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Ok. I’m going to try to write about something here that happens sometimes between a man and a woman. But first let me get the obvious out of the way. 99% of the time when people stop dating, stop hooking up, end a relationship or end a marriage it’s because one person does something that damages the relationship so severely that it cannot be repaired. Trust is violated. Someone abuses the other. A major financial catastrophe occurs. Something goes down with a kid or pregnancy. Or some shit along those lines. Ok? We all know that right? Then sometimes, SOMETIMES a relationship ends because the other person just wakes up one friggin’ morning and for some reason the person “just isn’t into it anymore.” That’s it. That’s all that happened. This is over because you’re “just not into it anymore.” Really? That’s why? That’s the reason? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT??? WHO DOES THAT SHIT?! Well apparently, a lot of people. You. Me. Everyone. And it sucks for all of us.
You see as a manly man I try not to over analyze a relationship. Over analyze a woman. I’m older now so I have to compromise. There are things I’m willing to look past. To accept. To just try to enjoy regardless of how many differences she and I have. And I know a lot of women throw their stupid “Must Have Lists” out the window when they really want to make something work with a man they think is a good guy. But sometimes no matter what, you just aren’t into it anymore. Now here comes the rub. How the hell do you tell someone that? And if you’re on the receiving end of that, how the hell do you just accept it? Well ol’ T here is telling you…you can’t. You don’t. You won’t. This goes back to how we all want to end things on our own terms. How we all want that magical thing called “closure.” There is something in all of us that will not accept a person that we like, we enjoy, we care about just one day up and saying to us “I’m just not into it anymore.” Oh you son of a bitch bastard. That’s your reason?! This is how it felt every time I told a chick this?! Is this karma??? Is this stupid? Yes! You’re stupid! I want fucking answers. I deserve a reason. There has to be something more! What happened? Is it another guy??? Did you cheat?! Was I bad in bed??? Did I chew with my mouth open one too many times?! ANSWER ME! TELL ME!!! And you know what? You never get the answer you want. Why? Because they just weren’t into it.
They were no longer into it so much that you won’t ever, EVER get the answer or reason you were looking for. Because you weren’t ready for it to end. They just lost that loving feeling. Yes. That stupid Top Gun song. That’s the reason. They won’t say it. YOU won’t say it when you’re “just not into it anymore” either. All the good feelings went bad. Yep. No rhyme or reason why. That stuff that made her smile now makes her miserable. Your awesome jokes are no longer funny. That epic orgasmic sex now makes her have a headache. That restaurant she loved? The food there now tastes like shit to her. She’s gone. She checked out and she’s not coming back. The signs are usually there early on. You just can’t see them when you’re in the mix of it all. You won’t see them until she just ups and says “I’m just not into it anymore.” You no longer fit into her life. Her future plans. You are donzo. And you know what? I’m guilty of doing this. You are too. And there is absolutely nothing any of us can do to avoid it. I know it’s tough to see the big picture, but honestly be glad it happened sooner rather than later. This way you can go on to the next one and maybe, just maybe you both stay really into it for a very long time and neither of you ever wakes up feeling “I’m just not into it anymore.”
Until next time. Always take it there.
T
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