Just like when it comes to writing, sometimes in life you just have to turn the page people. Move on. Get over it. I’ll let Metallica take this one tonight.

“Turn The Page”

#nofilter but a #tblawgpose with a #smile

Yes it’s one of those rare occasions that I take to T-blawg and do an impromptu post during the week again. Oh snap! But this is necessary. It’s not news that I take to Twitter and Facebook in between my weekly T-pisodes. It’s also not news that I’m a lifelong Boston sports fan. You’ve seen all the T-blawg Poses with all the Boston sports teams’ hats by this point. So last night the Bruins pulled off one of the greatest comebacks in sports history. And it was awesome. But up until that point this team played 2 games, 2 periods and 10 minutes of absolutely awful playoff hockey. And any “real” fan knows that. Now any real fan also knows that you cheer for your teams and get mad at your teams because you love them. You want them to win of course but if they’re going to lose, you want them to go out fighting. With heart. And you will be pissed but you will still love them. So it bothers me when Pink Hatters and fickle bandwagon fans on Facebook & Twitter have the balls to say that all us real fans gave up on the Bruins. That we are not real fans. Well, fuck you. And fuck you. And especially…FUCK YOU. Because you don’t know shit about sports. You don’t know shit about loyalty. You don’t know shit about passion. You are fake. You don’t go to any games unless somebody else buys you your ticket or your company comps you some. You aren’t there all season long before the playoffs. You don’t watch any games at all really. Hell you weren’t even there before the Bruins won the Cup in 2011. Same goes for the Patriots. Same for the Red Sox. And same for the Celtics. You know who you are. Me? Well I earned my stripes in Boston. With MY sports teams. In life. I have fucking seniority and earned the right to cheer and boo MY Boston teams. Need more credentials? Do a search on this site. You’ll find plenty Pink Hatter. I don’t point judgmental fingers. I will just walk up to you and slap you in your mouth. The love and passion for one’s sports teams is the same passion as when you played a sport as a kid. When you played hard and scored, you were cheered. Your coach loved you. When you slacked and didn’t help out the team, you were booed and your coach screamed at your ass. The same goes for your job now with the praise and reprimand that you get. The same goes for your relationships with friends & family who love you but will be quick to tell you when you’re fucking up. Get it? No? Well here’s why you don’t get it. It’s because you’re not only a Pink Hatter when it comes to sports teams but you are most likely also a Pink Hatter when it comes to everything else in your life. You are doing nothing with it. You are fake. You are judgmental. And you do not have the passion, loyalty or heart to do anything about it. You are hoping to jump on the bandwagon of someone else’s life so they will take care of you. So don’t deflect on all us real fans and hardworking, passionate, successful people living our lives as awesome as possible. It’s unattractive. It’s pathetic. And oh yeah, if you don’t like anything I say then stop coming to T-blawg, unfollow me on Twitter and turn off my updates on Facebook. Because by now you know that this is just how I roll and I’m not changing. This is what I do as I write this with my fucking Bruins Playoff Beard. Call bullshit on all the bullshitters. And to all my fellow “real” Boston sports fans…GO BROOOONS!!!!

I’m that type of guy for a lot of women like LL Cool J over here but for some I don’t have time for the bullshit so read this shit.

There are a lot of women out there who only date a certain type of guy. I get it. Oh I get it. So I’m going to save a shit ton of women some time and I’m going to save myself some time. There are a whole bunch of things that I am. Good things. Bad things. Great things. But mostly I’m talking about things that make me the type of guy for a lot of women. But that is a list for another day. For another T-pisode. This list is a list of all the things I’m not. Things that I am not when it comes to what some not so bright women want. The kind of women who go for shit. Because ol’ T is not shit. I am THE shit. But not shit. If you’re looking for any of the things below then T ain’t your damn type. So let’s not waste either one of our times here. Here is that list. Enjoy!

T ain’t your type if you’re into…douchebags

T ain’t your type if you’re into…games

T ain’t your type if you’re into…hillbillies

T ain’t your type if you’re into…hipsters

T ain’t your type if you’re into…old divorcees with kids

T ain’t your type if you’re into…sensitive sissies

T ain’t your type if you’re into…nerds

T ain’t your type if you’re into…stupid fucks

T ain’t your type if you’re into…the short term

T ain’t your type if you’re into…broke dudes

T ain’t your type if you’re into…Pink Hatters

T ain’t your type if you’re into…liars

T ain’t your type if you’re into…dudes content with a “9 to 5”

T ain’t your type if you’re into…having someone you can control in the friend zone

T ain’t your type if you’re into…having an emotional friend

T ain’t your type if you’re into…owning a slave instead of having a boyfriend

T ain’t your type if you’re into…a late night sexting buddy without the perks

T ain’t your type if you’re into…a friend with benefits

T ain’t your type if you’re into…just having a guy to hang out with between the breakups with your on again/off again douchebag boyfriend

T ain’t your type if you’re into…a sugar daddy to feed you and parade your ass around town

T ain’t your type if you’re into…STDs

T ain’t your type if you’re into…living life on the couch watching reality shows

T ain’t your type if you’re into…complaining all the fucking time

T ain’t your type if you’re into…having a side dick behind your husband’s back

T ain’t your type if you’re into…the guy under the hat without wanting to know who he really is

That’s it. I’m not your type if you are looking for anything I just listed. Sorry. Well not really. This T-pisode list was short and sweet and without any bullshit. Like the way I like my women.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Especially you Ma. I wouldn’t be the man I am today if it wasn’t for you. Thank you for putting up with my crazy ass and for not killing me.

Happy Mother’s Day!*

*In case I don’t get on here tomorrow

I’ll let old school Pras, ODB (RIP) and the lovely Mya take this one tonight.

T is/was a “Ghetto Superstar”

This is my very own “Office Bro Drawer.” I know everything that’s in here. Touch this shit and I will cut you.

Just like my “Number Two Drawer” T-pisode, I thought about turning this one into a Bro Code chapter. But figured it would be better on it’s own. What the hell is the “Office Bro Drawer” T??? Glad you asked. Every man needs to have an “Office Bro Drawer” at work. I don’t care if you’re the CEO of Apple. A mechanic down the street. The guy taking orders at the Wendy’s drive-thru. Or even an entry level mailroom clerk making sure ol’ T here gets all his important snail mail at the office. You need to have an “Office Bro Drawer!” It is quite simply a drawer at work where you keep all your manly bro shit…bro. That’s right. The essentials must always be there. What are the essentials? Everything you need as a man to get you through the day or any situation that may occur during the day at work or the events that may and can occur after work. You with me?

