T-pisode 51: What Your Tattoo Says About You

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If you have a tattoo and look like this, I will date you. No really.

I’m a tattoo guy. I have a few to say the least. I dig them. They’re cool. They start-up conversations. They invoke an odd sense of respect. Sometimes fear. And I dig chicks with tats. So hot. I mean a real turn on for me. Seriously. My first tat was a tribal design on my shoulder…yeah I know but it was many moons ago. I don’t regret it. I never covered it up because it’s a reminder of where I was and who I was when I got it. I have since gone on to get many more. After my first, I’ve either designed my other ones or had a lot of creative input on them. Each piece means something to me. Tattoos should mean something. And so many people just get them for the sake of getting them. That’s stupid. They really don’t mean anything to the person but they sure as hell say something about the person who got them. Here’s what your tattoo says to the world.

The tramp stamp (tribal design; flowers; hearts; etc.) tat says:
“I’m easy. Or I got this at a time when I was easy. Don’t judge me.”

The shoulder tat (college frat symbol; military status; etc.) says:
“I might’ve been in a fraternity bro or even the military and want you to think I’m tough.”

The ankle tat (butterfly; flowers; hearts; etc.) says:
“I’m girly but yet bad ass. I wear heels because I’m a chick. And they show off my tat because I’m also a little dirty.”

A rib cage tat (mostly large writing) says:
“Megan Fox has one and she’s hot. So I got one but it only let’s people know I’m a big tease and this is where dick teases get their tats.”

A pelvis tat (butterfly; flowers; sun; moon; etc.) says:
“I just might be a slampig. Still undecided. If over 40 dudes have seen this tat, then yep, I’m a slampig. But I lost count. So.”

An upper chest tat (A mix of words, people, locations, designs usually) says:
“I wasn’t in a Mexican gang or prison but now I look like I was.”

The abs tat (Your favorite saying; favorite city; etc.) says:
“It worked for Tupac but I guess I have to cut back on the carbs first so people really get the idea that I live Thug Life.”

The Chinese characters tat (You know what they look like!) says:
“Neither I nor my tattoo artist actually know what this means. I am a fucking tool.”

The Italian flag/colors tat says:
“I’m a guido poser douche that’s on the juice and I have a small penis. And I tan a lot. What…Up.”

The Irish shamrock/Notre Dame leprechaun tat says:
“I’m an alcoholic who wants you to think I like to fight but if you hit me I’m crying like a little school girl as I run away from you.”

The religious tat (crosses; rosary beads; Jesus himself; star of David; etc.) says:
“My religion is the right one and this will keep me from eternal damnation after I die right? RIGHT???”

A neck tat (initials; lips; random little stupid shit; etc.) says:
“I will never have a real high paying job and will never amount to anything. Now excuse me while I go play Xbox. After I cash this welfare check real quick.”

Roman Numeral tats say:
“Shit looked cool though on the Rocky movie titles!”

The arm band tat (tribal; barbed wire; etc.) says:
“Biggest regret of my life.”

The sleeve tat (bunch of tats; skulls; bones; coy fish; random stupid shit; gray wash smoke; etc.) says:
“Please look at me. I need attention. My mother didn’t hold me enough. I’m peacocking. Please. Look!”

An inside the lip tat (Fuck you; Bite Me; Awesome; etc.) says:
“I was a fucking idiot when I got it. And I’m still a fucking idiot. I know.”

A face tat (anything tatted on your face) says:
“Mike Tyson and Lil’ Wayne did it. But yeah. It doesn’t have the same effect for me now does it?”

Somebody’s name tat (your own name; some chick’s name; your kid’s name; your mom’s name; your dead buddy’s name; etc.) says:
“I’m bad with names. And it worked for that guy in Memento. Shut up. Leave me alone. What’s your name again? Hold on. Let me look at my left shin real quick.”

The back mural (religious pieces; battle scenes; dragons; almost everything and anything smooshed together; etc.) says:
“I just let the tattoo guy do whatever. I can’t see it. It looks that bad? Yeah I’ll be saving up for laser removal starting with my next paycheck.”

The Nothing (no tats at all) says:
There’s something messed up about you. You’re hiding some deep dark shit. I actually trust people with tats more than people without them. Seriously. This day and age and you don’t have at least one??? Really?! Weirdo. Loosen up there chief. I’m checking your fridge for severed heads right now.

Now you know what your tattoos say to the world. They really do. As long as you think your tattoos are cool, so what. Just know everybody is still making fun of you as soon as you leave the room. Wait. I wonder who is making fun of me and my tattoos right now??? D’oh. Sons of bitches.

Until next time. Always take it there.



  1. I have a realistic rendition of a sparrow sitting on a branch on my forearm (bottom, pale side). It’s not one of those cartoonish ones, but more of an outline with thick lines and shading. What does that say about me?


