T-pisode 21: Stacked Bullpen

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Every single guy has a pipeline. A chick net. Old school term: black book. It consists of the women we are either dating, hooking up with, booty calling, girls we’re just starting to talk to and even some ex-girlfriends. Even guys in relationships have them. Oh yeah they do. Each girl in the pipeline is on a different level. And we use them for different things. Sometimes the pipeline is huge and out of control. Sometimes it diminishes depending on whether you are in a relationship or only focusing on one or two women in the pipeline. But it is always there. And it is a necessity. So we can swap one woman out for the next one. Ruthless? Yes. But it’s a way of life. And women do it too. Now the older you get the more you need to find ways to grow, control and really take advantage of your pipeline. That’s why every guy also needs to have a bullpen. A bullpen consists of the women who can assist you with the women in your pipeline. So swallow your pride and stop believing in that “The only women I talk to are the women I’m banging. So I can’t be friends with any chicks.” bullshit. You need to get that shit out of your head! Because once I created the bullpen method, my life changed.

I’m older now. Wiser. And I have a stacked bullpen. It’s full of women who I can go to for any female question, problem, scenario and either an individual answer or the overall collective answer from my stacked bullpen usually gives about an 87% accuracy. Because let’s face it. I don’t care how good you think you are. How great your game is. How mighty your pimp hand be. Each woman is different and they can, at any time, drop some unforeseen shit on your ass. And odds are, somebody in your bullpen has dropped some of that unforeseen shit on some dude at some point in her life. See what I mean? Your bullpen needs to consist of women you are not banging. Not dating. You can break these rules but be sure to swap them out immediately after sex with another woman who offers the same exact skill set because that girl in your bullpen is now in your pipeline. And you need her skills in your arsenal. Reload brother.

My bullpen consists of a woman who I’ve been close friends with since college. A married mother of 2 with another on the way in suburbia. An out-of-state single female version of me. A slightly older single man-eater. And a young hottie who lives on the party scene. These 5 women cover every part of the female world that I am interested in. That I have sex with. That I date. That I would have a relationship with. That I may marry and have kids with one day. They are all hot, intelligent, experienced and quick to let me know what I’m doing right and wrong. And as good as I am on my own, they make me better. And they need me too at times. I’m in their bullpen. And they use me often. They are available by phone, by text, by facebook. Sometimes I only need one of their point of views. Sometimes I need all 5 of them. It depends on the situation I got myself into. Remember, our boys can only do so much. Because most of the time when you ask your buddy for his opinion he will say “Just bang her.” Or “Just bang her friend.” Or “Get that slut out of your life.” Great advice 9 out of 10 times. But sometimes you do need a female’s point of view. And you won’t get it from the girl you’re involved with. Because she wants you to “figure her out” without telling you what she wants. Yeah cause that’s always fucking fun. But you will from your bullpen. So try to find some women who you are not banging. Put them in your bullpen. And elevate your game. Trust me. You won’t be disappointed. Stack your bullpen my friends.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

12 comments

  1. this. is. my. favorite. post. ahahahahahhaah i didn’t know you were so wise.

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  2. This is alittle to personal for me to be reading, really don’t need to know this!!

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    1. I agree. But it has been the biggest first day post to receive the most amount of traffic yet!!! t-blawg actually went down for a few minutes from all the traffic! The people appreciate my honesty. And thankfully Ma doesn’t know how to work a computer.

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  3. Once you get married, you will have to trade away the bullpen and the wife becomes the manager in the dugout spitting the sunflower seeds.

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  4. I made t-blawg?! I’m famous! But it is true- you need a female perspective when dealing with females. And now all of the married women who read this are rummaging through drawers trying to find their husband’s little black book. Good work! 🙂

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    1. So proud to have a member of my bullpen comment! Many married men took their phones into the bathroom with them this morning for sure.

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    1. Tiger had one hell of a pipeline. If he had a decent bullpen he never would’ve got into the shit he got into with the girls in his pipeline. His wife included.

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  5. haha thank you for validating the platonic female-male friendship, I like to think I’m a good asset in the bullpen 🙂 on a side note, I’m totally “that” chick in The Scene =/

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    1. Glad to hear there are more women supporting the bullpen cause! Which chick from the scene though? Some good. Some…not so much. 😉

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