Throughout my entire career I have always had an “Office Bro Drawer.” It has changed according to my career, age, needs and wants throughout the years. I have also put together my various “Office Bro Drawers” to make sure they are adaptable. So I can survive. Succeed. Have sex. Be good. Be bad. Cover up mistakes. Have a good alibi. Whatever the fuck was needed was always in my damn “Office Bro Drawer!” Whether you have a cube, an office or a single drawer, you need to use one as your “Office Bro Drawer.” Because any man can tell you that shit goes down at work. Or after work. And you must be prepared. You must have the essentials in it. Like so:

Oral hygiene products-This is a given bro. You eat at work. You have meetings. You need to impress.

 
Condoms-Even though I am now against office sex, it happens. But so doesn’t drinking and dates after work. Have them.

 
Water bottle-Real men drink water all damn day. Hydrate that ass.

 
Gum/Tic Tacs-Always have fresh breath at work all day long. BE that guy!

 
Cologne-One squirt is enough. That’s what she said.

 
Energy shots-T don’t do coffee. But T does do energy shots on long ass days at the office. Especially if T has plans after work as well.

 
Aspirin-I don’t know about you but I think I come into the office with a hangover at least once a week. Have aspirin. Always.

 
Protein-Whether it’s protein shakes or protein bars, you should be eating protein. Man up Sally!

 
Emergen-C/Airborne-T don’t have time to get sick. This shit helps. Trust T.

 
A fucking Tide stick-Sometimes you spill shit on yourself like a fucking two year old. I don’t know why. But it happens. This shit will get the stain out!

 
Lotion-Hands, face, balls…whatever. Be smooth bro. Be smooth.

 
Tums-I’m Italian. Sometimes I get agita from stress. That’s heartburn for all you non-Itals. But all men get stressed out at work sometimes. Chew some Tums.

 
Baby Wipes-Just have them. These things clean shit. Not just babies. Spills, shoes, greasy hands, crumbs, whatever. Keep them handy. But don’t keep no baby in your “Office Bro Drawer.” HR frowns upon that.

So that is what an “Office Bro Drawer” is and why you should have one. You are at work to be successful. You need tools at your disposal to be successful. You need weapons in your arsenal to go to battle after work. You may need medical care after a night out in the battlefield when you come into your home base of operations the next day. The “Office Bro Drawer” serves all purposes for you as a man. Have one. Get one. Use one. And once again bro, thank me later.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

I think I’m going to buy an old school shiny suit for my LA trip in 2 weeks!

Doing a double tonight! Hot chicks with ink. Oh yeah that’s the stuff.

This is how me and the homeless guy look every morning in the Boston Commons getting our karate shit on.

Ol’ T is one disciplined son of a bitch. I really am. Everyone that knows me in my personal life knows that I am capable of doing some crazy shit just to test myself. I have been told that I can be pretty intense. Almost insane with the shit that I do just because I choose to. Well in my life I think I need to have a lot of discipline. I mean lets face it, I tend to get into shit sometimes and if I don’t stay the course I will end up dead or in jail. Well not so much these days but in my earlier days if I didn’t have this disciplined nature I wouldn’t be here putting T-blawg and all it’s awesomeness out into the damn world. That is a fact. I have an extreme personality. Not like jumping out of airplanes without a parachute like the great Johnny Utah extreme but in the extreme way that if I didn’t have a lot of control I would jump across a table and knock a dude the fuck out. Oh wait. I did that. More than once. Shit.

I need structure in my life is what I’m saying. And with that comes routine. The gym, work, diet, writing, dating…pretty much everything in my life has structure. Which is pretty crazy because I’m still the type that can just up and do something nuts without thinking. I am routinely spontaneous I guess? Wait, what? Look, I’m the type who keeps a clean desk at the office. A shiny car. Packs his meals for the work week. That’s the small stuff that takes discipline in my eyes. Then I will totally do something like train for a Spartan Race for 4 months. Give up alcohol for 50 days. Then totally book a trip to Paris with a young chick without thinking the very next day. That’s how I roll. The latter happens because I stop thinking. Go off the routine. I throw discipline out the window and end up at the club with a young slampig and a hangover that lasts 3 fucking days! I need discipline is what I’m saying. I also tend to like people who have discipline. Who have structure. Who are organized but can still totally do something and surprise the shit out of me. I love people like that. Especially women like that. Have your “To Do” list honey as long as I’m on that “To Do” list as well. ZING! Did you over notice that disciplined people are always just a bit more successful? A bit more healthier? Walk around without bags under their eyes? Smile a bit wider? And more often? It’s not because they know something that you don’t. It’s because they are willing to commit to make their lives better by having discipline. Focus. Goals. Without this, your life will be in chaos. A chaotic life is not a successful life in my opinion. And this is still T-blawg so that is all that matters in this house.

I get my balls busted when I say I have to get up in the morning for a dirty boxing session. I get shit when I say I gave up booze and drink water at the Bruins game. I get crazy looks from people at work when I tell them that I spent my Sunday morning jumping over homeless people in the Back Bay Fens as part of my Tough Mudder training. I get laughed at when I say I’m staying in on a Saturday night because I have to get 8 pages done on a script with an imaginary deadline I placed on myself. Are you getting the picture that I’m painting yet? This is discipline. This is what I do. It can be a real pain in the ass at times but you know what? The things that are a pain in the ass today are the same things that will make you smile tomorrow. Because I’m living proof of that. Like I said, ol’ T is one disciplined son of a bitch. But I’m also that guy that’s always smiling. Now get the fuck off that couch. Get the hell out of bed. And go do something! Make it your routine. Embrace discipline. Thank me later.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

It’s time to get back to my #wouldwife posts. They’re a part of T-blawg.