    1. Hmmm. It says you’re creative and have balls for putting your tat out there like that. Or, you could be bat shit crazy. 😉


      1. Well, I did get it when I was 19… but it hasn’t stopped me from getting a job yet.


      2. Nice. I have to wear sleeves all the time. Luckily, I’m in a suit most of the time in the office.


  2. Ink is addictive. Once you’ve crossed that line and gotten your first tat, you’re done for. More will likely come.

    Ohgawdno. I have a pelvis tat. Stars and a planet. But folks don’t see it unless I’m at the beach. I was barely legal when I got it. Mom freaked, but was happy it was girlie and not a skull and crossbones or something.

    The other one is on my shoulder and I honestly forget it’s there. That one I want redone, but I don’t know with what, so I wait.


    1. Barely legal pelvis tats are hot. And if most dudes only get to see it as they gawk at you at the beach, I think you’re ok.

      And tats are very addictive. Especially for people with real outgoing personalities.


  3. Alright T, I have to admit I was a little nervous when you announced you were doing this post haha! I have 8 total now. The majority of mine have huge meaning behind them and the art work was done by either friends or the tattoo artist themselves. But I will admit I have 2 that were ‘on the whim’ tattoos. Thank god my lizard is covered (i won’t even get into that one) and I will admit I have a chinese symbol. I had a scare with it that was pretty funny..I was checking out at a store and behind the counter was an asian guy and he looked at me dead in the eye and said “what did they tell you that meant?” I said ‘Soul’. He just shook his head and of course I start freaking out a bit and asked what it meant and he said he couldn’t say it in front of a lady. Umm..I about soiled myself and finally he cracked a smile and said they got it right and that is what it meant. Shewee! Anyway..I love all of mine and each one reminds me of a time in my life. My latest is on my wrist and says ‘fly’ with birds flying up around my hand..you didn’t mention tats there..so you have homework….Tattoos on the wrist. Get busy. 😉
    Keep Rock’n.


    1. I have 7 myself. And I’m glad all of yours mean something to you. Wouldn’t expect anything less.

      I know a lot of people who really found out what their Chinese symbols meant with similar stories. That’s crazy. You’re one of the few who got it right. Lucky!

      I’ll get the female wrist tat next time. 😉


  4. Oh. No. You have 7 tats?? Hot. Super super hot.

    I have a tramp stamp.

    It’s a Celtic symbol called a Triskell. Means unity of mind, spirit and body. I like that I can hide it. Would I get another one? Probably not, but I wouldn’t want to get the one I have removed. I like it.

    So. Yeah…Gonna have to move that Boston trip up…


    1. Wow. Are we just finding more and more in common as our posts and tweets go up over the weeks or what?! 😉

      Nothing wrong with the tramp stamp if it means something to you.


  5. I dabbled with the idea of tats for a long time, but my interests change way too much for me to get something permanently etched into my body. Shit, if I got tatted on me what I get passionate about throughout my life, I’d have Whole Foods peanut butter on my shoulder or some shit. I’m all for anybody who wants to get tatted up, especially when said tat has a ton of personal meaning. So I guess you view me up there somewhere with Dexter, huh? See you next weekend brotha!


    1. You could totally pull off the Whole Foods tat bro! Haha. See you when you return to Boston next weekend. Big party waiting for you. T style of course! VIP tables, models and bottles.


      1. I’m a huge peanut butter fan. Eat it by the spoonful. Great with a banana too. But I’m a Skippy guy. And my shoulders are already covered. Tribal on the left. A “T” on the right. I too sometimes forget my own nickname. 😉


  6. T-Blawg: So what ARE your tats? How many of your own categories did you fall into? ha ha…yeah I fell into a couple, but I tell ya, I love my tramp stamp!


    1. Haha. I was waiting for somebody to ask brother! I fall into a couple. Here are my 7 tats. All black ink.

      Tribal design on left shoulder.
      “T” on right shoulder.
      A great, long quote that was on my bday card where my best friend & cousin asked me to be his daughter’s godfather on the inside of my left forearm.
      A quote about “Greatness” from Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night on the inside of my right forearm. Being a writer and all.
      A lion head inside left bicep.
      A Leo symbol of sorts inside right bicep.
      A small sun of sorts top middle of my chest that I got over a trach scar from when I was a baby T.


      1. I also have 7 and yes they all mean something, not just random art.

        Bulldog head on ankle – college mascot, the whole freshman wrestling class got them…at least I was smart enough not to get the Tasmanian Devil body with it

        Navigational Star on right waistline

        Phoenix on right shoulder covering a bad volleyball logo from my beach v-ball days

        Broken stone shaped tribal sun on left shoulder

        Tribal style graphics surrounding my “HD” and Swords shaped like “T” (actually two separate ones I keep adding to)

        I get a new tattoo every-time a family member or friend comes to town to visit. It has become a tradition, and I use the same Artist every-time. – Great Post!


      2. Nice. I’ve only had 3 artists myself. The last 3 tats have come from the same person. I go to her every time now. She’s awesome. She has a great hand and is willing to work with what I come up with. It’s hard to find that combo.


  7. How am I just reading this now!? Getting my first one soon,
    now I know the multitude of places/things to avoid, much thanks to
    T 🙂 PS. Seven?! Might have to control myself 😀


  8. hello i need ideas i want a flower or something that represents my thug life born da same day as 2pac


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