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Filed Under: Boston, Bro Code, Entertainment, Los Angeles, Screenwriting, t-blawg, TV, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
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My “T’s Boston Hall of Fame Class of 2011” Post

November 7, 2011 By Leave a Comment

I'll induct myself one day. No really.

There are a few trademark featured series on t-blawg. There are my “T Does ‘Some City’ in 3 Paragraphs.” People seem to dig my takes on cities. Cool. There are also my signature “Valentine’s Day Sucks” & “Festivus” traditions that really get the crowd going. And of course  the mack daddy, daddy mack t-blawg trademark series “The Bro Code” baby! Well today I would like to add a new series to the always growing, always innovating original entertainment life blueprint known as t-blawg. It is something very close to my ice cold heart…Boston of course. Every year starting with this post I would like to honor some extra special people of Boston right here on t-blawg! These people have done something for Boston. Won something for Boston. Put on for Boston. Are proud of Boston!!! They are friggin’ Boston icons and they should be recognized and treated so. Like myself. So without further ado, I present my “T’s Boston Hall of Fame Class of 2011!”

Awesome Boston Athlete
Terry ‘Tito’ Francona

How the hell do I start off by inducting Tito over legendary Boston athletes like Bird, Orr, Brady or even coach Bill Belichick? Take it easy. Before the epic collapse of the Red Sox last season and all the garbage that has been spewed about the team and their coach, you have to remember one thing. This is the coach who broke ‘The Curse’ people! He coached a team of idiots all season long, from the brink of an 0-3 elimination against the Yankees, then swept the Cardinals 4-0 and won the first Red Sox World Series in 86 damn years! Then won another one 3 years later! He did the impossible. And for that, he goes in as my first athlete in the T Boston Hall. Thank you Tito.

Crazy Ass Underground Boston Celebrity
Tricycle Louie

What the fuck is a ‘Tricycle Louie’ you say?! Ok. Ever walk down Newbury or Boylston street and hear “Eh! Eh! Eh!” grow louder and louder as you walk? Then see a giant tricycle with flags on it flapping in the wind? Being driven by what looks like a blind toothless demon who just escaped from the depths of hell??? Well. That’s Tricycle Louie! He’s a god damn moving Boston landmark people! And a nice guy actually. He’s been riding that giant, rusty tricycle for years. And he’s saying “Move! Move! Move!” by the way because he doesn’t want to run your ass over. But he will. Louie is the first T Boston Hall Underground Celebrity for being that crazy yet awesome.

Ultimate Boston Hottie
Maria Menounos

I have shown my love for Maria many times on t-blawg. We go way back to when we were both non-famous kids working at Dunkin’ Donuts and shared a love for Kelly’s Roast Beef. She has since become more famous than me. But still puts on for Boston every chance she gets. This Greek Goddess is my first T Boston Hall Boston Hottie. End of hottie story. Call me Maria.

Epic Boston Team
The 2010 Boston Bruins

The 2010 Bruins go in before the 2001 Pats, before the ’04 Red Sox Idiots and before the ’08 Celtics because quite simply the Boston Bruins were the last of the losers. The last of the heart breaking Boston teams. They were untouched by the Pink Hatters. Their major fan base was straight loyal white trash. And the Bruins finally reached the pinnacle of Boston sports team awesomeness by winning the Stanley Cup and completing the Boston decade of sports dominance by all four of our teams. By doing that, they earned their first class ticket induction into the T Boston Hall of Fame Class of 2011!

Proud Boston Bro
Ben Affleck

I give Ben a lot of shit. Absolutely. From his old shitty acting. To Gigli. To the time I saw him at game 1 of the ’04 World Series with big ass J-Lo. To his famous ‘Ass Face’ chin. But that’s what bros do. Bust each other’s balls. But let it be known. No other famous person from Boston puts on for Boston more than Ben Motherfuckin’ Affleck! From being Chucky in ‘Good Will’ and co-writing it with Matt. To winning the damn Oscar for it. To directing the shit out of the filmed in Boston ‘Gone Baby, Gone.’ To directing and starring in the filmed in Boston and shooting the fuck out of Fenway Park ‘The Town!’ For bringing the underrated ‘Company Men’ here to Boston for filming. And now going to direct the “James ‘Whitey’ Bulger” movie here in Boston. He is Hollywood East! He is Boston entertainment! And that is why he goes in as my first Boston Bro! I hope he directs one of my scripts one day. A T script directed by Ben Affleck would end the fucking world from too much damn Boston awesomeness!!!

Ass Kicking Boston Movie
The Departed

This goes in over ‘Good Will Hunting’, ‘The Town’, ‘Mystic River’ and ‘Gone Baby, Gone’ because from top to bottom, this movie was stacked with pure fucking awesomeness that extended beyond Boston. This movie punched every other movie in the face when it came out and had all of Boston saying to the world “Say hi to your mother for me.” Boom. In the Hall first it goes.

Most Talked About Boston Weather Event in the History of History
Blizzard of ’78

We get our share of shitty weather. No doubt. But that’s how we roll around here. Most of us don’t complain. We just live with it. But now and then there comes a weather event that just plain fucks shit up. And no other weather event fucked shit up more than the “Blizzard of ‘78” because people still talk about this damn blizzard like it was an end of the world zombie apocalypse or some shit! And for that alone it goes in as the first Hall Boston Weather Event! Now please stop talking about it. No one died.

Most Famous Boston Family
The Kennedys

They are the United State’s version of royalty. No? They are the most famous and have achieved the most success and suffered the most loss and it all was covered every way possible by the news and historians over so many years. And they originated from my old neighborhood of East Boston and have been a Cape Cod staple for years. I can go on and on about JFK, Jackie, Bobby, Teddy, John Jr. etc. but the one Kennedy who stands out for me personally is Joe Kennedy. You see, Joe helped bring assisted home heating programs to Eastie when I was a kid. So he went around to all the schools and met all the mothers. My mother loved that Joe Kennedy for being such a nice, handsome and successful man. In some weird way, I looked at Joe as a normal father figure. So for his impact on my mother and youth, along with the rest of the Kennedys, they go in as the first Boston Family into my Boston Hall. They might be the only family ever. Unless I put in my crazy ass family one day.

In Your Face Boston Neighborhood
Eastie

Over the North End? Back Bay? Southie??? Hell fuckin’ yeah! It’s my old neighborhood. And if you think I have already told all there is to tell about Eastie, you are nuts. Those stories will be told on here or on the big screen one way or the other. Eastie is the real Boston neighborhood. It’s people know why. It goes into the Hall first.

Legendary Boston Legend
Paul Revere

Because Johnny Depp is making a movie about him. And he warned everybody that the British were coming. He is the only reason why you don’t talk with a British accent fool! Respect. So go walk ‘The Freedom Trail’ and pour some out in front of his statue. NOW! In the Boston T Hall of Fame Paul Revere goes.