Alison Brie

I don’t do these impromptu T-pisodes often but after the events of this week how could I not write about Boston? It is my responsibility as a life long Bostonian and as the guy under that Red Sox hat telling his life story on this website for the last 3 and ½ years. And my world, my life, just like the rest of Boston was turned upside this week. This week was a rollercoaster of happiness, pain, loss, anger, hate, fear, terror, unity, strength, heart, resolve, courage and victory. We went from celebrating our annual Marathon Monday and Patriots Day to acts of terrorism in an instant. None of us could get a grip on what was happening. Even after Monday we were on alert and looking for terrorists in our city without knowing what they looked like. We cried. We reached out to each other. We couldn’t go to work. We didn’t eat. We didn’t sleep. We all just watched TV and reached out to everyone we knew. Waiting. Hoping. In fear. We found out who the victims were. And we cried some more. We saw who the heroes were and how they responded. Our sports teams gave tributes. The President came to Boston and gave us hope. Then faces were finally placed to the two men, the two cowards who attacked Boston. Who attacked America. And then things got worse. The city went under siege. We were told we couldn’t leave our homes. Boston became a war zone with shootouts and bombs exploding in our neighborhoods. Some of our brave police officers were hurt or killed. The city was hurting. WE were hurting. Then the men and women of our brave city came together. One of the cowards was killed and the other on the run was captured. Boston won. We cheered. We prayed for Boston. We still pray for those who lost their lives. We pray for those still in hospitals. But they gave us strength. And the entire world learned what Boston Strong meant.

I’ve always been a proud Bostonian. And Boston has been a major part of my life and a major part of the stories I have told on T-blawg all these years. I am no hero. I am no victim. I’m still just a guy from Boston with a lot of pride, living a crazy life and trying to entertain the world one T-pisode at a time. So I wanted to do my part. As we try to get back to normal here in Boston. Here in the good ol’ USA. I wanted to share some of my past Boston T-pisodes. There are so many but I think these really capture this past week. Really show what the world has seen about Boston, it’s people, it’s city, it’s teams, it’s heart and Marathon Monday.

I wanted to once again share this T-vlawg about Monday’s tragedies and “MY” Marathon Monday/Patriots Day tradition that I put up the day after the Marathon this week.

Here are thirteen of my favorite things about Boston especially number 5.

Last year’s “Ode to Spring in Boston” and Marathon Monday. A poem T style. 

We both went against and embraced all of these Boston stereotypes from my “Boston Law” T-pisode this week and I’m damn proud of every citizen of Boston!

My most recent tattoo and #9 on the list was for Boston. So many people have asked me if I just got my Boston Compass Rose tattoo because of this week. I expect a lot of Boston and Boston Strong tattoos on the skin of my fellow Bostonians real soon.

Both of my “Boston’s Most Hottest & Kinda Famous Women” lists are two of the biggest Boston related searches on the internet because my city has the most amazing women on the planet and all of them took to social media this week to show their love and support for Boston! All of them!

With all of our teams giving the city and fans tributes I had to once again share some of my “Epic Game Moments.” Our teams get us through some tough times here in Boston. Notice the very last “Epic Game Moment” I share from a past Marathon Monday? And to quote what David Ortiz said in Fenway Park the day after the capture “This is our FUCKING city!”

Like I said in the T-vlawg video above, I never knew that tucking my Red Sox hat low would become something when I first started T-blawg. Never knew it would become the “T-blawg Pose.” But I always take that as not only a nod to T-blawg but also a nod to Boston whether someone was doing it with a Boston team hat or not. Every time I see someone do it or send me a pic, it tugs at my heart a little. And now it will mean that much more. Here is a collection of the “T-blawg Pose” as a salute to Boston.

A lot of people around the country know me only through T-blawg and immediately thought of me this week. You all thought of T-blawg and how I am most likely your main view into all things Boston. Thank you for that honor. So I shared a lot of videos and Boston photos on my Facebook page to give you all an idea of what was happening in Boston. Both the good and the bad.

I also shared some of my personal photos from Marathon Monday and the days that followed on my Instagram. I felt I had to do it even though it crushed me to see my city like this. But it is a digital recording of the week that changed Boston.

I have said it so many times before this week and I WILL say it so many times after this week. I LOVE Boston. It is MY city. But this week we were all Bostonians. If T-blawg has been your main source for all things Boston before this week then I want to say thank you. Boston thanks you. I really thank you. I’m here to entertain and tell my stories. This week was one of those stories that will stay with me forever. I don’t know how it has or will change me yet but I just know I will forever be Boston Strong. My friends & family will forever be Boston Strong. My city and everyone in it will forever be Boston Strong. Because Boston is, was and will always be the greatest city in the world.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Wait. I’m supposed to settle for this just so I can say I’m married? Get the fuck outta here kid.

As a single man at my age I get a lot of “T, when are you going to settle down?” Like according to some imaginary clock I’m supposed to be all settled down by now with a wife, 2.5 kids, a dog, a cat, a gerbil, 2 cars and a house in the suburbs with a big yard and a pool so I can have cookouts every Sunday after tee ball or some shit. Really? That’s how it works huh? Well shit I had no idea. Thanks for letting me know fuckers. I’m kidding! Not really. The problem with all these people asking me about when I’m going to settle down is they really don’t know what settle down actually means. Before you ask ol’ T over here if I’m ready to settle down I need you to ask yourself first “Do I even know what the fuck settle down is? Am I really asking T when he is going to settle down or am I asking him if he’s ready to settle?” OH. THERE IT IS! There’s the rub. Settle down? No. You’re asking me if I’m ready to settle. And there’s a difference.

A lot of people, both single and in relationships don’t like to talk about settling or settling down because most do not know the difference between the two. But I do. Settling down is different for everyone. Settling down is meeting the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and going off to live wherever you want doing whatever the hell it is the two of you want to do. Regardless of the “picture perfect” scenario so many people supposedly share that I described above. Now settling? Well that is you telling me that I have to do what you did by grabbing some chick and just getting married and having babies without falling in love. Without finding my partner in life. Maybe you found your soul mate and settled down. Or maybe you just found someone to settle with. I can tell the difference. Maybe you can. Maybe you can’t. That’s a debate for another day. All I’m saying is, I never “just settled” for anything in my entire fucking life. So I sure as hell WILL NOT just settle when it comes to the rest of my fucking life! My future. My happiness. Are you fucking crazy kid?! Stop it. Am I ready to settle down? Abso-fucking-lutely. My oats are sewn. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. Fuck I even took a T-blawg Pose pic while I was there baby! But will I settle? Oh hell no. I want to find the woman of my dreams and have little evil T babies one day. But if that never happens, then I will continue to walk this world on my own doing what I do to my very death. I am perfectly content with that over just settling. I give you my word. And my word is everything. Written or spoken.

