T-pisode 85: The 1st Ten: T’s Bromance Comedy

In case you didn’t know, I’m not just an honest, funny, original blogger. I’m also a screenwriter. And some of you have asked to read some of my scripts. Ok. Some of my work is being shopped around but I would like to share some material right here on t-blawg. Copyrighted material! So you steal it, I sue! In Hollywood if you can get somebody to read through the first ten pages, then you may have a decent script. It’s the introduction. So I am presenting a new feature here on t-blawg. It’s called “The 1^st Ten”.

This script is a bromance comedy. PG-13ish. Think “The Hangover” meets “40 Year-Old Virgin.”

How does the ultimate bachelor have a relationship with “the one” when all he knows is hooking up and his married buddies refuse to let him settle down because they live for his many conquests?

I present “T’s Bromance Comedy”:

*Don’t mind the formatting here!

FADE IN:

INT. TOMMY’S BEDROOM. DAY
A beautiful WOMAN, 23, is on top of TOMMY, 25, kissing him in bed. Tommy is good looking. He’s in shape and has a boyish smile. The two just finished having sex. She drops and lays next to him smiling and rubbing his bare chest.

TOMMY
(smiling)
Now that’s what I’m talking about!

WOMAN
Oh my God. That was amazing.

TOMMY
(proudly)
No doubt.

WOMAN
I just want to let you know I never do stuff like this.

TOMMY
You could’ve fooled me babe.

WOMAN
Not the sex silly. I mean meeting a guy in a bar and going home with him. I never do that.

TOMMY
Me neither.

WOMAN
Yeah right.

TOMMY
Seriously. I never go home with guys I meet in bars.

The woman laughs. She reaches over for her cell phone and checks the time.

WOMAN
Shit! I’m going to be late for work!

TOMMY
It’s all good honey! It’s only 10:00!

She hops out of bed and rushes around trying to get dressed as Tommy smiles with his arms behind his head.

WOMAN
Some of us actually have to work real nine to five jobs!

TOMMY
Well one day maybe you too can be in charge.

WOMAN
I thought you were only like a VP of publishing or something!

TOMMY
Only? Honey, if the President dies, that means I’m in charge of everything!

WOMAN
I don’t think it works like that. If your company is anything like mine, there’s probably like thirteen other VPs and at least five presidents.

TOMMY
What’s your point?

WOMAN
I don’t even have time to go home and change! People are going to know I hooked up.

TOMMY
Dude the walk of shame sucks.

She runs over to Tommy and gives him a kiss.

WOMAN
Well it was worth it.

TOMMY
It was spectacular! I was spectacular!

WOMAN
(laughing)
Yes you were! Gotta go! Dinner this weekend?

TOMMY
(beat)
Yeah sure.

WOMAN
Call me!

TOMMY
You betcha!

She leaves the apartment.

Tommy looks up from bed smiling ear to ear.

TOMMY (CONT’D)
T, you are the man.

Tommy jumps out of bed.

His place is a bachelor pad. The apartment is full of expensive electronics and furniture.

He turns on his iPod dock and plays Jay-Z.

TOMMY (CONT’D)
(singing)
Big pimpin’ spendin’ cheese!

Tommy showers and then goes through his assortment of suits in his closet.

He lays down different combinations of expensive suits, ties and shirts.

TOMMY (CONT’D)
What’s the point? I look good in them all!

Tommy is suited up. He drinks a protein shake and then grabs his bag and leaves.

INT. OFFICE. DAY
BILLY, 23, is sitting in his cubicle on the phone. Billy is a young looking, wide eyed man-child.

BILLY
I know I went out last night but it’s Friday! Guys night out honey!
(beat)
Last night was Thirsty Thursday and T nailed a big account! We talked about this already. Stop yelling.
(beat)
I KNOW HOW HE IS!
(beat)
I’m not raising my voice. Sorry. I don’t know if he hooked up or not.
(beat)
You’re right. He IS such a man whore! I don’t know why I hang out with him either.
(beat)
Okay! I said okay!

Tommy walks in.

TOMMY
Bill Eazay what up kid?!

They high five.

BILLY
(on the phone)
Gotta go! I’ll call you later!

He SLAMS the phone down.

BILLY (CONT’D)
Big T! 11:30 and just rolling into work. I love it!

TOMMY
Was that the wifey?

BILLY
She was giving me crap about going out with you last night.

TOMMY
Still?

BILLY
She’s always giving me crap now. Since the wedding. Seven weeks ago.

TOMMY
I keep telling you to tell her that you’re not out with me anymore. You’re always going to be guilty by association man.

BILLY
I know.

TOMMY
And didn’t you go home at like 7:00?

BILLY
Yes. Everything changed since we got married. Just seven weeks ago!

TOMMY
I know man. I was there.

BILLY
She’s like a different woman.

TOMMY
You were warned. A lot.

Billy starts to smile.

TOMMY (CONT’D)
What?

BILLY
So how did it go with Sharon?

TOMMY
Who’s Sharon?

