T-pisode 175: Settle vs Settle Down

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Wait. I'm supposed to settle for this just so I can say I'm married? Get the fuck outta here kid.
Wait. I’m supposed to settle for this just so I can say I’m married? Get the fuck outta here kid.

As a single man at my age I get a lot of “T, when are you going to settle down?” Like according to some imaginary clock I’m supposed to be all settled down by now with a wife, 2.5 kids, a dog, a cat, a gerbil, 2 cars and a house in the suburbs with a big yard and a pool so I can have cookouts every Sunday after tee ball or some shit. Really? That’s how it works huh? Well shit I had no idea. Thanks for letting me know fuckers. I’m kidding! Not really. The problem with all these people asking me about when I’m going to settle down is they really don’t know what settle down actually means. Before you ask ol’ T over here if I’m ready to settle down I need you to ask yourself first “Do I even know what the fuck settle down is? Am I really asking T when he is going to settle down or am I asking him if he’s ready to settle?” OH. THERE IT IS! There’s the rub. Settle down? No. You’re asking me if I’m ready to settle. And there’s a difference.

A lot of people, both single and in relationships don’t like to talk about settling or settling down because most do not know the difference between the two. But I do. Settling down is different for everyone. Settling down is meeting the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and going off to live wherever you want doing whatever the hell it is the two of you want to do. Regardless of the “picture perfect” scenario so many people supposedly share that I described above. Now settling? Well that is you telling me that I have to do what you did by grabbing some chick and just getting married and having babies without falling in love. Without finding my partner in life. Maybe you found your soul mate and settled down. Or maybe you just found someone to settle with. I can tell the difference. Maybe you can. Maybe you can’t. That’s a debate for another day. All I’m saying is, I never “just settled” for anything in my entire fucking life. So I sure as hell WILL NOT just settle when it comes to the rest of my fucking life! My future. My happiness. Are you fucking crazy kid?! Stop it. Am I ready to settle down? Abso-fucking-lutely. My oats are sewn. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. Fuck I even took a T-blawg Pose pic while I was there baby! But will I settle? Oh hell no. I want to find the woman of my dreams and have little evil T babies one day. But if that never happens, then I will continue to walk this world on my own doing what I do to my very death. I am perfectly content with that over just settling. I give you my word. And my word is everything. Written or spoken.

“T, when are you going to settle down?” When I have found the reason that makes me love and want to settle down. That’s it. Because I will not settle. My life is pretty fucking awesome as is. Until that day when a woman makes it even more awesome and I am lucky enough to make her life pretty awesome too? Then I will keep the pace and will never settle. I am not one for mediocrity. I am not one to just be content. But I am also at the point I think where I have done everything I needed to do as a single man. So if I get that beautiful, funny, smart, caring, giving reason to settle down then I will settle down. If not, I got about a million reasons to not just settle. So you don’t need to ask me or any other single person when they are going to settle down anymore. Because now you know the difference between settling and settling down. Once again, thank me later.

Until next time. Always take it there.