“T, when are you going to settle down?” When I have found the reason that makes me love and want to settle down. That’s it. Because I will not settle. My life is pretty fucking awesome as is. Until that day when a woman makes it even more awesome and I am lucky enough to make her life pretty awesome too? Then I will keep the pace and will never settle. I am not one for mediocrity. I am not one to just be content. But I am also at the point I think where I have done everything I needed to do as a single man. So if I get that beautiful, funny, smart, caring, giving reason to settle down then I will settle down. If not, I got about a million reasons to not just settle. So you don’t need to ask me or any other single person when they are going to settle down anymore. Because now you know the difference between settling and settling down. Once again, thank me later.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Listen to the words. This is the stuff a grown man can do. You on another level? Started from the bottom? Stop it. This is how I roll. Grown man shit son!

“30 Something” -Jay-Z

This is not a T-pisode. By now you all know those go up on Mondays yo. Like clockwork. 176 weeks straight and counting. But I’m in the writing zone and wanted to throw something up on the site tonight. Live from the land of T. Boston!

The last 2 weeks have been super busy for me. Lots going on. Things that remind me that my life is something special. Something unique. In the last 2 weeks everything that makes up my life definitely came to the forefront. The last person of my grandparents generation passed away. My family’s first generation in East Boston. The last tie to that generation and an Eastie life that had me reminisce and remind me why family and your past is so important. Then an Easter holiday spent with my family. New material was submitted to Hollywood. Huge projects at the office day job made me clock some hours boy. I held one of my closest friend’s newborn baby girl in her new house. I went to 3 Bruins games and 1 Celtics game. With some good friends, missed family & cool ladies. Bought my first season tickets ever. The Patriots. Treated my parents to a night out in my Fenway hood. Booked a trip to Los Angeles. And an upcoming Red Sox game/Marathon Monday celebration this Monday. All this while I’ve trained for Tough Mudder and went 50 days on a routine without drinking booze!

Family. Friends. Boston. Health. Money. Fun. Writing. Hollywood. Eastie. Hard work. Discipline. Wins. Losses. Laughs. Focus. This is my life. Every single day. I don’t know anyone else who has a life like this. But I’ll take it. Damn I’ll take it all.

“Have You Seen Her”

One bro can totally be an asshole to another bro. As long as he knows you’re the guy behind T-blawg.

It is well documented that men can be assholes. I mean just go back and look at T-blawg. I have had my fair share of being an asshole. It’s what us men do. It comes naturally to us like the way crazy comes natural for women. Don’t deny it. It’s a fact. So I’m taking my “Bro Code” there. There isn’t going to be anything nice about this one. This chapter is a dark one. There are times that bros just become assholes. Sometimes without thinking. Sometimes it’s planned. But sometimes it’s just downright necessary for a man to be an asshole. Hopefully you use your assholeness only when it is required but here are the times when every bro gets to just be an asshole. I present the “Bro Asshole Code.”

Getting drunk…to get stupid
Hey sometimes a guy wants to get drunk and do something stupid. Get drunk and hook up with the slutty chick in the bar. Get drunk and beat down that douchebag that bumped into you earlier. Get drunk and do the Running Man in the middle of the dance floor thinking you are the greatest dancer of all time! It’s ok. Do it. You are the asshole tonight.

“k”
Mad at her? Let her text. A lot. Then just wait and send back a simple yet lonely and somehow offensive to women “k” and watch how pissed she gets dude. Just be ready for no sex. For a little while. And you are an asshole, k?

Making her late for a change
Sometimes a woman will make you late to things because she can. Oh yes. They all play this little game. So when it’s her “bestie’s” or “twinsie’s” birthday or its time to meet her parents or whatever the hell it is, take your time bro. Fall asleep. Pretend you’re choking on a roast beef sandwich. Whatever. Time to make her late and teach her a lesson. She’ll probably stab you in your sleep but it will be totally worth it. Not really.

Beating up her ex
Again, walk away until you can. Be the bigger man. Try not to fight if you can. But every once in a while you just have to throw her ex a beating and put the fear of God into the kid because you just don’t like him. Just make sure you win. And win big for assholes everywhere.

Revenge
Every once in a while as a man you want revenge. Revenge on your enemy. Revenge on your ex. Revenge on a total stranger because you’re crazy like that bro. We’re men. We plot. We plan. We get angry. We get revenge. Just make sure you hide the body out of state dude. Wear gloves. Have an alibi.

“Your daddy failed you. Not me honey.”
Stop taking shit for what her daddy couldn’t or wouldn’t do for her. You are your own man and your relationship has nothing to do with the one she has/had with her father. Stand up for yourself bro. Maybe even punch her dad too. I don’t know.

Punking a dude
If a dude is talking shit anywhere. At the gym. At work. At the bar. In traffic. Online. Wherever. Punk him. Just with words. Show him you are the more intelligent bro and you are better with words. Put him in his place. And if all else fails just say to him “Say hi to your mother for me.” Boom. Punked.

Not buying her that thing she’s been hinting at forever
Fuck that bag! Fuck those red bottom shoes!! Fuck that watch!!! She deleted the last 3 episodes of “Sons of Anarchy” off the DVR to make room for “The Bachelor” dude! Friggin’ tell her ass “You lose! You get nothing. Good day sir.”

Explaining how Disney lied to her as a little girl
She’s not a princess. You are no Prince Charming bro. You just scratched your ass and sniffed your fingers. Reality check her ass! Tell her she isn’t a princess. Stop being delusional honey. Guaranteed she sets your old baseball cards on fire though.

Banging her friend
Just make sure you’re broken up first idiot.

No response at all text
Only thing worse than the “k” reply text? No response at all. And such a dick move too.

Busting your bro’s whipped balls
If your boy is completely whipped by his woman? I mean completely. Like in every way possible? Then be an asshole to him until his sack grows back and you at least get your boy back for one night only. Bust his balls until her cries. Fuck him. He brought this on himself!

My seats are better
THIS is the one time you are allowed to be a one-upper. If you are at the same game as your bro and you have better seats then it is your bro responsibility to be an asshole and let him know it. Take pics from your seats and send them to him. Boom. You are quite the asshole sir. But at least your seats are better.

Cutting the line
Real men don’t wait in lines. Whether you know the doorman or you are willing to pay bucks to cut a line? Do it. Cut that line. Be the big asshole that walked by everyone else in line, smiling and totally owned that shit just because you could. But don’t do it every time. Because then you stop being an asshole and you become a douchebag. Don’t be that guy bro.

