T-pisode 62: Valentine’s Day Sucks 2-F*ck Love

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Cupid is a dick

Last year I wrote Valentine’s Day Sucks. I stated my case about why it sucks. This year I’m following it up with a sequel. A more introspective look into myself and to why I personally think it sucks. I had a year to do this research. The result is this. I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe I’m not capable of love. I mean I love myself. A lot. Shit I’m awesome! I love my family. I love my friends. I love Boston. I love money. I love writing. I love sex. I love my work. I love all that stuff a lot. But I just can’t find it with a woman. Maybe it’ll never happen. Maybe I don’t care. Maybe I do. Maybe I’ll live in shame. In sin. In lust. For the rest of my life. Maybe I’ll just come and go as I please. Pun intended. Maybe I’ll just rock some chicks’ lives and leave them happy. Or miserable. I mean that’s what I’ve been doing. For a while now. Maybe it’s because I refuse to “bite the bullet” like so many of my boys have done. “Time for me to settle, T.” They say. “I want to have kids. She’ll make a good mom.” They trick themselves into believing. “I’m getting up there. Sick of going out.” They say as if they are defeated. And you know what t-blawgians? Not one of them. Not one single one of my seriously committed or married buddies have ever said to me, “I love her more than I love myself. More than anyone or anything else I know.” Not one. That’s what I would want. If it ever happened.

I’m not heartless. I’m just me. I’ve been in love. I’ve been loved. And it ended. It came and went. That’s what she said. So until I can say what none of my buddies are capable of saying, I say this, fuck love. Fuck the chirping birds. Fuck the butterflies. Fuck the candy. Fuck the dopey in love smiles. Fuck the elderly couple holding hands. Fuck the weddings. Fuck the living happily ever afters. Fuck love. Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it! All you whack ass “in love” people can go out on Valentine’s Day to that “special restaurant”. Order that “bottle of champagne”. Spend the night “in Boston”. Away from the kids. Away from your mundane “settled” lives. Because you know what? All that special shit I just mentioned? I DO THAT EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY. I’m already in Boston. I’ve already been to that restaurant and told you about it. I already drank that champagne and pissed it out. Twice. I don’t have kids that I need to hide from for the night. This is your Valentine’s Day??? REALLY?! That’s special? That’s love?! Fuck that. Fuck love.

All you couples “in love” judge me and all those other people who haven’t found “love” yet just a little bit more around Valentine’s Day. Don’t lie. You stare. You point. You gossip. You think and say something is wrong with us. You cast your fucking Valentine’s Day stones. Well this year I’m throwing them back. Right at your stupid fucking heads. I’m throwing them back for people who aren’t like you. I’m not like you. I’m not saying you’re bad. I’m just saying I’m not you. And I’m also saying…fuck love. Fuck your version of it anyways. I may not be capable of your version of love. Or the “textbook” version of it. But maybe someday I’ll say out loud to whoever will listen, with a big dopey fucking smile on my face “I love her more than I love myself. More than anyone or anything else I know.” But until that day. Fuck love. Fuck Valentine’s Day. At least until that day.

Until next time. Always take it there.



  1. Does T stand for temper? Funny post tho, u never know man, next year at this time your vd post maybe different if u make it big and hook up w/ hollywood hottie; btw settled does not always equal mundane, when u find the right one you’ll see…damn I’m rambling


    1. Haha. It sometimes stands for temper. But mostly it stands for truth.

      You never know bro. We’ll see where the world takes me. A lot can happen in a year!

      Not a ramble. A good comment that gets the “T Approval”.