There it is. My Boston Hall of Fame Class of 2011. Not your typical hall of fame right? But what did you expect? T ain’t typical. So why would my Boston Hall of Fame be? And neither will next year’s class!

What do you think of my class of 2011? Anyone you think should’ve went in before these awesome Boston people? Any recommendations for next year? Let me know! Tweet me!

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Filed Under: Boston, Bro Code, Celebrity, Entertainment, Movies, Screenwriting, Sports, t-blawg, Titletown, TV, Uncategorized, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,
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My “T’s Classic Halloween Moments” Post

October 31, 2011 By 4 Comments

Why are the witches wearing sheets too???

So it’s Halloween. Isn’t that special? Well not to me. Not now anyways. It used to be. Now it’s just an ok holiday in my eyes. It’s for the kids really. Little kids. Teenagers. College students. When Halloween comes to the adults it’s really about weirdos mostly. You read my take on costume people right? And it’s also about people who use Halloween as the reason to be a slut. To be extra drunk. To be a douche. I think these people just don’t have the balls to be who they really want to be the other 364 days a year. But there are some grown ass people who genuinely still just want to have a fun, scary time on Halloween. My T hat is off to you! I commend you. But there was a time in my life where I actively participated in Halloween. And of course, shit went down. T style. My classic Halloween moments. Enjoy!

Dressed Like a Little Girl Against My Will
When I was 3 years old, my mother and sister decided to dress me up as a little girl for Halloween. That’s right. It was the early 80s and little boys had shaggy mop heads that I guess were good for pigtails. I also had and still have long ass chick eyelashes. Even to this day women say they wish they had my eyelashes. I can’t stand it. So my mother and sister put makeup on me and carried me around the neighborhood trick or treating. They laughed and had a great old time. I was, am and will always be pissed about this helpless moment in my life. This is probably why I don’t care for Halloween. They still laugh about it.

Killer Candy
For some reason my mother and every mother growing up had this theory that people in the neighborhood wanted to kill little kids on Halloween. After trick or treating, we would have to throw all of our candy on the kitchen table and look for razors and poison. That’s right. Razors and poison. All of a sudden I was supposed to be a CSI forensics expert at the age of 7 and be able to tell which candy looked like it was going to kill me. How the fuck did I know??? I just kept every type of candy that I liked and put the suspicious candy into another bag. I hid the good bag in my room and placed the “poison” bag in a place where my father would find it hoping he would eat it. Because the son of a bitch always ate my candy. He would eat the “poison” candy but never died. This is how I knew this system was flawed.

Pennies
East Boston was a poor Boston neighborhood. So not everyone could give you candy. Instead, sometimes you got pennies. Yep. You would hold out your bag and some old lady or old guy would throw 3-5 pennies into it. It absolutely sucked. And it didn’t make sense. Back then a 1 pound bag of candy cost like 99 cents. I turned to my mother and said once “Why don’t these people just use all these fucking pennies and buy a bag of candy? They can give 1 piece each to like 25 kids.” My mother hit me in the head and said “Shut up. Stop being stupid.” Ok Ma.

A Charlie Brown Halloween
One year my father was “away” and my aunt and cousins came over to take me out trick or treating. My aunt convinced my mother to come with us. My mother didn’t have a costume. Our landlord’s teenage son gave her an old mask but her head ripped through it when she put it on. So my mother decided to make a ghost costume out of bed sheets. She found an old sheet. It wasn’t white. It was off white with flowers on it. Wait. It gets better. She decided to wing it where her eyes and mouth would be and randomly cut holes. She put it on and the holes didn’t line up to her face because her legs and feet were still showing. So she cut another set of holes. We left the house. My mother wore this not white, flower covered bed sheet with 6 holes in it and her legs and feet showing the entire night trick or treating. Looking more like a mental patient than any damn ghost! It was fucking awesome.

Two Season Halloween
In Boston you get two damn seasons. Winter and Summer. That’s how we roll. So as a kid I either got a hot ass Halloween or a cold as fuck Halloween. Each had their cons. I remember on hot Halloweens walking down the street sweating through my plastic He-Man mask, my plastic Lion-O mask…by the time I got to a house the mask was on my head and I just looked at the people and nodded to let them know I wasn’t in the mood for formalities and to just drop the shit in my bag. The cold ones were worse. My mother would force me to wear a big ass jacket over my costume. I would say “No one can tell that I’m Optimus Prime with this on Ma!” She would say “Do you want to get sick and die?” So I would wear my damn coat. Some mothers didn’t make their kids wear coats. Those smug bastards would laugh at my coat trick or treating but sure enough, they always got sick the next day at school. And couldn’t enjoy their tasty candy. Haha. Revenge fuckers! Thanks Ma.

The Awkward Yet Awesome Cusp Year
The cusp year is the year that you are officially too old to go trick or treating and still too young to go out with your friends and cause illegal damage in East Boston. It varies on the kid and his parents. My cusp year was 13. So I went to my cousin’s school Halloween dance. Our mothers allowed us to dress how we wanted that year. So we dressed in all black and painted our faces like the Ultimate Warrior/Sting/Demolition/Road Warriors! It was a mix of wrestling awesomeness! At this school dance I just played it cool. None of my cousin’s do good catholic school friends knew me at the time. So I was just hanging out by myself. Drinking some Slimer Ectoplasm Hi-C. Scoping the scene. Then some chick came up to me and said “Your John’s cousin right?” I said nothing. “Do you want to come dance with us?”  I looked at her with my poker face and literally answered with a “Running Man” and a “Roger Rabbit” as Ice Ice Baby played. Silly Catholic school girls never seen dance moves like that before in their lives!!! My cousin ran up to me and said “That was awesome.” I said “I know.” And then we were the stars of that little catholic school dance. And that girl was my girlfriend for like the next four days. Word to your mother.

Eggin’
After the cusp year, you go eggin’. Now that was an old Eastie tradition. All of my older cousins did it. My sister and her friends did it. My cousin’s uncles and their friends did it. From the ages of 14-18, your ass went eggin’. You put on old clothes. Sometimes with a garbage bag over them for protection. A hoodie. A painted face. And armed yourself with as many dozens of eggs and cans of shaving cream you could carry and go to war every Halloween! It was a right of passage. You threw eggs at everyone. At everything. Your friends. Your family. Your enemies. Girls you liked. Cars. Houses. Whatever. Shit was on! Sometimes it was fun. Sometimes it was violent. Sometimes you came home clean. Sometimes you came home in stitches. That’s eggin’ baby. I thought it was a global thing. Turns out not a lot of people knew what the hell I was talking about once I got to college. They thought I was crazy. And I thought they missed out on some fucking Halloween awesomeness!