So there you have it. The dark side of Bro Code! The “Bro Asshole Code.” Every guy can and should be an asshole on the occasion. It’s ok. Just don’t abuse your asshole powers bro. No one likes a total asshole. But a part time asshole is cool. Now save this and follow it you asshole you.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Arianny Celeste & Brittney Palmer both

I still do my best not to bring the streets into the office and throw someone a Boston beat down daily

One thing I rarely talk about in my T-pisodes is my day job. I mean let’s stop shitting ourselves here people, in all honesty it’s my career until I am able to flip my movie & tv scripts for a living. But I don’t mind it. I actually like it. It more than pays the bills. I’ve been in the industry for some time now so I have built a pretty good network and acquired a shit ton of knowledge & experience. And well, I’m pretty fucking good at what I do. How I got here has been a journey. One hell of an epic T tale if I do say so myself. In my earlier days in Corporate America, I did a lot of crazy shit. Dumb shit. I always worked hard but my “street” way of life and bad attitude followed me into the office during those early days. I didn’t just burn bridges, I blew them up. I masterminded schemes that ended my enemies’ careers. I banged my way through on the occasion. I even tried to beat up a boss or two. But eventually, like at most things in my life I smarten up. Those dumb Corporate America T days are far behind me. However, on my way up to where I am today I learned a lot about business acumen, money, politics & character. The four driving forces of my career. Here are some things I’ve learned and will share with you all right now. They apply to all industries. Trust T.

T has never been one to kiss ass and never will be. Don’t kiss ass, earn respect. My honesty has made me a commodity. Being honest makes people want to work with you. Make a promise and make sure you keep it. Don’t know the answer? Don’t lie. Tell them you don’t know but will find out. Immediately. Set expectations, then fucking over deliver. Surround yourself with good people and trust them. The workplace has no room for drama. Share the responsibility. That means don’t just take credit for you. That also means you have to step up and take the blame when things go bad. Don’t point fingers but be firm and get answers. Two words…due diligence. Thank me later there. You are NEVER above any job or project. Big or small. Dress two levels above your pay grade. Always. Smile and shake hands. Make eye contact like you’re on a fucking first date! Never stop taking classes, trainings or going to seminars. You have to because you need to stay sharp and know that they are five people trying to take your job. Be careful who you share your personal life with! You think the people I work with know about T-blawg? My scripts? My dating life?! They’ve never seen one tattoo under my suits, ties & button ups. I’m a businessman yo! Your salary should be double your age by the time you’re 25 years old. You should be making 6 figures by the time you’re 30 plus. Don’t eat where you shit, no office sex! Never give a friend or family member a job where you are their boss. Refer them, give them a recommendation, pull some strings elsewhere or in another department but you’ll regret working with them every day if you hire them. No one in Human Resources is your friend. Not everyone has the same personality as you, some people do take things personally so you have to adapt to their personality to make sure you work well together. Not everyone has to be your friend but you damn well better be the bigger person and find a way to work well with them. Know how to write a decent fucking email. Always delegate responsibilities when you are out of the office. Don’t assume “someone will take care of it.” Take your boss to lunch, your boss’s boss to lunch, your staff to lunch, your team to lunch and your co-workers to lunch. At that lunch make sure you break the ice, build rapport, find a common ground, and then talk shop. Postmortem. The postmortem meeting is such an underrated tool. Always have a postmortem meeting once a project is complete. Never quit a company out of anger and never without another job lined up. That is just foolish. Sometimes you outgrow a position but know your options and list pros & cons before doing anything rash. Never let a person you work with be the reason you leave a company. Know your worth and make sure the people in the bigger offices in the floors above you know it too. Make sure everyone in the company knows your name and has a face to go with it. Keep your desk clean. Know where everything is at all times so you don’t get flustered when someone needs it yesterday. And finally… never ever doubt yourself. You earned that spot. If you doubt yourself then everyone else will doubt you too.

So there you have it. Everything that T has learned in all his years in Corporate America. Well not everything, but you have the core stuff right there people. Do with it what you want but don’t say T never did anything for you. I’m not just all Bro Codes, Boston and dating people. T-blawg is my path to the world, if I can help a bunch of strangers that enjoy this site then I’ll sure as hell do what I can. Once again, I don’t know everything. I’m not better than anyone else. I’m not Mr. Perfect. I’m just a dude living my life and sharing what I’ve learned in this life. I love walking in these shoes. Because hot damn, they fit so well.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Happy Easter everybody! Enjoy your day!

Kate Upton

Give me the dark hair. Bright eyes. Pink lips. Curves. Hell…throw in the glasses too. And I’m good.

Arianny Celeste

Man I miss this guy. But damn it feels good to grow up.

I work out. She wears heels. I cook. My kitchen. This is how it goes down. That’s all I’m saying. Grown man shit.

I’m not sure if this will be on my tombstone. I mean I really like boobs too.

When I was in high school I wrote for the school newspaper and two local newspapers as well. This allowed me to receive a scholarship to take part in an international arts program before my senior year. I then got into college as a journalism major. About 3 weeks into college life I found out that journalists got paid shit and I changed my major half way through freshman year. No way was I going to college to come out poor. Hell I went in poor. But one of the assignments I had to do for a class was to write my obituary. I was 18 years old when I did it. That was a long ass time ago. I guess being influenced by rappers like Tupac, Biggie & Jay-Z, I like to think of T-blawg as a recording of my life. Like gangster rappers who rap about their lives and deaths, I wanted to take another crack at my obituary right here on T-blawg. I fully expect my friends and family to take this T-pisode and use it as my obituary some day. If they don’t, I swear to Baby Jesus I will come back and haunt each and every one of them. I’m a ball buster alive, can you imagine what I would do as a ghost?! I present my obituary.

