T-pisode 138: T Has Wheels Again

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When I pull up to a hot chick at the light I do this. Every time. Shit works.

I got my first car the day after I got my license when I was “legally” allowed to at the age of 16 ½. But being from East Boston of course I was driving since like the age of 9. But that’s a T-pisode for another day people! My first car was a 1985 Cutlass Supreme. Or as we called our first cars back then, a “shitbox.” But it was my shitbox. I bought it with my own money. And I loved that car. I picked up my cousin and we drove all over the place and we got pulled over almost every damn time. Because he was 14, I was 16 but we both looked like we were 12. Good times. It was so fun when we would mouth off to the cops and they would slam us on the hood of my shitbox so hard the rust would fall off. And even MORE fun would ensue when they ran our names and our fathers’ names and criminal records would show up instead. It was so funny when I had to answer for crimes I committed in 19 fucking 84!!!! Stupid cops. Then they would let us go. I would go on to have 3 more cars after my shitbox. Finally buying my first new car at the age of 24. That was huge for me. I finally felt like I deserved something. Then 5 years later I moved into downtown Boston and got rid of my car. T was without wheels for the first time in almost 13 years. So I had to adapt.

Of course a grown ass man should have a car. It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford one living in the city. I honestly just didn’t need it and kind of didn’t want it. I moved into the city to enjoy city life. I could walk or take the train to work. The gym was around the corner. Fenway Park was 10 minutes away. All of the Boston nightlife was right outside my window. Most of my single friends lived in surrounding downtown neighborhoods. The majority of women I dated just came to my place and were kicked out before sunrise. And I could literally walk out my front door and on to a Boston movie set. I was living the fucking dream and that dream did not have a car in it. The only major con was not being able to see my family when I wanted. Up until that point I could see my immediate family by just going upstairs or driving a couple of blocks down the street. That was the only thing that sucked about not having a car at first. So year one went by. I was cool. Year two went by. Ok, T had embraced full city living at that point. Year 3??? I needed a fucking car again! I couldn’t take it. The dream kind of became a nightmare. Every girl I met DID NOT live in the city like me. So they had to get home. And a grown man without a car could not drive the nice ladies home. So I spent a shitload of money on cab fare sending these lovely honeys on their way home. I also couldn’t really do a big food shopping. I’m strong but it sucks carrying 16 bags of groceries down the street on a hot Summer day in the city. And I couldn’t just hop in the car to get away for the weekend. Or go to and leave shitty parties when I wanted to get back into the city because I had to wait for a ride most of the time. I started to lose my fucking mind but I got through year 3. The start of my 4th year in the city was the start of my epic comeback in life and it was at that time I said “Fuck it. T is getting a car again.”

So just like that, T went out and bought a brand new car. And living in the city T also had to buy an over priced city parking space. And had to get a special resident parking sticker. And of course insurance again for the new T-mobile. Aaaand this shit needs gas to run on too. Boy gas sure has gone up a tad since I last had a car. But hey, it was worth it! The lion finally got out of his cage and it was time to kill all the people in the zoo! Wait, what? I hopped in my new car and drove over the other side of the Tobin Bridge to show my mother, my sister, my cousin and then I picked up right where I left off after cruising the streets of Boston…by texting and picking up a psycho, young ass, drama queen. Just like old times T! After our night out and having this chick bust my balls, I realized I couldn’t just pick up where I left off with women like the way I used to when I had a car before. I had changed. I had grown. So after I snapped on her through texts at 3AM because she was driving me nuts like I said, I realized that while I had wheels again I would never be an asshole with a nice car again. I didn’t have it in me. Plus I didn’t want to replace that new car smell with badussy smell like all my other cars. I was a different T with wheels this time people. It was time for me to get my grown man shit on and start fresh. But with a car. And I’ll tell you what people. I will never ever ever EVER go without a fucking car again. So if you see a good looking guy with a Sox hat driving around the streets of Boston, thumping Jay-Z and smiling…wave and smile back. Because it’s me. It’s a new T. Wanna race?



Until next time. Always take it there.




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