Saved By The Bell: The College Years
The Halloween college years were mostly house parties. One year in particular stands out. My buddy, my cousin and I decided to go to the college party of this hottie I liked from one of my classes. Last minute of course. So we grabbed 3 painters outfits from Home Depot. Went into town. Grabbed 3 40s each (40 oz. beers for y’all that don’t know) and went to the party. All night people wondered what the 3 of us were. The Beastie Boys Intergalactic had just come out so we would tell chicks we were them. We would say painters. Abortion clinic doctors. The Clockwork Orange guys. Whatever. We were drunk and on a roll. Until the chick’s boyfriend showed up. My cousin turns to me and says “T. You wanna fuck shit up?” I said “Yep.” Next thing I know we’re smashing 40s and starting fires and fights. We left the party and ruined like 3 more parties that Halloween night only to each wake up at 3 separate locations all over Boston and we found our buddy with a pierced tongue. That was Halloween in college for me in a nutshell.

Hip Hop Cow
After college, there were a few times I passed on the clubs and went to house parties. One year that stands out was the year that I was still Angry T and put on a cow costume and sunglasses and went as Hip Hop Cow. But after a few drinks and jello shots, I was Drunken Asshole Cow. Long story short, I went around to every hot chick and stuck out my utter and said “Want to pull my utter honey?” I offended everyone there the drunker I got. After I passed out, we all woke up and packed up the cars to head back to Boston. Everyone was pissed at me but luckily my cousin’s future bro-in-law took a seizure dressed as Cesar. Well, he wore a toga. But it sounds cooler when I tell the story that way. Shit rhymes. He kept on falling down. We thought he was either still drunk or just stupid. But then he went into full seizure mode in front of Starbucks. We stuck a wallet in his mouth and an ambulance took him to the hospital. He was ok. But he definitely took one for the team because his little epileptic fit took the heat off my party ruining ass. Nice bro. Nice.

Costume Walk of Shame Day
My last real Halloween moment came in Halloween 2004. The Red Sox had just won the World Series and Boston was still on a partying high! I went into town and my two buddies and I threw together some costumes as we drank. Hard. My buddy went as a wind swept dude. Yeah. I still don’t get it either. My other buddy went as a then popular David Ortiz. And I got to draw a David Ortiz styled beard on his face with a permanent marker! I was hammered and drew that shit so bad. That beard stayed on his face for like a week! It was awesome. And I went as a white Flava Flav of course. Hey. Fight the power. We went from club to club and got separated by midnight. Did I mention that we were so hammered before we even left the house? We shouldn’t have been allowed into any club but we knew people. I ended up at some chick’s apartment. The next morning I snuck out in full costume. I walked the streets of Boston looking for my car. This hungover white Flava Flav walked by a lot of other people still in costume as well. This was no other regular walk of shame though. Oh no. This was November 1st baby. This was “Costume Walk of Shame Day!!!” My Halloween run ended in the most proper fashion possible in my eyes.

So those were my classic Halloween moments. Now remember this as you go out and get drunk and bang. Also remember this if you run out of poison candy and decide to give out pennies tonight. Because your ass might get egged. But may you wake up tomorrow in your costume in an unfamiliar place, holding your head high but still feeling ashamed as you walk that walk of shame dressed like a costumed idiot baby. Happy Halloween!

What do you think of Halloween? Have any classic moments or do you just ride the couch and turn the lights off to shun away annoying trick or treaters??? Tell me! Comment on t-blawg, hit up the Facebook page or Tweet me direct on Twitter.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Filed Under: Alcohol, Awesomeness, Boston, Crazy, Entertainment, Halloween, Holiday, Party, Sex, t-blawg, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,
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My “I Hate t-blawg Thieves” Post

October 24, 2011 By 2 Comments

Remember. In the end all thieves end up dead. Brah.

t-blawg.com has been around for almost two years. It started off as a blog for friends of mine who wanted to see more from me than facebook updates and less from me than my scripts. Boom. I did just that. Since then it has taken on a life of its own and I have come up with a master plan for t-blawg that will make it more than a blog thanks to all the cool people who read it and thanks to my crazy, ambitious mind! Thank you everyone for reading and keep reading and keep sharing. With that said, in the less than 2 years since t-blawg has been around it has been ripped off by so many piece of shit hack bloggers (big & small), tweeters (well known & hardly known), writers (if you could call them that) and sites like you wouldn’t believe! And I’ve let it go. Until now.

I am a one man show! I have a full time job. I also write a lot of material beyond this site. I don’t have the time or resources to put out daily content. I don’t reach millions of people. I don’t have links and ads generating revenue. I’m one dude doing something that I enjoy and it entertains tens of thousands a month from a weekly post and some tweets! That’s it. And let’s get something straight you plagiarizing fucks. You’re not me. You’re not T. I write about my life. Who I used to be. Who I am now. And who I am trying to be. In between all of that, I try to entertain by sharing my opinions like only I can. With some in your face, funny ass realness. It works because it’s me. But it doesn’t work for you because it’s not from you. It’s from me. Who am I talking to? I’m not naming names to help them out. But I will put them on blast juuuust enough.

It doesn’t work for that shitty Boston “Men’s” magazine/blog who rehashes shit article after shit article. Full of typo plagued, weak ass, poor Howard Stern slash wanna-be soft porn garbage. You’re a diddler who puts underage delusional waitresses pretending to be models on your cover and on your site. BTW. I hooked up with a lot of them back in the day. You never did. Or could. You’re no Hugh Hefner bro. You’re not even Larry Flynt. Your magazine and website is only for dudes in company sales pits who can’t let go of their frat days 10-15 years later. Fuck you and your shit. Stay away from my articles, my tweets and my followers. You’re a hack. And Tom Brady is going to fuck you up. Stick to reposting YouTube videos that everyone has already seen by the time it gets to your site.

That so-called Boston news website owned by a corrupted Boston newspaper. You allow “writers” to post articles on your site and readers are supposed to be able to comment on those articles to show that you are the “people’s newspaper.” Oh wait. Because the people actually only get to post comments on articles that get “approved.” Deemed worthy by your crack staff. Freedom of speech? Freedom of the press? My ass. Don’t rip off my shit and try to pass it off like one of your writer’s travels. That was weak. He never went to Disney and did what I did. Fuck him. Mulan wouldn’t even look at him!

My major beef however is with that piece of shit poor man’s Maxim “Guy’s” website which has blatantly ripped off a number of my posts by at least 4 of it’s pathetic hack bloggers. Not only do these articles have my content but they have my titles, my style, my list format and patented 3 act/paragraph format. And I went at the editor in chief personally and the piece of shit denied it and then blocked me on Twitter and never responded to my emails. Your site is pathetic like you. You have t-blawg envy. I bet you use my words on your girl at night trying to act like you are your own self-made man. By doing this it clearly shows your lack of talent, ambition, confidence and originality. She’s definitely banging all your boys.

