T-pisode 19: The Scene

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What is “The Scene”? “The Scene” is where you go out to. Who you hang out with. Who & what you see when you go out. And what you do when you are out with these people at certain places during certain days of the week and at certain times. Get it? No? Stay with me. “The Scene” gets built over a period of time in your life. It starts at the time you start going to under 21 clubs then until you either get a fake ID or when you turn 21 and it continues all the way through until whatever age you happen to be when you get married or stop going out altogether or drop dead. For some “The Scene” can go 5 years. For others it can go 25 years. You see, I have a love/hate relationship with “The Scene”. I’ve been on the scene since I was 17 years old. I’ve watched the city of Boston evolve with my age. From under 21 clubs & house parties. To college bars & clubs during the ecstasy/water bottle/glow stick days. To upscale restaurants and lounges as an adult. I’m older and wiser now and I’ve come to the realization when you know you should be getting out of “The Scene”. You know it’s time to get out of “The Scene” when you find yourself saying things like:

“The scene never changes. Same faces everywhere we go.”
You’ve come to the realization that you are sick of everybody you know. All they do is go out and get drunk every night. And you do too. If you’re seeing them, then they’re seeing you. Time to try new places. Or Match.com.

“I’m getting out of the scene.”
Yeah right. You say this every time you go out when you don’t get laid. You’re upset. And horny. It’s ok. But stop lying. You’ll be out again tomorrow night. Also, you may be an alcoholic.

“That dude is like 50! Why is he still on the scene?!”
You know this guy. He’s been going out for like 30 years. He dresses like he’s 24. Acts like he’s 18. Tries to convince 21-year-old girls he’s important so they’ll sleep with him. He loves the attention. If you’re friends with him, time to get out of the scene. Or make new friends. Because people are not only laughing at him, they’re laughing at you.

“That chick banged every dude on the scene.”
If you know this chick and have slept with her. It’s time to get out of the scene because other girls now know this and you have been marked. If you haven’t slept with her, then you are lame. But at least you don’t have herpes like your buddies. If you are this girl. Shame on you. Send me your number.

“She’s only 21?! She looks 35! Shit the scene messed her up good.”
She is that chick who banged every dude on the scene’s best friend. Do not talk to this girl. Do not hook up with her. And don’t be the sucker who dates her. She is damaged goods. Her only mission is to party. Hard. If you see her in the daylight, you’ll realize it’s time to retire from the scene.

“She/he only hooks up with people on the scene.”
The scene is a very incestuous crowd. A lot of people on the scene only hook up with other people on the scene. Don’t be one of those people. If you are already one of those people then there is no hope for you. And you haven’t seen the sun in years. Tanning beds don’t count either.

“Normal people don’t hang out on the scene.”
They really don’t. But they also don’t go out at all really either. These people go to work. To the gym. Watch tv for an hour each night. Read a little in bed. Then go to sleep. Every damn day! They sleep a full 8 hours. They have the occasional glass of wine. They are either always single without having sex or always in a relationship. Normal? Yes. Boring? Fuck yes. But these people are your only way out of the scene. And to be with one, you must become one. Tough call I know.

“I’m too old to be on the scene.”
This is the be all, end all realization statement that you are ready to retire from the scene. This is the epiphany moment when you start to see yourself, everybody and everything differently. It could happen at any time while on the scene. During a shot of patron. During sex on a toilet in the club’s bathroom. Talking to a drunk girl who just puked on you. Dodging a punch from some douche. Dancing when a song comes on and you don’t know who is singing. Or you do know the song because it’s the same song you danced to at your 7th grade dance. When you say this, it’s over. You’ll start to do things you never did before. The scene will start becoming smaller in your life until the point it is almost nonexistent. Congrats. You are officially ready to leave the scene.

Now just because you are starting to prepare for your life outside of “The Scene”, it doesn’t mean you can’t go out. Or your life is over. Or you have to get married and suffer in other ways altogether like your married friends. Oh no. All it means is that you are finally comfortable being you and you still don’t know what you want. But you now know what you don’t want. And that’s how it starts.

Until next time. Always take it there.



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