T was born an awesome little baby. So awesome that even though this little baby almost died at birth he looked death in the eye and said “I’m not dying. I just got here. Go fuck yourself.” And that’s when the world first got to see exactly how T rolled. Growing up in the tough Boston neighborhood of “Eastie” where everyone had a story. Had a struggle. T’s was different. A lot more struggle led to one hell of a different story. That story was well documented on the website T-blawg for 5 years which later became “T-blawg The TV Series” which ran on the air for an amazing 26 seasons. Breaking the record of “The Simpsons” as the longest running television show of all time. People still watch the show in syndication in over 42 countries. The phrase “Always take it there” became the most quoted quote in the history of history. T gave his friends, family, writing, women and the city of Boston his all. He especially gave the women his all. As T would say “Pun intended.” He loved Boston. Some say “T is Boston.” That is why Fenway Park was renamed “T Park” in 2021. The world famous “T-blawg Pose” of T’s handsome, half covered face permanently etched on the Green Monster is also permanently etched in the hearts of millions. No…billions. Especially the hearts of women. After single-handedly saving Hollywood, T went on to solve the world hunger problem. Just because he could. Then finally after his 8^th failed marriage and 12^th evil, hellspawn son, T met the love of his life. Sheila Kunis-Brady. The granddaughter of Mila Kunis and Tom Brady. 42 years T’s junior. But he was perfectly fine with that. Even though he was an elderly man at this point, his super sperm mixed with the powerful Kunis-Brady lady eggs produced by his wife, T finally created 3 perfect human beings. The greatest actor of all time winning 17 Oscars in just 5 movies; the most famous female model of all time who managed to combine Victoria’s Secret, Playboy & Sports Illustrated forming the mega model company with the weirdest name ever “Sports Boy Secret;” and the greatest athlete of all time who played for the Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins and Patriots bringing 45 championships to Boston sealing its fate as the greatest city of all time! Finally, being 137 years old and breaking one last record as the oldest man alive, T rested on his deathbed. He asked to meet with all of the great grandchildren of all the women he dated and did him wrong from his past. One by one the little children entered his room. As each of them approached T he whispered in their ears “Your great grandmother was a slampig.” And as they each walked away crying T had enough strength to giggle. After telling 321 little kids that their great grandmothers were sluts, T asked for his Red Sox hat. His wife still beautiful and somewhat young handed it to him. As she reached in T told her “Never marry anyone else or I will cut you.” He tucked his Sox hat low one last time and faded to black. T took it there to the very end.

My obituary.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

As my phone blows up on this Saturday night and I ignore them staying on my good behavior kick. I’ll let DMX & Sisqo take this one.

“What They Really Want?”

Remember kiddies, no one likes a hater. No one.

“Hi Hater”

I’m still adjusting to the top. Must be the altitude. 

“Hate It Or Love It”

I’ll let old school Puffy and bald R. Kelly take this one.

“Satisfy you”

Elliott isn’t real Pete! You’re imagining him! You stupid son of a bitch.

Wait…what? Is this T-pisode going to be about smoking heroin??? Oh hell no. What’s wrong with you people? No. This is going to be about women of course. Women in this case are the proverbial dragon. After I came off of my now infamous dating sabbatical of the Fall of 2012, I had a few women that I had some interest in. I was interested because one, I just came off a damn dating sabbatical. Pay attention! Two, I’m a guy so I’m always horny. Or hungry. Or both. And three, not going to lie, I was kind of lonely. So I had some decisions to make. My pipeline was absolutely empty and I promised myself to never ever have another chick pipeline again. Because doing so would only cause me to end up down the same roads that I didn’t want to go down ever again. I had to get back out and start meeting women again. So I did. Now here’s the rub. After taking everything I learned during my dating sabbatical meeting women just wasn’t the same for me. Because I didn’t want what I used to get. It was difficult. I was more alert. More selective. I met a few but none that really wowed me. I also had some “existing” women that I knew for a while that I mistakenly thought I had potential with. These new women and the existing women caused me to realize I was “Chasing The Dragon.”

Unlike a woman, a guy tends to not over analyze everything when it comes to the opposite sex. Which can be a good thing. A guy, unlike a woman sometimes tends to not think at all because we as men are usually stupid 9 out of 10 times when it comes to the opposite sex. Men are stupid. Women are crazy. That’s a fact. Regardless of age and experience, we are still stupid. I admit that. So like a dope, I tried to make something out of nothing with some of these women. I had new young ones on the hook that I didn’t want. New ones who were too easy to get. New ones who showed me their crazy red flags a mile away. The pre-dating sabbatical T would’ve had some fun with these girls. Lots o’ fun. The post-dating sabbatical T wanted nothing to do with them. NOTHING. So I walked away. Some kept trying. They were “Chasing The Dragon” with me. Since I didn’t want them that put me in a situation where I was trying to get dates with women who obviously weren’t that into me. The existing women. I was trying to make something out of nothing. Texts weren’t returned. Date ideas I suggested were not reciprocated. The flirting wasn’t returned. I was clearly “Chasing The Dragon” with them. It just wasn’t there. I was by no means desperate. I just wanted to hang out with a good girl. I even broke a cardinal rule of mine and reached out to one of the girls I used to date. Which is a T no-no! You can never go back! I snapped out of it and stopped trying with her. The one that kept coming up with excuses? I stopped asking her out too. The one that didn’t return the texts? I stopped texting THAT one. Did this make these women jerks? No. They did to me what I did to the girls I wasn’t interested in. Should they just have come out and said they weren’t interested in me like that? Absolutely. Just like I should’ve told those new girls I wasn’t interested in them. Instead, we all wasted our time “Chasing The Dragon.” Get it yet?

Dating doesn’t get any easier the older you get. Hell no it doesn’t. Meeting people definitely does though. Because you know exactly who you are. You’ve lived through a lot. You are comfortable socializing anywhere, anytime, with anyone. That comes with age. That’s the easy part. But after the initial meeting, when it comes to the dating part? No. That’s the hard part. And it gets harder and harder the older you get as a single person. Because you are SO stuck in your ways. You know EXACTLY who you are. You’ve been through it all. You’ve seen it all. This actually unknowingly sabotages the part between the meeting and the dating. I now have to work on that area. I never had to before. It’s a new gray area that I’m not that familiar with. But I’m glad I can acknowledge that and work on it. Because that should be better than “Chasing The Dragon.” You have to know what you want and you shouldn’t have to chase after it. Because if you don’t know what you want, then you’ll never catch it. I went out and bought a dragon painting. I placed it on my wall as a reminder to never “Chase The Dragon” again. I hope it serves that purpose! If it doesn’t, I either better start watching Bruce Lee movies or learn some fucking karate now.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

A lot of you dudes are reaping the benefits from the women that I dated before they met you. Because when you ask them where they learned that they’ll say “T taught me.” Thank me now fellas. Thank me now.

Listen to this great song then go to 5:30 in and see what Chris Rock is talking about. He means me. Not Kanye.

“Blame Game”

These two assholes

For a huge part of my life I’ve been Barney Stinson. Well actually Barney Stinson is me. Well how I used to be. I can claim that because the things I’ve done in my life happened way before “How I Met Your Mother” even aired its first pilot episode. Bro Code Barney? Yeah that’s me. Awesomeness? Yeah that’s me too. The suits? Yeah I rocked them. Being legendary? Are you serious bro?! I have over 170 legendary stories!!! They’re called….wait for itttt……T-pisodes. But there have always been two big differences between T and Barney. One…I don’t lie like Barney does. I’m actually the polar opposite with the hard refreshing truth working for me with the ladies like the way lies work for Barney. And two…Barney is a gay married man in real life. T is…well was just like the guy you’ve read about for the last 3 plus years on T-blawg. Except now I’ve grown up. And now unfortunately, I think I’m friggin’ turning into Ted Mosby. Wait, what?! Let me explain.