What t-blawg posts have been ripped off you ask??? Well. Let me tell you.

How about my entire “Bro Code” Series?! The original rules post. The dress code post. The strip club post. The bachelor party post. And most likely, the food post along with every other future “Bro Code” post I will write!

My “I Don’t Like People in Costumes” Post

My “T’s Manscaping Rules” Post

My “Office Holiday Party Protocol” Post

My “Don’t Be That Guy” Post

My “Don’t Be That Chick” Post

I think it’s fucking pathetic. If you can’t come up with an original thought or can’t write anything entertaining then don’t rob t-blawg and try to pretend you wrote it. I know you’re reading this right now. I know who you are. Get off my dick. I’m not naming you to give you free publicity. I’ve approached each of you directly in private. You all suck at life and suffer from T envy. I see your blogs, your sites, your magazine articles, your facebooks, your tweets and your IP addresses repeatedly on my posts that you rip off. Hell. Even the hot women of Boston and Twitter that I tweet and flirt with have been approached by my imitators begging to be tweeted and followed. Just ask Maria Menounos, Erin Hawksworth, Eliza Dushku and Playboy itself to name a few!

There is a side to me beyond the writing. Beyond the funny. And I will shit on your sites/blogs. And I will shit on each of you. I will approach each of you in person out and about when I see you in Boston, NY, LA and Chicago. I will approach you like a man. And if it still goes on, I am not above going to your offices where you create garbage and rob geniuses such as myself like a maniacal demon looking for revenge! And I will get it. One way or another. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But it’ll happen. I know you’ve been reading t-blawg for awhile now so you know I’m capable of some fucked up shit. Stop it now. Or I will take it there. Consider this a warning shot. Next time I shoot to kill.

If you have seen anything that sounds like it came from me, please let me know. Here, Facebook or Twitter.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Filed Under: Awesomeness, Boston, Bro Code, Edgy, Entertainment, Life, t-blawg, Uncategorized, Writing Tagged With: , , , , , ,
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My “The 1st Ten: T’s Action Flick” Post

September 19, 2011 By 2 Comments

Mafia, violence, sex and death. What else do you need?

In case you didn’t know, I’m not just an honest, funny, original blogger. I’m also a screenwriter. And some of you have asked to read some of my scripts. Ok. Some of my work is being shopped around but I would like to share some material right here on t-blawg. Copyrighted material! So you steal it, I sue! In Hollywood if you can get somebody to read through the first ten pages, then you may have a decent script. It’s the introduction. So I am presenting a new feature here on t-blawg. It’s called “The 1st Ten”.

This script is an action movie. R rated. Think “Seven” meets “The Crow.”

How does a betrayed hit man redeem his soul while trying to bring a balance between Heaven and Hell during his time in purgatory?

I present “T’s Action Flick”:

*Don’t mind the formatting here!

FADE IN:

INT. ST. PETER’S CHURCH — NIGHT

The fallen angel, REDEMPTION, is explaining the history of God and Satan; angels and demons; Heaven and Hell.  We do not see Redemption.

Images of drawings and colors are blurred across the screen.

Drawings and paintings of Jesus on the cross and Satan in Hell are shown in and out of focus.  Along with images of beautiful angels and disgusting demons.

Blurred images of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are shown as well.  Images of Death, War, Pestilence and Famine.

Candles are lit around the church altar.

REDEMPTION (V.O.)
Many believe that Satan was an angel cast from Heaven. An angel that was once the closest angel to God.  An angel that sinned. Some say he became a fallen angel.
(beat)
Once an angel falls into the depths of hell, the angel becomes a demon.  Sentenced to an afterlife of eternal pain. Eternal suffering. Paying for those sins forever.
(beat)
The angels and demons; they are also the soldiers of Heaven and Hell.  Soldiers for God and Satan.  Soldiers readying for the Apocalypse.  Armageddon.  The end of time.
(beat)
But there are angels and demons that have escaped Hell.  Left Heaven.  They are among mankind.
(beat)
What happens to man when he sins?  He is judged at his time of death.  His time in purgatory is when it is decided where he will go in the afterlife.
(beat)
An angel in Heaven or a demon in Hell.
(beat)
But sometimes that is a difficult judgement to make.

EXT. BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS — DAY

We see a shot of the beautiful city’s skyline.

SUPERIMPOSE: THIRTEEN YEARS AGO

INT. DON CICCONE’S HOUSE — DAY

DON MULININO CICCONE, an old and physically weak man, is talking to FRANCO “FRANKIE GUNS” MOCELLI, forty something, a tall, handsome man, as a jealous VINCENT “VISCERA” CICCONE, forty something as well, an evil and heartless man and knows it, stops at the doorway to listen unnoticed to his father and Franco.

DON CICCONE
You’re one of the main reasons why the pact has been kept for the past seven years since the last war between the families Franco.

FRANCO
Yeah, a hit man keeping the peace.

DON CICCONE
Something different I know, but this is how it’s supposed to be.  For the children and for us.  In the after life.

FRANCO
Where I end up isn’t important.  It’s about Dante and Italya.  That’s what matters.

DON CICCONE
Same for the LoPello children as well.

Viscera walks in.

VISCERA
I think the LoPellos have a different plan Dad.

Viscera hugs his father and kisses his cheek.

DON CICCONE
What are you talking about?

VISCERA
The word I got is that DON LOPELLO is planning a hit.
(beat)
On us.

FRANCO
This info come from your guys?

Viscera walks over to Franco.

VISCERA
My horsemen are reliable soldiers Frankie. Their word is the truth old buddy.

FRANCO
(leaning into Viscera)
Like yours?

VISCERA
(smiling)
Exactly!

DON CICCONE
Alright.  Enough.  Don LoPello knows that the families can co-exist. We can’t work together or kill each other in our homes or at the church.  It’s not the way.

VISCERA
The pact is old and ridiculous!  We need to hit them first!  Take those motherfuckers out once and for all and end all this shit!

DON CICCONE
(angry)
Shut your mouth!  This is the way it’s got to be and you know that!

VISCERA
This shit with the church and the angels and demons, hell and heaven, life and death, honor and fucking pacts! It’s the old way! We’re men!  We’re humans! We eat.  We drink. We fuck! We kill! We sin!  We take what we want!

Don Ciccone and Franco look at him.

VISCERA (CONT’D)
(angry)
It’s time for war!
(beat)
If I was Don-

FRANCO
(interrupting)
But you’re not Vis.  You’re not.

Viscera looks at Franco and smiles.

DON CICCONE
We are not going to war.  But this is something we have to be sure about.  Franco, at ALESSANDRA’s birthday at the LoPello house, find out.  Get answers.  Members from both families will be there for the celebration of Don LoPello’s daughter’s birthday.

FRANCO
DANTE will be there too.  I’m not killing anybody in the LoPello house with my son around.

