T-pisode 313: T Does Memorial Day Weekend

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Just like Honest Abe, I tell no lies. And I’ll always smile when people don’t believe that statement. Oh well.
Just like Honest Abe, I tell no lies. And I’ll always smile when people don’t believe that statement. Oh well.


First, Memorial Day is all about the brave men and women in the armed forces who lost their lives defending the good ol’ U-S of A. So respect to all of them and respect to this great country. For all of those who have never served in the military, we get a three-day weekend. Some people tend to go away to beaches or to Miami or to Vegas for the long weekend or just sit around and BBQ and get drunk. Me? My Memorial Day weekends for some reason have been both intentionally and unintentionally full of some memorable moments. Good, bad, ugly and epic. In honor of Memorial Day, I am finally sharing some of those tales.

There was the Memorial Day weekend of the second year of living in the city for me. I lived in Back Bay in a place called “The Boss Condo.” I loved that place. But it was not a condo. I just liked calling it that to piss my friends off. LOLz. I was watching my friend’s puppy that weekend and went out drinking with a friend Friday night after work. After 72 hours of straight debauchery, by Monday I woke up and had a woman from Chicago crying at me, telling me she wanted to leave her husband and move in with me from everything I did with her that weekend. She was in love! Yeah, that was weird. And the poor puppy witnessed the whole thing too! My friend never forgave me for traumatizing her dog. Another year I had a girl go nuts on me in my new place. I picked her up. She stayed. We got into a text battle for like 48 hours and I never heard from her again. I totally mishandled that one. That was on me. My bad. In 2013…I packed my bags and spent 4 days in sunny California with a great lady friend in LA and then with my “West Coast Fam” in Newport Beach. I had way too much fun out there before coming back to Boston and destroying my body in my first Tough Mudder just two weeks later! Good times. Two years ago I spent the long weekend in DC and Philly with a woman I was crazy in love with when we left Boston, but not so much when we came back and to one hell of an unexpected ending. It was my first time in DC too and I still can taste that epic porterhouse I ate in “Bobby Van’s” directly across the street from Obama and the White House! Too bad my arm was torn to shit with nerve damage and I was in throbbing pain the entire time but hey…that physical pain was nothing compared to the crippling emotional pain that followed. LOLzzzzz. Stupid breakups. Last year I spent a part of the weekend watching my oldest and bestest bro dominate on stage in a bodybuilding competition. Dude was building for that moment his entire life and I was hella proud to spend the day watching his dream and hard work come to life on that stage. This year? This year I’m blind! Well not really. I’m going in for a Lasik procedure. Yep. I’m going to pay thousands of dollars to have a laser zap both my eyes and spend the weekend healing up hoping for some super powers. I just hope I don’t die “Final Destination” style. So like I said, my Memorial Day weekends are not normal. Hell no. But they are memorable.

So…you can have your cookouts. Your pool dips. Your lobster colored garbage man sunburns. Your way too many beers and games of cornhole. Enjoy your Vegas benders. Your South Beach hookups. Your Maine, Newport Rhode Island and your silly Figawi runs. Sleep in. Pass out. Facebook and Instagram all of it. Me…I’ll be doing something that only T can do. Every year. Whether I like it or not. But whatever you do, just make sure you know why we have the long weekend and be sure to pay respect in one form or another. Happy Memorial Day.



Until next time. Always take it there.