  2. Couple things…(1) Reading this made me laugh so much, I almost peed! (2) If you have been in love before, you can love, so it will happen again. (3) Dudes are dudes! you know this…you’re a dude. I can’t imagine one dude telling another dude that he loves anyone other his mom, more than himself…even if its true. (4) I venture to say you actually love love….because you say Fuck Love…BUT only until ‘THAT DAY’. 🙂


  3. Great post! And that’s coming from a defeated engaged dolt like myself. Valentines day blows.

    My bird and I went to dinner this weekend (not on actual V-Day, I do have some principals left) to a great new place in Boston, it was kind of small so the tables were close together & you could literally over hear the couple next to us. I heard them yammering about their enagement and I overheard (I’m a creep, I was listening) the dude say, ‘well I dont want a big bachelor party and I’m afraid some of my friends want to do creepy things.’ and that sent his chick off on a rant. I just wanted to shake the defeated gentleman and tell him it doesn’t have to be this way!

    After they left I looked at my chick and said, ‘just so we’re clear there will most certainly be a strippers and hijinks at my bachelor party.’ and she said, ‘yeah, i just figured thats what they all we’re like.’ And that my friend, is a keeper………..I tell myself this.


    1. Now that’s how you handle your bachelor party! More soon to be married men should step up like that instead of always putting the blame on their pals. That is why most women don’t like their boyfriend/husband’s pals. It has a lot to do with how the man handles situations like that. You can either be honest from the start or be a pussy and lie and put the blame on your buddies. When I get there one day, I’ll still be just as honest as I am now. Just not as crazy.


      1. Exactly! You throw your boys under the bus to your chick then you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of her giving you shit everytime their name comes up.

        In fairness to the dude from my story, he was kind of a dweeb – so screw’em!


  4. Vday is the goofiest holiday yet. I would much rather get random flowers throughout the year than my husband doing it on a certain day because he feels like he has to. As far as the candy goes, the random carmellos and kitkats that he brings home to me on a random Wednesday or Monday is much better than a heart shaped box of gross crap any day. I feel very lucky to have the so called vday on any given day whether it be January, June or September.
    As far as the judging goes from a married girl towards any single person…I say Kudos to you. Don’t settle, don’t do it just because you feel like you have to. Stay true to yourself. You will find that love one day that will make you think “I love her more than myself or anything in this world” but until that happens keep doing what you are doing. Always stay true to yourself.
    Keep Rock’n.


    1. Not at all. I’m just speaking for the single people and non judging couples out there who don’t need Valentine’s Day as a crutch or a reason to be special for one day a year.

      The whole love thing is true. From my point of view. Until I know otherwise that is. That doesn’t make me bitter. It makes me honest and a human being. All the “fucks” were added for effect. 😉


  5. Valentines…sometimes I celebrate it sometimes I don’t. But, I like it. It’s fun. Like most holidays should be. Unfortunately people jump on the consumer centric bandwagon to crazy town when it rolls around. So, prospective, Valentines should be a little flirty a little sassy and a lot of extra….y’know… Yeah, I am a fan of the box of chocolate,(that’s the fifth grader in me) and cards, flowers are cool…simple… 🙂

    Ok, to be fair, I’m sure with enough frilly fluffy sparkly red pink and purple crap you may get it… As I’ve heard in the world of settling that stuff is like gold…F*ck Settling!


    1. I’m a fan of the “a lot of extra y’know”. If it’s something you’re already doing, giving and getting year round then there’s nothing wrong with a little extra to put a smile on a pretty girl’s face who likes Valentine’s. I’d honestly enjoy it for her. If that was the case. And I would also know at that point that neither one of us was “settling”. 😉


  6. Valentine’s day is a crock of shit. If you have treated me like crap the whole year, then you and I are both idiots to think you can make up for it in one day. I don’t celebrate it, whether I’m in a relationship or not, and I make sure to tell whatever dude I’m with what my stance is on Valentine’s day.

    Great post 🙂


  7. I like Valentine’s Day for the simple reason that it forces me to slow down and let folks know that I love and care for them. I do my best to do this daily with my besties and my family, but I know I sometimes fall short (like most folks do, I think). We all get busy with our own lives and our own “stuff”.

    That said, the consumerism of it all sucks ass. Prices for roses doubles and triples, restaurants jack up their prices, etc. Nah. I’ll pass on that crap, thankyouverymuch. Give me my sweetie, a bottle of good wine and some cuddle (read: wiggle!) time and I’m a happy woman.


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