DON CICCONE
There will be no death in the house, not where any of the children are, you know that.

VISCERA
Again with the old ways!  You think they will honor that when they are planning to hit us?

DON CICCONE
Some people still have honor!

Viscera gives him a dirty look and starts to storm off.

VISCERA
(walking out)
And some are still blind fools living in another time!

DON CICCONE
Start with Arno.  See what he knows.

FRANCO
Why him?

DON CICCONE
This fool isn’t as blind as some may think he is.

Franco nods agreeing to do what he has been asked by his Don.

EXT. DON LOPELLO’S HOUSE — DAY

It’s ALESSANDRA LOPELLO’s, 13, birthday.  There are balloons, lots of children and adults all sitting at tables in the large yard of this enormous house.  Men dressed in expensive suits are sitting together talking to each other.  It is obvious that these men are from the two opposing families.

DON LOPELLO, 43, and his men are sitting at their own tables while Don Ciccone and his men are sitting at another.

Viscera is sitting at a table with four men.  His Four Horsemen.  BOBBY DELUCA, a handsome man in a pale suit sits next to Viscera; this is Death.  Next to him, wearing a red suit is MAD MIKEY SALERNO; this is War.  He is skinny with red hair.  Next to him is SAL AINELLO; this is Pestilence wearing a white suit.  He is rugged and tough.  Sitting next to him is LORENZO CICCONE, a very heavy man dressed in a black suit; this is Famine.

BOBBY
I can’t stand being at this house with them.

VISCERA
Don’t worry Bobby.  Things are about to change.

Viscera gives him an evil smile as he places his hand on his arm. Death returns the smile.

INT. PLAYROOM DON LOPELLO’S HOUSE — DAY

DANTE MOCELLI, 13, GREG HARMON, 13, and Alessandra LoPello are playing.

GREG
So now that you’re a teenager Sandy, you think your dad will let you have a boyfriend?  Like maybe Dante?

DANTE
Shut up Greg.

Alessandra smiles.

ALESSANDRA
Maybe.  But my boyfriend would have to be cute and a really good kisser.

DANTE
How would you know who’s a good kisser?

ALESSANDRA
Only one way to find out.

She kisses Dante quickly. Dante turns red.

GREG
Oh man!  Look at how red you are!  I’ve never seen an Italian turn that red! You look all sunburned guy!

Greg hits Dante in the arm.

Embarrassed, Dante runs off.

Alessandra hits Greg. He shrugs.

INT. LIBRARY DON LOPELLO’S HOUSE — DAY

Franco is holding ARNO LOPELLO against the wall.

ARNO
(scared)
I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about Frankie!

FRANCO
Don’t lie to me Arno.  If you were with any other family I would’ve killed you by now.  Tell me what I need to know. Is Don LoPello planning a hit on our family?

ARNO
No Frankie!  You know we can’t do that!

FRANCO
Then what’s going on?

ARNO
It was Vis and me.  We-

FRANCO
(angry)
What?!  You two what?!

Dante is running down the hall and hears the commotion.

He hears his father’s voice.  He stops in front of the library door and listens.

ARNO
We’ve been working together, bringing in China White and putting it on the streets through his horsemen.

FRANCO
(upset)
You two have been putting heroin on the street together?  What the fuck are you two doing?  YOU KNOW THE RULES WE LIVE BY! Both Dons would have you two killed!

ARNO
(terrified)
You can’t say anything to them!  Or to Viscera Frankie!

FRANCO
You both have to answer for this.  The consequences are worse than death Arno.

ARNO
No!

Arno goes for one of Franco’s two holstered guns.  Both have silencers.

Dante hears the struggle and opens the door to see his father and Arno fighting over the gun.  Franco pulls the gun down and it goes off into Arno.  He drops.

Franco turns and sees that his son just witnessed the event.

FRANCO
Dante!

Greg is walking down the hallway looking for Dante.

He walks up to the doorway.

GREG
Dante, where are you guy?

Dante looks at his father and rushes out of the room to stop Greg from seeing what happened.

GREG (CONT’D)
There you are.  Are you ok?

DANTE
(stunned)
Yeah.  Yeah.
(beat)
Where’s Alessandra?

GREG
She went outside looking for you guy.

DANTE
Let’s go find her.

Dante drags Greg away.

Franco looks out and sees what Dante did.

INT. DON CICCONE’S LIVING ROOM — LATER

Franco and Viscera are alone face to face.

FRANCO
(angry)
I need to talk to your father now!

VISCERA
I told you, he’s sleeping.  He’s an old, sick man Frankie!  Talk to me. What happened exactly?

FRANCO
I’ll tell your father.

VISCERA
Tell me.

FRANCO
Arno LoPello is dead.  I shot him and brought his body to the church where we’re all supposed to go.

VISCERA
(happy)
You killed him?  In the LoPello house?

Franco stares at him.

VISCERA (CONT’D)
Good for you!  You’re a hit man!  You earned your paycheck Frankie!

He puts his hand on his shoulder.  Franco pulls his arm off him and grabs him.

FRANCO
You motherfucker!  I know what the two of you were doing!

VISCERA
Fuck what that piece of shit told you! He was trying to save his ass!

Viscera’s Four Horsemen walk in.

VISCERA (CONT’D)
(smiling)
Now get your fucking hands off me Frankie.

Franco looks at the Horsemen.

FRANCO
I’m not afraid of you or them.

VISCERA
You should be.

Franco lets him go.

FRANCO
My son saw what I did today.  I’m going home to talk to him.  I want out of this.

VISCERA
You know there’s no way out.  We’re all in it for life and even the after life right?

He looks at his horsemen and they all laugh.

VISCERA (CONT’D)
Go home to your family Frankie.  Clear that head of yours.  Then we can talk about what we’re going to tell Dad. Cause you’re like a son to him.  Shit, I think you are more of a son to him than I am sometimes!

FRANCO
When I come back, the Don will hear it all Vis.  Every detail.

Franco turns around to leave.  Bobby and Mikey block his path.

FRANCO (CONT’D)
Get the fuck out of my way.

Bobby looks at Viscera.  Viscera gives him a nod to let Franco pass.

Death turns to let him pass.

VISCERA
(as Franco leaves)
Remember Frankie!  We’re all family here!

Bobby walks up to Viscera.

BOBBY
Will the war start now?

VISCERA
We’ll have to make sure it does.

BOBBY
What do you mean?

VISCERA
Arno’s death isn’t enough.

The horsemen all look at Viscera.

VISCERA (CONT’D)
Frankie Guns must die.
(beat)
Kill him and his entire family.
(beat)
No sign that it was us.  Make it look like it was the LoPellos.

Bobby smiles. He puts on his sunglasses and leads the Horsemen away.

Viscera lights a cigar.

