There’s a movie coming out this Friday. “Youth in Revolt”. It’s about a wimpy teenage boy Nick Twisp who decides to create a bad boy supplementary persona named Francois Dillinger to win his dream girl. While this movie is bringing supplementary persona to the forefront, I have been a supporter of this movement for years. I have had many supplementary personas. Each was given their own name. Hell, it got to the point where I actually thought I might’ve been bipolar or at least suffered from multiple personality disorder. Whatever. All I’m saying is we all have at least one supplementary persona. The person you turn into each day to go to work when the real you hates your job, AKA “work you”. The person you turn into for first dates or your “dating representative”. The person you choose to be when you go out to either get yourself laid or drunk or both, the “party you”. Well this post is about my new 2010, mature, mysterious, interesting foreign ladies man supplementary persona that I am anxious to introduce to the world.
Enter Antonio Tomasino Manicotti.
As a mere baby, Antonio Tomasino Manicotti was abandoned by his parents in the hills of Sicily only to be found and raised by a pack of wild Sicilian donkeys. These animals are wild yet tender lovers. This is where Antonio Tomasino Manicotti learned to love. At the age of 10, Antonio Tomasino Manicotti was found by a Sicilian pizza maker out in the hills looking for mushrooms. He raised Antonio Tomasino Manicotti and taught him the ways of handling the pizza dough until manhood. Antonio Tomasino Manicotti, with his world renown finger rolling was anxious to try his technique on the American woman. So he came to Boston by himself. In a gondola. It took him 17 months. His goal? To become filthy rich by opening his “Famous Finger Rolled Pizza” pizza parlors across the land and to make a beautiful woman his wife.
Where can you find Antonio Tomasino Manicotti? He frequents places where he knows beautiful women are sick of the same American men. It betters his odds. Look for the Italian man who barely speaks broken English at best. He loves to say Italian words twice like “Grazie. Grazie.” “Bella. Bella.” “Mangia. Mangia.” He mostly wears extra tight jeans which can only fit a single $20 bill (because he prefers it when ladies buy the drinks), a lambskin condom, a picture of his donkey family and his super skinny cell phone that he answers “Ello? Ello?” His smile? As intoxicating as his horrible English. His confidence? Higher than the wild donkey hills of Sicily. His charm? Almost as overwhelming as his homemade cologne. This is Antonio Tomasino Manicotti. This is my new supplementary persona.
Now I’m not saying this supplementary persona will thrive. But it just may be a welcomed change compared to the spiked hair, sparkling tight shirt wearing, broke faking until they make it, steroid addicted, nothing interesting to say supplementary personas that a lot of guys love to create and unleash like a relentless army on hopeless women on any given Saturday night. If anything, Antonio Tomasino Manicotti is one of a kind. So if you’re out and you run into Antonio Tomasino Manicotti, order him a shot of chilled sambucca, pull up a seat and listen to a story from the most interesting man to ever be raised in another country by donkeys and a pizza maker only to come to America in a gondola looking for love. You’ll at least get a laugh. And if you’re a beautiful woman interested in getting to know Antonio Tomasino Manicotti, don’t worry, he will find you. “Salud! Salud!”
Until next time. Always take it there.
Very funny. I can’t wait to see Antonio hang out with Nasty T!
Fill up my cup
Look at her dancing
just take it off
Let’s paint the town
We’ll shut it down
Let’s burn the roof
and then we’ll do it again
Here is my idea. Enter Tony “Labamba” Stugats, an orphan off the streets of Philly USA. He was taken in and raised by a Dominican couple in a triple decker. They made him control the stereo volume when ever the neighbors would call the cops and triple park cars in front if the house. Tony would get pushed around by a guy named “Trouble” who would come around and mess up his hair. Desperate to find a way to defend himself, Tony went to seek out an old retired and disgruntled wrestler by the name of “Broder”. At first Broder refused to train Tony but after seeing his skills dancing salsa and merengue in the streets , she thought she could work with him. Tony trained hard running miles to Kappy’s and back. After long and hard training, Tony felt like he was tough enough to defend himself against any thug who tried to destroy his hairdo. When Tony finally was confronted, he still got his butt kicked and hair all jacked up. Tony was devastated. He eventually left Philly to pursue a career in hair dressing in New Jersey. The End.
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