T-pisode 215: T Does Italy in 3 Paragraphs

*I’ve decided to do a series of T-pisodes that capture my travels throughout my life. In 3 paragraphs. I’ll post them every once in a while. Some places I’ve been to a few times, others only once. And some I will probably never go back to because of what went down there.

This trip was supposed to happen a year ago. I was supposed to finally take my mother to Italy, the country of my family on both sides. But my mother’s health then kept her from traveling and I ended up going to Paris with a girl instead. This time it was finally going to happen though. This time my mother finally got her very first passport. I enrolled in a two month Italian language course to refresh my tongue on a language that had faded from my family since my grandparents passed away on both sides. This was “THE” European trip I had waited for and I was extremely excited. My mother was even more excited than me. So the planes, trains, boats, car services, hotels and tours were booked in Rome, Florence and Venice. It was time for T & his “Ma” to finally do Italy!

It had been a very long time since I spent an entire week with my mother. Mind you this is the woman who raised a fresh Eastie kid into the grown man I am today without killing me all those years ago. My mother is strong, crazy, funny and has the best sense of humor. So naturally, we both drive each other nuts because we’re a lot alike. Italy was no different. First up was Rome. We stayed in a hotel next to the Trevi Fountain. We heard the water run from that beautiful fountain all day and night. There was a tiny limoncello shop around the corner where I met one of the most beautiful Italian women ever created. Too bad I was thinking about some other girl back home. She could’ve been my Italian “Godfather Michael Corleone Other Woman” and my enemies would’ve blown her up to make me suffer for sure. My mother and I walked all over Rome. All over. I did a T-blawg Pose in front of the Coliseum. We went to the Vatican and I snuck some pics on my phone in the Sistine Chapel while my mother did a horrible job of looking out because we got busted and pissed off the old security guards there. We made Baby Jesus cry for sure. A few days later we hopped on a train to Florence. My favorite city in Italy. It’s beauty is up there with Paris. I can’t write the words to describe the Duomo. You just have to see it in person. After a few days of eating and shopping all over Florence we jumped on another train to Venice. Now don’t get me wrong, Venice is a beautiful city. The “streets made of water” is a lot to take in at first but then it’s like “Ok cool. The streets are made of water. Meh.” Then it rained. Then it smelled. So if there was a bad way to take in Venice then that’s what we got. But it was still Venice, it was still Italy so you couldn’t have a bad time. It’s against Italian law. The food is unbelievable in Italy. From the Bellini to the wine to the primi to the secondi to the dessert to the limoncello all in one sitting! Then throw in a plethora of pizza, panini, cannoli and more gelati than one human should ever try to eat, you have yourself a vacation where you need to make sure you walk your American ass all over the country just to burn off all the damn calories. Surprisingly I actually lost weight out there so ha ha! And true to form, I had a few boss moments T “Euro” style of course. Including the VIP boat limo that took us to the airport from the hotel in Venice. That’s right…boat limo son. I also dropped made euros on Italian swag that I had to place in an Italian swag bag I bought out there just to smuggle all the contraband back into the States! And I got it all through customs hustler style. Still Eastie baby, what can I say?

But most importantly, my mother had the vacation of her life. She took so many pics with her five old school, Kodak Fun Saver disposable cameras. It was hilarious. I was happy I got to spend this time with my mother and that I got to do this for her. She made me do something else for her too while in Italy. I didn’t expect this. Especially after I drank an entire bottle of wine. But just like when I was 7 years old and my mother told me to be good so she wouldn’t have to worry about me while she had to work 3 jobs with my father in jail and I promised her I would go to school every day, she made me make one more promise. Instead of being in front of my elementary school in East Boston, this time we were eating an expensive dinner in front of the Pantheon in Rome. This time she told me to stop being an asshole and to get married before she got too old and eventually….. I stopped her. I didn’t want to talk about it or let her go on any further so I made my mother one more promise. This time I promised her I would stop fucking around and change my ways. I promised her I would get married. And me being me, I always keep my promises. So here we go. Next time I return to Italy I return with my wife. Now I have to. I loved Italy. But I love Boston the best.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T