So there it is. I shared the 1st ten pages of my action movie with a sci-fi twist. Lots of shit goes down in this movie! Let’s of murder and mayhem with some thinking man’s content. A real stylized movie. Hope you liked what you’ve read so far!

Would you read more??? Would you go see this movie?! Let me know on here, Facebook, BuzzFeed or Twitter!

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Filed Under: Boston, Edgy, Entertainment, Interesting, Movies, Screenwriting, t-blawg, TV, Uncategorized, Writing Tagged With: , , , , , ,
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My “Most Awesome #Twitter Chicks” Post

September 12, 2011 By 2 Comments

No chicks were harmed in the writing of this blog post

There are tons of #hot chicks on Twitter. Tons of #funny chicks. Tons of #awesome chicks. Tons! Some I follow. Some follow me. Some read #t-blawg. Some do not. Some are from #Boston. Some are not. Some are #sports fans. Some have tons of twitter groupies. Some don’t even care. But these chicks are physically hot. #Sexy. #Smart. #Wiseasses. Combine these great qualities and you have some really awesome chicks that I relentlessly #flirt with on twitter. Hey. I’m a flirt. I’m just built that way. And there’s a huge difference between being a flirt and being a #creep. #BroCode baby. Know it. Anyways. I dig these chicks. They make Twitter fun for me on my @tblawg account. So here they are and why I dig them in 140 characters or less! My “Most Awesome #Twitter Chicks” list!*

*This list excludes those hotties listed in my Boston’s Most Hottest & Kinda Famous Women and Top 10 Future Celebrity Ex-Wives posts. Sorry ladies. Spreading the #love.

@BethaniePB:
What can I say about Bethanie? A lot. I used to get to see her every Sunday at the bar. Now she’s @Playboy’s (who also follow me BTW) “2011 Cyber Girl of the Year”. And still as nice and down to earth as ever.

@SMLxO:
A hotter, younger version of #MeganFox? Maybe. She puts up makeup videos for other hot chicks on #YouTube. And she’s a little sweetheart.

@RingPRgirl:
One of Boston’s best #PublicRelations women, a sports fan and a wiseass. She sometimes curses like a sailor. But in a hot way.

@wendyfour:
#Breasts. #justsaying.

@AmarieOrtiz:
She is a #Boston girl. She’s hot. She’s funny. And she replies to my crazy ass tweets to her with an LOL. But has yet to follow me back. It’s ok. I’ll win her follow eventually.

@MissPrestin:
Probably one of the hottest women to come out of #Canada. Her body is just ridiculous. And she tweets pics of it often. God bless this woman. Her country is still lame though.

@Krystenritter:
A funny, hot #actress who “favorited” on of my tweets once and replied to another one. Any actress who does that makes my list! A few actresses actually like t-blawg.

@carlaharvey:
I came across Carla watching an episode of #Manswers once. I asked her on Twitter if that was her. She said yes. She wears duct tape on her breasts. Nothing else. And she’s a rocker bad ass. So I follow her.

@Fnkybee:
Funny, cool ass #MILF.

@TheGrayAreaBlog:
A fellow #blogger. Knows a lot about dating like me. And a hot #LA chick. What else do you need?

@LilRingPR:
@RingPRgirl’s cute, funny, lil’ cousin with PR power too. When these #Boston women take over the world, I want to be there.

@xoMalese:
She was in the #SocialNetwork. Filmed in Boston. She replied back to two of my tweets. I now watch #VampireDiaries because of her. Not afraid to admit it.

So there they are. The elite women of My “Most Awesome #Twitter Chicks” list! Now don’t get mad ladies who did not make my list this time. Maybe a little more #TwitterLove and you’ll make the next one. I’m just kidding. #notreally
#Like the list?! Tweet me!

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Filed Under: Awesomeness, Boston, Entertainment, Facebook, Funny, Sex, t-blawg, Twitter, Uncategorized, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
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My “Uncle T” Post

September 5, 2011 By 8 Comments

Because Uncle Jesse was cool and Uncle Joey was an idiot. Cut. It. Out.

I’m a lot of things. There are a lot of things I’m good at. Some things I’m not good at. Some things I like being. Some things I don’t like being. But there’s one thing I like being. And I must say, I’m pretty good at it. And that’s being an uncle. I’m an uncle to 6 kids. 4 girls. 2 boys. From the ages of 1 through 12. And I’m even Godfather to 3 of them! That’s right! Their parents actually think I’m capable of handling that kind of responsibility. But you know what? They’re right. I can. Because they know I’m smart enough, crazy enough and love those kids so much that I’ll do anything for them. Like what you ask? Well. Let T tell you. Here’s what I’ve learned being the coolest, most awesome uncle of all time!!!

An uncle gets to spoil the kids. And get away with it.
Unlike grandparents, we don’t get yelled at for buying their love. We can buy them the loudest, craziest toys and then just say, “That’s what Ma told me they wanted.” Haha. Blame the old people!

An uncle gets to teach the kids about all the crazy shit he thinks is cool.
Like why I refuse to put a “Welcome” mat outside my door. Because vampires can read. And that lets them in at night. To kill you. And why I have a ninja sword in my closet. To fight the ninjas. And a zombie kit. For when the shit goes down uncle is always prepared! And you know what? The kids will think it’s cool too. Or crazy. Either or.

An uncle gets to beat the kids at their own games.
I’m an UNO champion. I just may very well be the greatest UNO player on the planet. Yeah. Seriously. And every time I play my nieces? I beat their asses. Silly. What?! Let them win? Hell no! How else are they supposed to learn that life won’t be fair for them at times? This is good for them. They should thank me.

An uncle is Superman.
I work out. I have tattoos. I live in Boston. I write movies. I dress cool. I talk cool. I’m like friggin’ Superman to my nieces and nephews. And I remind them that I am constantly. And then they laugh. Hey. As long as I can make them laugh. But it’s true. A good uncle should almost seem immortal in every way possible. My nieces and nephews feel safe and are always happy when I’m around. They have no worries. I like that they are this way around me. Little kids shouldn’t have worries.

An uncle has to go to everything. EVERYTHING.
Now you all know that I’m glad I don’t have kids right? But being an uncle comes with some responsibilities. Like attending everything I am invited to when it comes to these kids. I’ve been to so many tee ball games, dance recitals, school plays, swim meets, birthday parties, pool parties, graduations, baptisms, communions…I lost count years ago! But you know what? I loved going to each and every single thing for them. Any other kids’ shit? No way. Other kids that aren’t my nieces and nephews get on my damn nerves. Actually. Their asshole parents get on my nerves.

An uncle must perform feats that no one else can perform.
I’ve gotten all of my nieces and nephews into so many bad yet awesome habits it is ridiculous! I have taught them how to do push ups with someone on their backs. How to throw punches. How to kill monsters. How to do rear naked chokes on much larger opponents. How to do ninja flips as I toss them in the air. Every time I see them I must do these things! Must teach them new shit! They won’t take “I’m tired.” or “Next time.” for an answer! An uncle must always be ready to perform and teach his nieces and nephews some crazy ass shit that their parents will be pissed at him about! I’m open to new ideas people! The crazier, the better.

