T-pisode 108: Why Guys Fight

In the 2 plus years T-blawg has been around I think I have touched on every manly topic possible. In depth. Except for fighting really. Now fighting is a touchy subject. Pun intended. It’s tough to talk about without sounding like a complete douche. Or a tool. Women don’t like fights. And men just think they are all a bunch of billy bad asses when it comes to fighting. I’m going to break down why guys fight and what type of fighter they usually are right here, right now. I’m going to put my man card on the table. Because that’s how I roll. I don’t bullshit. And I’m not going to start now. Men fight because of one thing and one thing only when you break it down. Ego. Men have crazy, sensitive, easy to set off egos. And there are 3 things that set off a man’s ego. Ready? Women, money and booze. Those are the 3 things that cause a man’s ego to make him want to fight. That get him into fights. I’m talking fisticuffs here people. Not bros arguing over some bullshit. I love Boston more than anything but I hate to admit that we are the worst place when it comes to dudes fighting. Most guys look to fight over the dumbest things. More so in Boston. I speak from experience. I’ve been in my fair share of fights and I’ve seen too many of them up close. Each of them have been because of ego regardless of the type of guys fighting. Here’s how and why men throw down and what type they are.

*Please remember this equation at all times while enjoying this T-pisode:
Women + Money + Booze > Ego = Anger < Fight

*It doesn’t have to make sense. It’s not calculus. It’s provocative. It gets the people going!

The Fighters:

There are guys who think they can fight.

There are guys who are afraid to fight.

There are guys who love to fight.

And then there are guys who can actually fight.

One way or the other, as a man you will find this out about yourself. The earlier in your life the better dude! And remember. Walk away. Walk away. Walk away until you can’t walk away anymore. Then you fight. It doesn’t go down like it does in the movies. It happens hard and fast or not at all. That’s what she said. Very rarely do you get to pull a “Hey yo Tommy. My ring’s outside.” and fight like Rocky in Rocky V.

Fighter 1: The guy who thinks he can fight
Perfect example? Ronnie from Jersey Shore! Any time you see a guy juiced out of his mind. Drunk in the club. Running his mouth. Taking the time to take off his watch. His chain. His Affliction shirt. He is all talk. He only throws down on dudes he knows he can hit once and then run away. He is a little bitch. He rather run his mouth like a clown or yell at his girl until she cries because he is a drunken roided out douche. He is also the guy who bumps into you on purpose for no reason trying to start something knowing that the bouncers are right there. Ignore him. He’s nothing. Fake muscles, fake tan, fake jewelry make you a tough guy not brother. He’s a pimple on the ass of real men. Unfortunately, there are too many dudes like him in this world.

Fighter 2: The guy who is afraid to fight
This is your buddy who never does anything when someone is disrespecting him or even his own girl right in front of him. He doesn’t like confrontation. So your own ego goes in triple overdrive as a man and as a good pal and you jump in for him. The problem is, this guy will get drunk enough eventually. He will have his own ego disrespected enough to the point where he is pushed into fighting. And he will get his ass kicked. Bad. Because you weren’t there and he decided to grow balls. It sucks. You don’t want him to get hurt. But he needs this beating. The sooner this happens the better for him. He is most likely your little cousin. Your nerdy co-worker. Or your pal who lets his girlfriend/wife verbally abuse the shit out of him. He’s a good guy. But has no heart for fighting.

Fighter 3: The guy who loves to fight
He fights all the time. He wins. He loses. He breaks bottles over heads. He gets bottles broken over his own head. He has scars. He gets arrested. He is most likely a degenerate gambler either owing someone money or trying to get more money. He may even be well off financially. He is most likely the guy who throws the first punch for no reason at all just because his ego is telling him he needs to be the toughest guy in the room and the only way to do it is to fight. Doesn’t matter if his girlfriend is there with him. If his kids are around. He doesn’t think. At all. He’s an animal. A good guy to know at a young age. But not when you’re older. And if you are this guy, your lifespan will be short.

Fighter 4: The guy who can actually fight
A guy who can fight hardly argues. He doesn’t get all puffed up and run his mouth. He stays calm. Maybe let’s it be known to the person to “Keep talking and watch what happens.” He is probably not even the biggest dude in the bar. He may have formal training. Or he may have had a bunch of street fights in his life. Maybe both. He may even be the fun pal but you see that look in his eyes and see his mood instantly change in front of you when he gets serious. It’s like a switch. He’s a different person. Mess with his money. Tell him you slept with his girl. Insult him the wrong way. You’ll find out that this guy can fight. And believe me. He will fight. No pushing and shoving. No getting loud. He will just go after you in the bar. In the house. At the game. Drunk. Sober. And if he doesn’t get to finish the fight, he’ll finish it outside. You’ll see how he stands. How he moves. How he squares up when it’s time to fight. Hands up. Chin down. Someone is about to get their ass kicked.

I hope I explained why guys fight. The types of fighters. What sets us off. Why we do it. It’s not cool. It’s not fun. But it happens to the best of us. So please fellas. Try to avoid fights before you end up getting your ass kicked.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

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