T-pisode 192: My Flirting Disease

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If flirting to make a pretty girl smile is wrong then I'll never be right
If flirting to make a pretty girl smile is wrong then I’ll never be right

I can’t help it. I’m a flirt. It’s a disease. I need treatment. Maybe even a cure. Is there a rehab facility in the Boston area for flirters? Is there an FA? Flirters Anonymous or some shit? What am I going to do? This is who I am. It’s what I do. I’m Italian! We’re friggin’ charmers. We’re romantic. We speak the international language of love! It’s in my genetic makeup. I’m a man. I have a penis. I’m single. I love women. So of course I’m a damn flirt! There isn’t anything I won’t do to put a smile on a beautiful woman’s face. Especially if that woman is single. I don’t give a fuck. I’m relentless with my flirting and when I shoot, I shoot to kill baby. I’m like a surgeon with the way I flirt. I’m precise. I’m accurate. And I get the best results when I’m horny and looking to take a chick down. See? See all that shit I just said?! I have a disease! And I need help. I need to do something about my flirting.

Some people say I’m a ladies’ man. Some people say I’m going to be single forever. Some people say I date too much. Some people say I have a way with words. Some people say I’m funny. Some people say I’m charming. Well I blame all you sons of bitches for saying this about me because it has turned me into a flirting monster! I wasn’t always this way. This is something that I honed over the years. Especially in my 20s. I really turned my shit on when it came to women in my 20s. I put all my gifts together and used what Baby Jesus gave me and it worked. The problem is I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t know how to turn it off. It’s gotten so bad that most of the time I don’t even know that I’m flirting. Somebody usually calls me out on it and lets me know to reel it in. I’m sorry but is it wrong when a beautiful woman without a ring around her wedding finger has dark hair, blue eyes and the brightest smile that lights up the entire room because I know how to make her smile?! You should all be thanking me for that damn extra sunshine! Her beauty is a gift. My ability to bring it out even more is MY gift. Sure I flirt at work too much with the young cuties. Yes I make the hunnies “LOLz” on Twitter & Instagram with my charming compliments. Maybe I’ve been known to “Like” and leave a witty comment filled with sexual innuendo on a few ladies’ Facebook updates. So some of my texts to lady friends are filled with obvious “I want to bang you” vibes with one too many winky faces. And yes I’m single so I tend to date here and there and everywhere. But does that all mean I flirt too much??? Ok. Shit. You’re right. It does. And I honestly don’t know what to do about it. Part of me isn’t even sure that I should do anything about it. I mean can’t I just ride this out until I get married? No harm no foul right?

The fact that I’m starting to recognize that my flirting is out of control might be the first step. Besides, I don’t want to be THAT GUY who is seen by all women as the guy who just flirts with everything with two legs and should never be taken seriously. Because I don’t want that. I can be taken seriously. I want a serious relationship and I want to make sure that my charming attitude isn’t mistaken as being flirty and could unintentionally disrespect the woman I’m in a relationship with. That is the last thing I would want. So I am aware ladies. And I’m working on it. Eventually I hope to flirt my silly ass into the beautiful bosom of one special lady and then I’ll save all my best flirting just for her. I hope.


Until next time. Always take it there.