An uncle must be a genius.
My nephews are both still little and not able to read yet or have homework. However, all of my nieces are. And all of them love to read. Love to be read to. Love to ask me math questions. Science questions. History questions. I have become a walking, living friggin’ Wikipedia person! I don’t know why they save this shit for me and not their parents or grandparents but I’m kind of honored. So I need to know everything about everything! Luckily, I’m also smart as hell. And I have an iPhone with Google. Which gives me access to everything! Phew.

An uncle is a gun for hire. The contract is love.
Moms nurture. Dads discipline. Grandparents give in. Uncles? We have to be cool. Smart. Funny. Entertaining. And awesome. But most importantly, we have to put the fear of God into anyone or anything that shows even the tiniest hint of danger towards his nieces and nephews. We don’t have to play by man law. We get to beat the shit out of other kids’ dads. Beat up other opposing uncles. Random people at the carnival that look like kiddie diddlers. Boys in the schoolyard that have crushes on your nieces. Bullies that bully your nephews at daycare. All of them must feel the wrath of Uncle! There is no mercy! It is the “Number One Uncle Rule”!!! Beat the living shit out of everything for the kids. I wear this uncle badge with great honor and pride.

So that’s what I’ve learned being an uncle so far. And I love it all. More importantly, I love my nieces and nephews more than anything. Those kids are my heart and without them I definitely could’ve went an entirely different way in life. And not a good way. They make me smile and making them smile is one of the best things I get do in my life. And now my oldest niece approaches teenager status. My next uncle post might just be entirely different. Oh shit.

What do you think? Do you now have a better idea of what it’s like to be an uncle? Know any uncles cooler than me? Let me know right here. On Twitter. On Facebook. Or on BuzzFeed.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Filed Under: Awesomeness, Boston, Children, Comedy, Entertainment, Facebook, Family, Holiday, Life, t-blawg, Twitter, Uncategorized, Writing Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,
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My “The Origin of T” Post

August 29, 2011 By Leave a Comment

I keep evolving yo

How did I become the man who writes this blog every Monday? A crazy bastard who lived through so much crazy shit? An opinionated, educated, creative, innovating smooth ladies man whose gift and curse may force him to live a permanent single life of awesomeness? Sometimes a funny yet rude Boston dude? How did I become T? Well get your popcorn ready. Pull up a chair. Pour yourself a glass of Courvoisier. And listen…um…read. Because I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always this cool. Some people feel that somebody, some woman, some thing must have had done a number on me to make me this way. This cynical. This experienced. This crazy. This honest. This opinionated. This funny. This awesome. This….humble. Yeah right. Well here’s how I came to be. The Origin of T.

After his epic battle with death at birth and his evil childhood moments….T still was always a good student. Always in the advanced classes. He was in the National Honor Society. Carried a 4.0 grade point average. He only missed 8 days of school his entire life. Seriously. He didn’t go to school because he liked it. Oh no. It was actually pretty easy for him. But he went every single day because he knew that good grades led to college which led to a good job which led to money which led to a better life. A way out. At times he actually took school a little too seriously. But outside of school, especially at home, he had developed one hell of an attitude problem. He needed that attitude he thought. It was his edge. T needed it to stay sharp. Yeah. At his childhood home. He had his reasons in which he probably won’t ever truly disclose on t-blawg. Maybe one day he will. Just trust T on this. So, his book smarts combined with his uncanny street ways with a little bad attitude mixed in, created one hell of a living, breathing, human contradiction. That was his youth. A good kid dealt a crappy hand? Yeah. But he always kept his sense of humor. Thanks to his strong mother, caring sister and equally crazy cousin. They kept him level headed. They kept him going. Seriously. This was when T was just a kid! From the ages of birth to like 13. Crazy right?! Normal childhoods are for pussies. That’s what T told myself.

T knew he was smart. He knew he was ballsy. He knew he was a badass. He just needed a nickname to go along with it. He was a dog. He lived on the third floor of an old three-family East Boston apartment building. His old Italian landlord kept a sign up that said “Beware of the dog.” This is why his friends started to call him T-Dog. And that name would stay with him for the rest of his life. T’s late teen years and early twenties were full of some crazy shit. His closest friends never knew which T was out with them. The smart college T. The angry gets into fights T. The loyal friend T. The hustler T. The funny charming ladies man T. Or the self destructive hates the world T. To this day he is very thankful for all the shit that the people in his life had to put up with during this time. And T managed. With a smile on his face. After all the gym time. After all the scars. After all the tats. He went on the straight and narrow. Graduated college. Calmed down. T entered corporate America and put most of his old life and ways behind him. Biz-T came to be. T went on the nightlife scene and met some spectacular women. And some not so spectacular. He had his heart broken. Twice. Smartened him up and made him search for a good woman. But occasionally dirty womanizing Nasty T would show up. He now embraced his inner cynicism. A little bitter. And the world later got T Thomas, the writer. The talent. Let’s just say T had many nicknames to match his many sides. Which he definitely should’ve seen a therapist about many years ago. But T never did. His sense of humor, charm, talent, loyalty and ambition, along with his legendary past full of trials and tribulations gave the world a living legend. T blogged about that once. T hopes you read it.

After years of becoming one hell of a man, T was comfortable with who he had become. He wanted to share his life, experiences, tales and opinions with the world. This is where his writing came into play. After at first only utilizing MySpace and Facebook to charm many many hot women, he listened to his inner circle of close friends and family. They said “T. Your updates and comments are hilarious!” and “You’re the man! Dude, you say shit and do things nobody else does.” T knew this. He always knew this! He was already a writer to a certain degree but the world did not get to see it from T’s point of view. It was time. The people wanted a blog. The people wanted T! The people wanted t-blawg!!! A place that captures T’s many sides while being entertained thanks to the mind of a one of a kind genius who always takes it there. A ladies man. A real man. A former punk. A writer. A businessman. A true Bostonian. A recovered asshole. A man who sometimes lived in his own crazy world! But what if this world collided with the regular world? What would happen??? t-blawg would happen. And here we are today. Is it really T’s world and we’re all just living in it now? He sure thinks so. And now you know. The Origin of T.

What did you think? Is it all starting to make sense now or you more confused than ever??? Tweet the kid. Facebook the kid. BuzzFeed the kid. Or holla right here people.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Filed Under: Awesomeness, Boston, Bro Code, Comedy, Dating, Different, Entertainment, Facebook, Funny, Movies, Opinionated, Screenwriting, Sex, Social Media, Sports, t-blawg, TV, Twitter, Uncategorized, Women, Writing Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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My “Another Birthday Epiphany?” Post

August 22, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Just once. Please God. Just one fucking bday let it happen!

