There’s something that I’ve always known about myself but I’ve only recently started to look at it from other people’s point of views. And that thing is I’m an all or nothing guy. I’m a go big or go home man. I don’t do anything half ass. The small stuff. The big stuff. The day to day shit. I’m all in baby! I’ve always liked that about myself and I’ve always ignored people when they would judge this beautiful trait of mine. When they would say that I’m intense. Or crazy. Or too much. But I’m getting older. I never used to care what most people thought of me but I’m starting to think that I should. Why? Because I think me being too much of me all the time is too much for some people to handle. Wait what? Yeah that made sense. Read it again. And some of those can’t handle too much T people I want to stop scaring away so easily. Or else, I’m going to be this guy (not THAT guy ) for the rest of my life without getting to that next step in my life. Not in life in general. Not in your life. But my life. T life. I just don’t know what that step should be quite yet. I have an idea though.
I’m not sure people if that next step is “Hollywood Blockbuster Billion Dollar T!” Or “Serious In A Relationship Possibly Married T.” Or “Should Be Locked Up In The Crazy Home On Serious Meds T.” Because in my eyes, those are the only 3 options for the next step in my life with the way I’m going! And when I write that shit out and read it…it sounds pretty fucking intense! Pretty scary! It’s too much! SHIT THEY WERE RIGHT!!! Soooo….I’m starting to think I need to make some changes. Sure I’ll never go the easy being content 9-5 job road. Or being a schmuck who is content with being average. Or boring. Or stupid. Or not extremely sexy and funny. But I also can’t keep on going down this road at 120 mph like some maniac on a natural 24 hour Red Bull high dropping Macho Man Randy Savage elbows on every chick I date; on every person I do business with; on every Joe Blow I meet out and about in Boston who gets in my way; or on every pal and family member. I need to reel it in juuust a little bit. So with that all said. I am apologizing to the world.
WAIT! Egocentric cocky T is apologizing?! YES! And I’m not cocky. I’m sick of that T misconception. I’m a confident guy who owns his shit. Throw in a crazy sense of humor and the fact that you’re reading words on a screen on an original entertainment life blueprint website and some of you may be getting the wrong picture! It’s confidence. Not cockiness. Now back on topic here. I was apologizing. I’m apologizing to every girl who I may have scared away in the past for being over the top too much at times. I’m apologizing to every dude who I belittled both verbally and some physically for being a little crazy at times. I’m apologizing to every business acquaintance that I pretty much told to go fuck themselves because I didn’t like the way they handled things. I’m apologizing to every friend and family member who I forced to either love all of me or hate all of me because that’s just the way I am….well now it’s the way I was. I can’t do all or nothing anymore in every aspect of my life. I just can’t. Some things I’m just going to call in. Chill out on. Just let them be without T putting his stamp on it. The all or nothing go big or go home days with everything in my life are done! I put out this T-pisode as a humbled man. So take this humbling apology one last time. Lessons learned world! I am sorry.*
*Those who matter and know me best….that was for you.
Until next time. Always take it there.
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While you should never apologize for who you are, it does take an grown up to own when they need to do so and actually do it.
This is one of my favorite posts of yours.
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