BILLY
The chick from the bar last night!

TOMMY
Was that her name?

BILLY
Oh man! You hooked up?! Again!

Tommy laughs.

BILLY (CONT’D)
Man I saw that coming! I miss everything now! Tell me how it went down.

Billy’s phone RINGS. He leans over to look at it.

BILLY (CONT’D)
Dammit! Why is she calling me now!?

Tommy starts to walk away laughing.

BILLY (CONT’D)
Wait don’t go! I want details man!  Details! I need them!

TOMMY
I’ll tell you at lunch. Come grab me in twenty minutes.

BILLY
Lunch? You just got in.

TOMMY
What’s your point?

Billy’s cell phone starts RINGING.

BILLY
Now she’s calling me on both phones.

TOMMY
(laughing)
You better answer that.

BILLY
Keep laughing. This might be you some day!

TOMMY
No way dude! I love my life!

BILLY
I love my WIFE!

The phones keeping RINGING. Tommy walks away.

TOMMY
Keep telling yourself that!

BILLY
See you in twenty bro!

Billy answers his cell phone.

BILLY (CONT’D)
WHAT?!
(beat)
I’m sorry for raising my voice honey.

INT. TOMMY’S OFFICE. LATER
Tommy is leaning back in his chair with his feet on his desk. He’s on the phone.

TOMMY
Jon, I’m telling you this girl wasn’t a Boston ten. She was an LA ten.
(beat)
I’m serious man!
(beat)
Hey you got out the game.  I remember when we raised your jersey and retired your number at your bachelor party two years ago.

Tommy laughs.

TOMMY (CONT’D)
Your wife’s still a ten man. And she’ll still be one after my god-daughter is born.

Billy RUNS into Tommy’s office.

BILLY
Walk out here with me now!

TOMMY
What?

BILLY
WALK OUT HERE WITH ME NOW!

TOMMY
Jon, I’ll see you tonight. Everybody’s in. Later.

Tommy hangs up the phone.

TOMMY (CONT’D)
Don’t be storming all up in here and yelling at me like that. I’m a VP bitch!

BILLY
You have to see the new chick.

Tommy jumps out of his chair.

TOMMY
She hot?

BILLY
What do you think?

TOMMY
I don’t know with you. You have no scale. I’ve met your wife.

BILLY
My wife is hot bro.

Tommy puts his suit jacket on and fixes his tie.

TOMMY
I’m messing with you. Let’s go.

They walk out of Tommy’s office quickly.

SUSAN, 24, is a sexy, provocatively dressed woman. She is walking around the office with ALLISON, 25, introducing her to the employees. Allison is the beautiful girl next door. Her big eyes are amazing. A natural beauty without trying.

TOMMY (CONT’D)
Whoa.

BILLY
What did I tell you? My scale is the bomb. She’s a ten. An LA ten!

TOMMY
Slow your roll. She could be good from far, far from good. Plus she’s with Susan. The biggest crotch blocker around.

BILLY
That’s cause she still wants you.

TOMMY
Of course she does.

The two women start to walk over to them.

TOMMY (CONT’D)
Quick act busy.

The girls see them pick up random papers from the desk they are standing near.

TOMMY (CONT’D)
(loudly)
So, what we need to do here is compile all of our resources and-

BILLY
Right, right.

TOMMY
And then we will be able to utilize the pythagorean theorem here-

The girls get closer.

BILLY
Absolutely. Absolutely Mr. Vice President.

SUSAN
Stop acting like you two are working.

TOMMY
And then the result will allow us to make millions. Possibly billions!

Allison smiles.

BILLY
Maybe even trillions!

TOMMY
(slowly)
May be.

BILLY
You are such a genius.

TOMMY
I know. Oh hey Susan. Didn’t see you there. And who is this?

SUSAN
Whatever. Tommy, Billy this is Allison. She’s the new senior graphic designer in marketing.

ALLISON
Hi, nice to meet you.

Tommy is smitten.

BILLY
Hi.

Tommy reaches his hand out.

TOMMY
So nice to meet you Allison.

SUSAN
Try staying away from this one Tommy. I know it will be hard for you.

TOMMY
What are you talking about?

SUSAN
Tommy is an asshole. And Billy is a border line retard.

Allison laughs.

BILLY
You’re in HR! You have to stop describing us like that to new employees Susan!

ALLISON
Got it. Mentally challenged. And A-hole.

TOMMY
(smiling)
Not only am I an A-hole, but I’m also the VP of publishing. I’m important. Please remember that.

ALLISON
(smiling)
Okay, I’ll be sure to remember that.

TOMMY
That’s all I ask.

The girls walk away. Allison, still smiling, glances back at Tommy.

So there it is. I shared the 1^st ten pages of my bromance comedy. Can you tell where the inspiration came from? Does Tommy sound familiar? I bet he does! This script was actually t-blawg before t-blawg existed. The story gets better.

Would you read more??? Let me know on here, Facebook or Twitter!

Until next time. Always take it there.

T