T-pisode 136: Imaginary Tough Guys

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Now Hacksaw Jim Duggan was a tough guy, tough guy! Hooooooo!!!!

I just had to do a follow up to this T-pisode and get right into it. This is one of those testosterone driven T-pisodes. For the guys. Ladies, this is not one of those “T turns me on in a ’50 Shades of Grey’ kind of way T-pisodes. So here it is. There are just way too many guys out there who think they are tough guys! Seriously. Guys who never did shit to make them tough. Who have never been through any challenges in life still thinking they’re tough. It’s all in your head! You are not tough bro. Slow down son. Why are you all puffed up?! Running your mouth. Bumping into dudes. Disrespecting women. I understand that you may be confused. That there are things you have done, have seen that may have you believing that you are tough. That you are hard. But you’re wrong. Honestly? You’re just a clown. You know what makes you tough? Years and years of grinding it out at life makes you tough. Coming from the gutter and making it up the mountain makes you tough. Making something from nothing makes you tough. Knowing that you are tough and not acting like you’re tough makes you fucking tough. Here is a list of things that have tricked you over the years into thinking you are a tough guy! This is to all the “Imaginary Tough Guys” out there. If you are one, smarten up. If you know one, share this shit with him. If you are a genuine, balls to the wall, hard working, stand up guy…then respect to you. This is for those other guys.


Texting, Tweeting & Facebooking threats over the internet doesn’t make you tough

Watching the UFC doesn’t make you tough

Having had a childhood in the suburbs with a loving family doesn’t make you tough

Watching your friend beat someone up doesn’t make you tough

Having a few tattoos doesn’t make you tough

Doing a few years in the can doesn’t make you tough

Alcohol sure doesn’t make you tough

Working out doesn’t make you tough

Knowing someone who is actually tough doesn’t make YOU tough

Beating up a woman doesn’t make you tough

That one fight you had in the 6th grade doesn’t make you tough

Dealing dime bags doesn’t make you tough

That one sucker punch you threw at that one guy in the club doesn’t make you tough

Jumping that one drunk dude with your 3 buddies doesn’t make you tough

That one time you pushed a guy at that concert doesn’t make you tough

Tilting your hat to the side doesn’t make you tough

Your ethnicity or the color of your skin doesn’t automatically make you tough

The kind of music you listen to doesn’t make you tough

The kind of clothes that you wear doesn’t make you tough

Swearing like a truck driver doesn’t make you tough

Being angry for no reason and lashing out at everyone you know doesn’t make you tough

Just because your dad/brother/cousin/best friend may be tough doesn’t make you tough

Driving a douchebag car doesn’t make you tough


So there it is. An angry T-pisode? Maybe. Call it what you want. I’m just calling out all the “Imaginary Tough Guys.” I just broke down your façade. Take a step back. Relax. Before a real tough guy slaps you in your mouth and breaks down everything you ever thought about yourself in a matter of seconds. Your entire psyche will be destroyed. There are real tough guys out there and these tough guys have no problem putting you in your place. You’ve been warned. Now go make some changes bro and lighten up. Thank you.


Until next time. Always take it there.



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  1. Maybe knowing someone who is tough doesn’t make you tough but hopefully they will save your life when some other imaginery tough guy kicks your ass.


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