It’s my birthday. Another year gone by. Another year starting. So it’s time for another birthday epiphany post. This was last year’s. Last year I was humbled. I got hit with some major ass kryptonite and Superman lost his ability to fly. So I entered my “Legendary” Larry Bird year humanized. What did I learn during my Larry Bird year? A lot actually. I learned who my real family is. Who my real friends are. But most importantly, I learned a lot about myself. What I’m really capable of. And I learned that I have a lot of resolve. I learned that once I put my mind and heart into something, I get it done. I accomplish. I don’t break. This has actually been one hell of a fantastic year for me when I really think about it. The world tested the shit out of T and I stood tall. When all the dust was settled and all the smoke had cleared, I came out on top. Finally. After 2 years of battling in almost every aspect possible, I had won. I came through in the clutch. And I enter my Truth/Clutch year. My Paul Pierce/David Ortiz year.

What do I want to happen during this next year? Hmm. Again, I don’t let the age number dictate my life. I also don’t go by the regular fiscal year. I go birthday to birthday. So this year I just want it all. That’s right. Everything that I want I am going to get. And that’s the Truth. So I need to come through in the Clutch. Like only I can. I’m swinging for the fucking fences this year baby! I’m getting the title. Another title for Titletown! My banner is getting raised to the rafters. I want the success. I want the girl. I want Hollywood. I want my family to be set. I’m going toe to toe and taking out anything and anyone that gets in my way. Nothing is stopping me. I now have the foundation built and a life tested playbook for success. Now it’s just time to execute.

I definitely could write about my awesome annual bday bash that always has the same people there every year when I write these. My closest people. My inner circle. The ones who help me do what I do. The ones I do it for. They know this. Those parties are fucking epic. Let’s just say Puffy and Jay-Z don’t have shit on T’s birthday parties. But I would rather write about where my head is at. Where my heart is at. Where my life is at during my birthday. I think everybody should reflect on their birthday. The year that passed. The year ahead. It really is an epiphany. Your eyes are opened. Your head is cleared. Your heart is realigned. You see the Truth. You see what you have done or need to do in the Clutch. This is where I’m at. This is the year I have ahead for myself. And I’m fucking pumped for it!  It’s my Paul Pierce year. My David Ortiz year. Watch next year’s post. Mark my words. Happy bday to T.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Filed Under: Alcohol, Awesomeness, Birthday, Blog, Boston, Celebrity, Comedy, Crazy, Different, Edgy, Entertainment, Exciting, Facebook, Family, Funny, Holiday, Humor, Interesting, Life, Opinionated, Party, Screenwriting, Social Media, Sports, t-blawg, Titletown, Twitter, Uncategorized, Women, Work, Writing Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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My “T Does Poughkeepsie in 3 Paragraphs” Post

August 15, 2011 By 5 Comments

The Albanian bartender was hotter

*I’ve decided to do a series of blog posts that capture my travels throughout my life. In 3 paragraphs. I’ll post them every once in a while. Some places I’ve been to a few times, others only once. And some I will probably never go back to because of what went down there.

If you’re from Poughkeepsie you may not want to read this “T Does City in 3 Paragraphs.” I’m serious. Ok. I warned you. I fucking hate Poughkeepsie. It is the taint of America. THE TAINT!!! The ass ball connector! It is horrible. I’ve been to Po-Town once in my life and I will never, ever go back. Now some people have their stereotypical opinions on why they think Poughkeepsie sucks. Not me. I have a legit beef with that fucking place. It’s personal. It’s ugly. And it’s time I tell the story right here on t-blawg. Most of my friends know this story. Because they laugh because they know me. Now years later I can laugh. But it took me over 3 years to get over what transpired there.

Enter November 2007. A good friend of mine moved back home to Poughkeepsie. She’s a really close friend. A member of my bullpen. She would always come back to Boston to visit so I figured I should visit her there. Plus I wanted to see her life there. I left work at 7PM on a Friday night. Shot to the store to pick up a nice new button up. Was on the Mass Pike by 8:30. After 3 & ½ hours of driving by myself and pumping red bull I finally got to her house. She and her roommate greeted me with wine. We killed that quick. Then we went to the only damn club in the whole town. I will not even give that place any publicity on my blog. Let’s call it “Fuckface.” The bartender was smoking hot and loved my Boston attitude. We hit it off. She gave me drinks. All the while this town unbeknownst to me, was apparently an Albanian mafia heavy town. That’s cool yo. I like everybody. Until there is a problem. So some Albanians in “Fuckface” didn’t like that the hottie Albanian bartender liked me. And I guess some of the Albanian chicks there were grilling me and their dudes didn’t like that either. So I kept drinking. “Fuckface” closes earlier than most spots and everybody left. I go to grab my expensive jacket in an empty coat check and it’s gone. This was a problem.

I’m from East Boston. Growing up, people would beat your ass and take your coat, hat and sneakers all the time. Well I never let that happen to me as a kid. So as an adult that shit was not going to happen to me in this hillbilly town in this club “Fuckface.” I went nuts. The cops came. They questioned people who worked at “Fuckface.” Nothing. They played video footage back. Nothing. And no coat room video camera either. So now everybody from “Fuckface” said to try the bar next door because the degenerates from this club may have stolen my jacket and went over there to finish the night. Cops told me not to, I did anyways. I looked around. My coat wasn’t there. I’m so drunk at this point I don’t even remember what the Albanian dudes from “Fuckface” look like. So after the police leave, hey fuck the police, I take the prison approach. Which is “Go after the biggest dog in the yard and beat his ass to set an example.” Hey I was drunk and angry. I know. And stupid. So, I go up to the biggest Albanian in there, shove my forearm into his throat and slam him against the wall demanding my jacket. Ten bouncers pull me out of there. I get on the phone to some old school Boston buddies and tell them to drive to Po-Town so we can blow this town up. My cousin told me to calm down and to be careful of the Albanian mafia. What?! He said I could get into some shit and I was far from Boston. Nobody told me about this before I decided to come to Poughkeepsie. I really wish somebody did. My friend and her brother took me to my first real diner and calmed me down. I went back to “Fuckface” the next day and scared the owner a bit. He cut a check for my coat. It wasn’t about the money. It was the principle. That was the last time the old me ever showed his face again. Thank God. I apologized to my friend. Spent the next night freezing my ass off without a coat and then went back home to Boston the next day. I vowed to never go back to Poughkeepsie again. I fucking hate Poughkeepsie. But I love Boston the most.

What do you think of this “T Does Some City”??? Definitely a negative review but look what happened! Have you ever been to Po-Town? What was your experience? And were you aware of the Albanian mafia??? I want to know! Here or on the Facebook page or tweet me on Twitter.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

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