I hate Ted Mosby. I think he is the dumbest dude character on television. He is wimpy, whiny and a disgrace to all real male TV characters like Tony Soprano, Eric Cartman, Jax Teller, Homer Simpson, Larry from “Three’s Company,” George Costanza, The Fonz, Johnny Drama, Spike the Vampire when he was evil not good, Pacey Witter, all the dudes from “It’s Always Sunny,” Zack Morris…etc. Ted Mosby is a damn pussy. Robin is a useless character. Lily & Marshall are cool because they’re like every married couple I know. Except they actually still hang out with their single friends while mine don’t. I have to GO hang out with them! Fuckers. I keed!!! Not really. Back to Ted Mosby. Now Ted goes on and on in every damn episode about how he can’t meet a good woman. Every episode! The rub is we all know he finally does meet a good woman because that is the entire point of the show. But his journey there is an annoying, spineless one. One that I am trying to avoid. Unlike Ted, I don’t whine. I go after what I want and whether I succeed or fail I still manage to learn a lesson and turn it into a funny tale. That’s how I’m still Barnyish. But like Ted, I do date and try to no avail it seems sometimes. And like him I’m starting to think I may have met her already and didn’t realize it? I’m not sure. Maybe T-blawg is my “sitting on the couch telling MY kids all the things I’ve been through before I met their mom” opening sitcom show monologue or some shit? I don’t even know at this point. I just know that my ego will not let me become Ted Mosby! Even Barney is starting to grow up and wants to be with a good chick! WTF?! THAT’S ME!!! I’M BARNEY!!! Not Ted Mosby. Even writing his name annoys the shit out of me. Ted stupid Mosby.

What did I learn in this T-pisode people? Absolutely nothing. Well maybe I learned that I should stop watching “How I Met Your Mother” because it’s starting to make me angry like LOST did. But just like LOST I’m committed because the end is near and I see things through to the end once I commit. Seriously I do. And I heard “HIMYM” is ending next season. FINALLY! I hope they kill Ted Mosby. Then I’ll take his wife. Become his kids’ daddy. Teach that son of a bitch. But all crazy talk aside, I can’t become the guy that dates and dates with no big pay out at the end. That can’t be T’s destiny. I’ve been through too much when it comes to this dating shit. When it comes to women. When it comes to life. If Ted Mosby can finally find his one true love then so can’t T. When “T-blawg The TV Series” is out and crushing all other shows in its timeslot, the last episode will be me marrying the mother of my future children and fading to black. Boom. That story will have been told. On to my next great adventure. Some day. Until then, I’ll keep dating and keep hating Ted Mosby I guess. That fucker.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Ladies. I know a lot of guys don’t dance. But T does. And T is a phenomenal dancer. Phenomenal. Don’t believe me? If this shit comes on in the club and I’m there….watch the magic happen.

“Check Your Coat”

My ink is on the inside and the outside. Think about it. You’ll get it in a minute or so.

At this point I think you all know that ol’ T is a tattoo guy. I have talked about tats since I started T-blawg. I have them. I love them. I judge them. They are a part of me. Who I am. Where I’ve been. What I believe in. I’ve been asked a whole bunch of times on here, on Twitter and on Instagram about my tats. I’ve shared some pics. I’ve told people what some of them are. But I have yet to really get into my tattoos and their individual history on T-blawg. Now it’s time. So I’ll finally share the awesomeness of my tattoos and their stories right here, right now! All damn 9 of them. Yes…9.

Tattoo #1: Tribal Design On My Left Shoulder
YES. T has a tribal tat. Judge away. I would. But you have to understand that tribal tattoos were all the rage back in my day. No I don’t have a stupid tribal armband. Like I said, it’s a simple tribal design on my left shoulder. It was my first one when I was 19 years old. And I’ll never cover it up. It has history.

Tattoo #2: “T” On My Right Shoulder
Of course I have a friggin’ “T” tatted on me! It’s my damn name and it’s awesome. It’s also an easy way to recognize my body when all my enemies from my past finally execute their epic revenge! Haters.

Tattoo #3: Lion Head On Inside Of My Left Bicep
I’m a Leo. What you can’t tell??? Stop it. I’m not into stupid horoscopes. That’s chick shit. But I do believe people take on the characteristics of their Zodiac signs. And honestly, you can’t find someone more Leo than T. Go ahead. Try. I had this lion’s head tat done with each piece of the mane representing the people closest to me at the time. It means a lot to me. All my tats do. Yours should too yo.

Tattoo #4: Leo Symbol On Inside Of My Right Bicep
What?! I said I was a Leo! This isn’t your typical Leo symbol either. I had it done to curve along the inside of my arm. It’s custom. Grown men get shit customized. Also, are you noticing the symmetry of the order in which I got my tats yet? Maybe I should get “OCD” or “Crazy As Fuck” tatted on me next?

Tattoo #5: Sun Over Trach Scar
I have mentioned my epic birth on here before right? Of course I have. That story has been told. So one year as a birthday present to myself I got a tattoo to cover up my little baby tracheotomy scar. I had the operation as a baby and over the years it got really small and moved down to my clavicle. But I made peace with that scar and wanted to put it behind me. So I got the brightest thing in the solar system, made it black and covered it up. Done. Plus chicks dig it when they see the top of it sticking out a little when I rock a button up shirt. Chicks dig tats. Oh yes they do. Scars too. T gets a classic win-win here.

Tattoos #6 & #7: Quotes On The Inside Of My Forearms
I’ll be honest. From this point on some crazy stuff with women caused me to pull triggers on my most recent tats. The tats themselves have nothing to do with the women. These are things I wanted on my body before I even knew them. But the pain and meditative state that you go into when sitting in the chair and getting inked is like a release and a way to get the remnants of the women out of my system. Sorry to get all T philosophical on your asses there. But like I said, I’m telling my tat tales. I got a Shakespeare quote from Twelfth Night on my right arm (“Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.”) because I’m a writer and ol’ Billy Shakes is the writer above all other writers in my eyes. On my left arm I got a Christian Larson quote (“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.”) my cousin & his wife gave to me on a birthday card asking me to be their daughter’s godfather. Both were done in courier font in one sitting because that is the font Hollywood uses on movie & TV scripts. I look down at both quotes and read them every damn time I’m hurting and need to pick myself back up again. They haven’t failed me yet.

