T-pisode 24: Types of Women to Avoid Vol. 1

Between myself and my boys, over the years we’ve dated, been involved with, hooked up with & married all different types of women. And I’ve definitely learned from these experiences. I’ve decided to start a list, in volumes, about these women to share it here with all of you! Take notice my friends. These are the types of women you want to avoid when it comes to “relations”.

Co-worker
Do not shit where you eat! Do not shit where you eat! Follow this!!! I don’t care how hot she is. What she says she will do to you in bed. Once you get involved with this chick, she will make your life hell! Because now you see her before work, at work and after work! She knows everything you do and will fuck with you in every way possible. It took me 5 times to learn this shit. DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH THE CHICK YOU WORK WITH!!!

Leaving My Boyfriend Soon
This girl seems sweet. So kind. So beautiful. She just got into the wrong relationship and you’re the right one for her. She said so. You believe her. You are a fucking idiot! She’s never leaving him! And if and when she does, it’s not going to be for you! You are her emotional friend! That’s it. She will never bang you. Never like you. Fuck this heartless bitch and the horse she rode in on! Bounce dude! Bounce!!!!

Party girl
Doesn’t matter if she fucks like a rabbit when she’s blowing lines off your penis. She does drugs for a reason. Doesn’t matter that she has a suitcase full of kinky toys. She has sexual trauma. Don’t care if you find it hot that she takes it in the poop shoot. She’s a dirty little freak and that’s all you got. Outside of the partying and sex, she will try to kill you while killing herself. She’s on a mission to self destruct and when you try to call her out on it she will try to stab you with a butcher knife. Stay away from party girl. Seriously.

School teacher
She loves kids. She wants kids. That means she wants marriage. This is all that is on her pretty little perky brain 24/7. Know this going in. Marry this broad if you want. But don’t bang her.

Foreign chick
She’s hot. Sexy. Barely speaks English. Your bodies do the talking for you. It’s fun. It’s passionate. Then the feds storm in and deport the girl back to Brazil. For real. Don’t laugh. This shit happened.

The girl who does nothing
She lives at home. Is 18 credits shy of a college degree at 27 and is thinking about going back but never will. She is broke. Looks good because all she does is workout and tan all day. Snap out of it dummy! The bitch is a leech! She will clean out your bank account so fast. Stay the hell away from does nothing girl!

The divorcee
You want the queen of all head cases and full of anger??? Then go out with the divorcee. Everything fucked up that her ex did to her, she is looking to exact revenge on with your stupid ass. Have fun.

Career chick
This girl puts her job before everything. Everything! You will never see her. And when you do she is so stressed out from work. Always checking her email from her blackberry. And I guarantee every dude at her office is fucking her more than you.

Fitness honey
Hey I like to workout too. But when you’re dating a female marine drill sergeant, her hot body starts to stop mattering to you. She doesn’t drink. Won’t go anywhere fun to eat. She likes to do a dominant power bang then get her 9 hours of sleep. And she just might be a lesbian.

Dumb broad
Doesn’t matter if she is the hottest girl on the planet. If you get to date number 3 and all you know about this girl is she likes reality tv, Justin Bieber and red velvet nail polish, she is a retard. Bang her then get the fuck out. Her incoherent texts will stop being cute fast. Her inability to understand what is going on in the world will become painful. Unless you’re a retard too. Then do the world a favor and stay put. You’re taking one for the team bro. Just don’t have kids together.

Chick You Gotta Mold
This is a last minute entry to this list. I could’ve saved it for Volume 2 but after his weekend I realized a chick in my life is “Gotta Mold” girl. Back in the day I’d have no problem molding a chick but now I don’t have the time or patience. Not saying she’s a bad girl. Just saying it’s not worth any grown man’s time. She’s immature. And even if you helped her to try to do something more with her life, she’s still doesn’t get it and is a waste of your time. If you want to put the time in, ok. Just remember this. You have to get into her head before you get into her bed. Break her mentally. If you treat her like an asshole, she’ll love it. Then you can shape her to your liking. Me? Sorry hun. I just don’t have the time or the stomach for that anymore. Good luck in life.

That was my first volume of the types of women you want to avoid. But you’re a man so you’ll probably read this, laugh and go make the same mistakes I did. And you know what? I will most likely make them again too. We are doomed as a race.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T