T-pisode 83: Breaking the Bad Dating Cycle

In all my years of dating I have come to one mind boggling conclusion. You ready? Here it is. 99% of people dating go for two types. The ones that treat you bad and the ones you can treat bad. This is fact! And this is sad. Now congrats to you 1%ers out there who have managed to meet somebody who you treat well and treats you as equally well. As Christian Bale once said on the set of the Terminator “Ooohhhh good for yooouuuu!” The rest of us are still in the trenches still battling and trying to figure this shit out. Well I think I have. And I’m going to share it right now. You want to break that bad dating cycle you are in? You want to start to actually enjoy dating? Well old T got you covered. Here’s how you break that bad cycle. Let’s all break that bad cycle!

Let’s not be nice at first.
WHAT?! Don’t be nice? Exactly. Be shallow at first. If you don’t have even the itsy bitsy hint of a physical attraction to the person who just walked up to you at the bar then let it be known. A simple “Thank you. I’m flattered. But I’m not interested.” Done! If you don’t have interest don’t give your number! If you don’t have interest, don’t drink the damn free drink! If you’re not excited about the date, then don’t go on the date! Now we can all focus on the people who actually have a genuine interest from the start.

Your friends aren’t always right!
Your friends love you, of course. They have your back, yes. But sometimes we listen to them and they’re…wrong. Maybe they are jealous. Maybe they are bitter. Maybe they are just stupid. You know who really knows what and who you like? YOU. Make the call yourself. Get to know the person you are dating regardless of what your friends may or may not know about the person. You know best. Find out and decide for yourself. Do not date on assumptions from those outside of the things the two of you are sharing alone together.

Go Against Type
Date somebody who is the complete opposite of the type of person you usually date. Go in open minded. Try it. See what happens. You have nothing to lose and maybe a whole new world to gain. If it sucks, then go back to the type who has made your life miserable for so many years.

Nobody Meets Somebody by Staying In or Going Home Early
Don’t stay in your house 7 nights a week! Don’t be that person who goes home early when all of your friends are still out having a great time! Yes we all have to be up early for work. Yes we all have AM meetings. Yes we all have to make it to the gym. But you never know what you missed. And I’m not talking about the stupid shit your drunk friend usually does every time. I’m talking about the perfect someone who walked in the second after you left and you never even met. Think about that shit.

Don’t Start It With Sex
Do not hookup one drunk night and think you can now date. Do not go on the first date, hookup and think you can now date. You are out of your fucking mind if you think it will work out. Eventually, shit will end. It will end badly. It will end awkwardly. All because you couldn’t hold out a couple of dates to get to know each other before you boned. Trust me on this. I speak from experience. I do not repeat this mistake.

Don’t End It With Sex
If you think you can have one last banging session before you break up with somebody and then start dating somebody else fresh and new without having any lingering effects from that last banging, you are bat shit crazy! You are breaking up for a reason. If you still want to have sex, then you still want to be with that person. It’s not fair to the new person you are dating and most importantly, it’s not fair to yourself. Smarten the fuck up.

Mixed signals are pointless
If you like the person you just met or are dating, tell them. No having to think about it. No wondering if you should or shouldn’t. If you have any hesitation, tell them and then don’t date them. Move on to the next one. No leading on. That is just straight douchebaggery.

The Games Stop in Your early 20s People
I played games. You’ve played games. Did it. Learned from it. No longer doing it. If you are 25+ and still playing those “playa/playette” games, you are a piece of shit and deserve to be alone forever. Karma will bite you in your ass. Don’t play games with those who don’t deserve it when you are an adult just because you can. Because if you are still doing this, then you aren’t an adult. Dating isn’t a fucking power game. Learn this.

Once You Let Somebody Know You Like Them and They Don’t Feel The Same? Walk Away. You’ll Never Be Friends.
This is so obvious yet some of us still want to be friends. Why? We all already have plenty of friends. You’ll never be real friends with this person. Ever. Regardless of how nice they are, cut them off. You have to.

It’s Not Just About You
Dating is a compromise. Put them first. They put you first. You give then take. They give then take. That’s it. If you have constantly been putting yourself first in every one of your dating situations, now you know why none of them ever work out.

Jealousy Is Never a Good Look
The #1 dating killer! Why be jealous? If they don’t want to be with you, then let them go. Otherwise, just be secure in yourself and know how much of a great catch you are and they will know the same. Don’t be jealous. Be confident in your shit. Own your shit.

Check Your Baggage At Your Door
The key is “YOUR” door. Check it before you leave your place. Don’t bring it to theirs. The past is the past. Let it stay there. Only worry about what you have now and want for the future. That’s it. Start fresh and just enjoy each other!

So there you have it! This information is a surefire way to break the bad dating cycle. Print this out. Put it in your wallet, purse, fanny pack, back pocket, whatever. Bring it on your first few dates and then thank me later. Now go out and have some good fucking dates people!!!

What do you think of my advice? My dating posts are usually pretty popular. Have anything to add to help break the bad dating cycle? Comment here, tweet or facebook me!

Until next time. Always take it there.

T