Tattoo #8: My Pen Sword On The Outside Of My Right Forearm
You know the old saying “The pen is mightier than the sword” right? Well being a writer and being a guy who has gone through some shit and has and will kick some ass when necessary, I combined the two. I’m a rightie. I write rightie. I punch rightie. Last year I had my tattoo artist come up with a concept I gave him. It took two 3 hour sessions. The tattoo just came out straight nasty! It represents everything that I am, was and want to be. In ink.

Tattoo #9: The Boston Compass Rose On My Left Elbow
Number 3 on this list pretty much sums up why I got this tattoo. I wanted this tat for years. I had my tattoo guy come up with a variation on this Boston landmark. We went old school like a compass ripping off an old map with the sun shining through. And sitting in the north position is Boston. So I’ll always find my way home baby. This took a couple of sessions too. With a lot of heavy ink around the elbow. That gave a good burning sensation let me tell you! But now I finally have “Boston” somewhere on my body. This tattoo has a lot of sentimental value to me. It is without a doubt one of my favorite tats.

So there! I finally talked about all my tattoos. Some of you asked. Some of you didn’t. But now you all know. Am I done getting inked up? No. Right now I’m kind of a big deal working in corporate America so I hide my tats under fancy button ups and suits. When I’m able to make a living writing scripts or with T-blawg the TV Series I’ll definitely get a lot more. Full sleeves. Back. Whatever. Like I said, I love tattoos. They are a part of who I am. They tell my stories even when I’m not talking or writing. And I like to believe I’m a good storyteller in every way possible.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

I love “Game of Thrones.” But I love Khaleesi more. I would have the dragon lady’s babies.

Emilia Clarke “AKA Khaleesi from Game of Thrones”

Not quite guys. You’re supposed to hide your faces. 

Go to about 1:30 in.

“True Romance”

My favorite flick of them all.

Dane Cook is the king of douchebags. Tell him I said so. See what happens.

Unfunny and not from Boston. You’re from Arlington dickhead. There’s a world of difference.

I wear this to the office on casual Friday every week

So let T do a little recap here for you all. Because I write these T-pisodes a bunchel at a time. Yes I made that word up. Bunchel. When you do the shit that T does then you can make up words too. I want to keep these T-pisodes in chronological order with my life and this is pretty damn current. I promised myself at the beginning of 2012 that I would become a better man. That I would try to date more “good” ladies. That I would push my writing harder. That I would kick ass with my “day time” career. That I would see the world even if it was on my own or with a girl I really liked at the time and now hates me just because I gave her too much too soon. That I would foster the relationships of those I cared about the most. That I would become more cultured with cooking, languages, art, history, traveling. That I would try new things and say yes to things I previously said no to like Jim Carrey in that awful “Yes Man” movie. And that I would push myself to my physical limits. That last part just happened as I write this. Sore. But proud. Because T is now a Spartan. Oh yes. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Let me give you a little background into my physical life history. My genetics suck. Oh yeah. I’m Italian. I’m built like a box. I’m wide and all upper body. My parents and grandparents are/were not the healthiest people. But I was and I am still healthy as hell. I’m thankful for that. I was a small kid. A chubby teenager. And then at 19 I became the typical East Boston gym meathead. Except I wasn’t stupid and never took steroids. But I worked out like a beast. Every day. A bodybuilding lifestyle. Protein shakes and supplements all day baby. I tanned. I got tattoos. In my late 20s I moved into downtown Boston and my lifestyle had changed. I no longer could put “The Routine” first and everything else second. So I changed up the way I worked out. Gave up most of the supplements. I got into Muay Thai. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. And most recently, dirty boxing. I run a lot now too. I’m a more diverse gym rat now. And I think I’m a trained killer! Seriously. Come at me bro! Anyway, this past Spring I decided as part of my choice to grow up and become a better man on my “Pursuit Of Happiness” to get involved with all those trendy but insane Tough Mudder/Beast/Warrior Dash/Spartan races. I said “Why not?! I’m a crazy son of a bitch. Crazy sons of bitches do those insane races. I’m in!” And I started my training for Tough Mudder. Six weeks in I got “Kidney Stoned!” The fuck right? I took 5 weeks off from training because of that. I missed the Tough Mudder race but heard about the Spartan in Fenway Park. Boom. Game back on! I changed up my routine and did a lot of full body interval training. More cardio. And more dirty boxing. I dropped the heavy weights and did more reps. I came down 15lbs in body weight and I was lean, mean and ready for Sparta! I was so pumped for the race and it was in my own backyard and one of my favorite places on the planet, Fenway Park. I was going to compete on the same field as the Boston Red Sox. Every Boston kid’s dream.

November 18^th, 2012. As I lined up for my heat at the starting line I felt the adrenaline take over. The “scary” adrenaline. It was that same type of adrenaline I used to get when I was about to get into a fight when I was younger. It was that same kind of adrenaline that took over my body when I knew I was going to stop thinking and go into berserker rage old T-Dog style. I hadn’t felt that way in a very long time. I was actually kind of scared. I forgot that guy still existed. I think I just put him deep down inside my psyche. But as my heat got called and I lined up he took over. The clock ticked down and before I knew it I had already completed about half of the obstacles, did about 150 burpees and ran inside most of Fenway Park before I calmed down and came to. I finally came to my senses. Young T-Dog left and I was standing in Fenway Park a grown man, catching my breath and I was awestruck with where I was and what I was doing. I slowed it down a little from there. Not because my body really had to, but because this was a once in a lifetime event. You better believe I was going to enjoy it. I did the rest of the obstacles and shit ton more burpees as a regular guy doing a Spartan in America’s oldest ballpark. I got banged up a little because I turned the switch off. But I was ok with that. I touched every part of Fenway Park. I did burpees on the red clay against the Green Monster. I felt the dings on the Monster from all the line drives. I smelled the piss where Manny used to pee during games behind the scoreboard. I sat in the dugout in every player’s seat. It was amazing. I became a Spartan the best way possible. As a grown man inside Fenway Park. You just can’t beat that. You just can’t beat becoming a better person with age. Trust T on this one people. Push yourself. Strive for more. Try something new. Become a fucking better person for yourself and no one else! Thank me later.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

And she was in Boston’s own “The Town”

Rebecca Hall