T-pisode 76: How T-Wood Save Hollywood

I’m breaking t-blawg form here. I want to write about something that isn’t the 3 paragraph style. Isn’t a usual yet T original top 10ish list. Isn’t about dating, women, Bro code, sports, Boston, social media, awesomeness, etc. I want to address something that is near and dear to me. And that is Hollywood. The movie biz. You see, I’m not only the most awesome blogger in the history of the whole entire internet. I’m not only a cool ass, sexy, Boston guy. I’m not only a social media maven. But I’m also a screenwriter. Not a paid screenwriter. I’ve been close to it a few times. Have some nibbles on my rod as I write this. Pun intended. But I’m still a screenwriter nonetheless. And as a screenwriter who has been in this game for a few years now, with an arsenal of movie & tv scripts and treatments, I have some serious opinions on the current horrible state of Hollywood and how to fix it. How? Well let me tell you! Hollywood, pay attention.

NO MORE SEQUELS!!!
A sequel for every damn movie that makes just over what it cost to make the original isn’t necessary Hollywood. A sequel should only be made if the writer, cast and crew will be able to continue the story and develop the characters. Don’t do it for an extra buck or two!

NO MORE REMAKES/REBOOTS!!!!
Hollywood likes a proven formula. A built-in audience. I get it. But for every “Dark Knight” there are 20 “A-Teams”. How do you not get this?! Try an original flick now and then.

WE NEED HOLLYWOOD EAST, HOLLYWOOD NEEDS BOSTON. SERIOUSLY.
Look at all the material coming out of Boston! Mystic River, The Fighter, The Town, The Social Network, The Departed, Paul Blart, 21, Fever Pitch, Grown Ups, Zookeeper, What’s Your Number?, Ted & Here Comes the Boom (filming right now) etc. Is this even a question? Forget about the economy, the current state of Hollywood and the first failed attempt at Hollywood East. This needs to happen. Get some major studios to throw in with some major Boston-based companies and form a group to get this thing going. ASAP.

TV NETWORKS NEED TO TAKE CHANCES
NBC is horrible. Must See TV is dead. CBS just spins off their shows. Fox is a junior reality show network. These channels need to take the chances that TNT & USA are learning from FX, HBO and SHOWTIME. Original material is out there, they just need the balls to make it.

PAID WRITERS NEED TO GET BACK TO REAL WRITING
Stop writing safe. Stop writing what you think Hollywood wants you to write. Write something amazingly original and grind until you convince the big wigs to produce. Hollywood needs you and all of you are already in. Remember that.

ACTORS NEED TO ACT, NOT BE CELEBRITIES
Get off of TMZ. Get off Twitter. Get out of the limelight. Act. The actor has been dead for a long time. The celebrity has been in control for too long. Go act your way to credibility again.

MOVIE TICKETS NEED TO BE CHEAPER!
Of course the cost to make movies has risen. So ticket prices must rise. Right. But asking audiences to pay insane prices for low quality movies will make them stay home and wait for the DVD, On-Demand or cable. Make a good movie and the people will pay. Duh.

DVDS MUST COME OUT MONTHS AFTER THE MOVIES. IT’S CALLED A GRACE PERIOD FOR A REASON.
The rush to put out a DVD weeks after the movie is in theaters is ridiculous. I want to want to buy the DVD because the movie was good enough for me to want to own. Not because the movie was mediocre and it’s now on the shelf at Target 2 weeks later.

STUDIOS NEED TO BE OPEN TO ORIGINAL MATERIAL. THIS IS A GIVEN!
Whether it’s from a current writer or somebody trying to break in, the “Not Listening to New Material Pitches” is horrible from both a business approach and shows that Hollywood is blind to the damage they are causing to the art form of great movie making. Listen to new pitches!!! Remember. There was a time when that franchise you have was an original idea pitched to you. Billions and billions of dollars ago. Stupid executive guy.

3D NEEDS TO GO AWAY. FAR, FAR AWAY.
I know it’s not. But how about we compromise. Only make a movie 3D if both the story and visual effects are equally great? Deal?

MAKE IT LAW: DIRECTORS CAN ONLY MAKE SPECIAL EFFECTS FILLED MOVIES ONLY IF THEY MAKE GOOD MOVIES FIRST
Show the audience you can make a good movie first with just a good script, decent cast and a regular camera, then you get to make your 200 million dollar end of the world 3D popcorn flick!

COMIC BOOK MOVIES NEED TO STOP. NOTHING NEW TO OFFER AT THIS TIME.
I waited for years for Hollywood to start making good comic book movies. They finally did. And then once they made some money, the floodgates opened and every single comic book and graphic novel got the green light to be made. Now it’s out of control. Just….stop. Not every comic book needs to be turned into a horrible, pointless movie. If the comic book is lame, what makes you think the movie won’t be as well?

THERE MUST BE GOOD MOVIES DURING SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SEASON
How about this simple formula? For every 3 big budget popcorn flicks a studio puts out from Memorial Day until the end of August, they must put out an original, quality movie that isn’t a sequel, wasn’t made for over $60 mil and didn’t have a trailer during the Super Bowl. Deal?

REALITY TELEVISION NEEDS TO DIE!
That’s it. Period. Or, all the networks should throw money into creating one major network that only has reality shows. Take them off their current schedules and play them on that network 24 hours a day. With DVRs and advertisements, everybody will make money while the main networks can get back to original scripted tv shows.

NO MORE BIOPICS ABOUT KIDDIES LIKE BIEBER AND MILEY WHO HAVEN’T EVEN LIVED THEIR STUPID LIVES YET. REALLY?!
Stop it. No T explanation needed. Just stop it.

STOP BOOTLEGGING PEOPLE! PAY UP.
There are a million easy ways to bootleg things this day and age. I know. But just think about the people who aren’t making the big bucks. Who are just trying to pay their bills. Support themselves and their families. Don’t bootleg just because you can. Just pay. And enjoy the hard work of so many people trying to entertain you!

If Hollywood can address and make these changes, I GUARANTEE the “biz” and the world will be a better place! Trust me. As a writer, businessman and consultant extraordinaire gun-for-hire, I know my stuff. Listen to me now, then thank me later Hollywood. You can reach me here. I’m waiting.

What do you think??? Am I crazy?! Do you like what’s in theaters right now? Are you DVRing and watching shows you really love? I want to know! Hit me up here or on Facebook or Twitter!

Until next time. Always take it there.

T