T-pisode 8: Who Said That?

Who do you quote? Seriously. Think about it. We do a lot of talking, texting, emailing, tweeting daily and sometimes we’re just not that original. Well I think I am. Because people steal my jokes, sayings, updates, tweets all the damn time! But it’s cool. I’ll take it as a compliment. Until I find you. And I will cut you. My friends steal that from me all the time. So again, who do you quote? I’m not talking about deep, profound life changing inspirational quotes. Hell I hate those. So annoying. So aren’t women who quote Sex and the City or Marilyn Monroe by the way. It’s weird. And you also tricked yourself into believing Prince Charming is going to find you and treat you like a princess because you are the greatest thing ever. Yeah. Keep telling yourself that. Enjoy life with all your cats. Nutjob.

On any given day I quote movies. Especially comedies, gangster movies and sports movies. What? I’m an Italian guy from Boston who writes movies. What did you expect? I believe there is a movie quote reply for every situation. Check it out!

At any football game:
You say “I haven’t seen a tackle like that since Joe Montana.” Your friend says “Joe Montana was a quarterback, you idiot.” You then say “I said Joe Mantegna.”-The Waterboy

While playing any card game when you’re losing:
You say “I’ll stay” while waving your hand over cards. “I too like to live dangerously.”-Austin Powers

Looking to hookup. Fast.:
You say “Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.” Get a disgusted look? Say “What? I’m a cocksman.”-Wedding Crashers

When you’re the drunk one in the bunch:
You say “What you lookin’ at? You all a bunch of fuckin’ assholes. You know why? You don’t have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin’ fingers and say, “That’s the bad guy.” So say goodnight to the bad guy.”-Scarface

At the grocery store:
Go up to any person who works there and say “Arugula?” Don’t even let him answer! Just say “It’s a vege-ta-bull.” And when he later says “Have a nice day.” Be sure to reply “Fuck you.”-My Blue Heaven

On a first date with a woman:
First thing that comes out of your mouth when you see her “What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me… ending up together?”-Dumb & Dumber

When she wants you to get your act together:
Look her straight in the eye and say “I guess what I’m trying to say is. If I can change. And you can change. EVERYBODY CAN CHANGE!!!!!” Preferably sounding like you had a stroke and hire someone who speaks Russian to translate for more of an effect. Then just for the hell of it, raise your hands in the air and shout “DRAGOOOO!!!!”-Rocky IV

So you see? There’s a movie quote for any situation. Just make sure you use the right quote for the right situation or else you’re going to shoot yourself in the foot. And if we learned anything from the movie Goodfellas it’s “All right so he got shot in the foot, what is it a big fuckin’ deal?” Yes Joe Pesci. It is.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T