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There are single bros. Married bros. And in relationship bros. Those are the 3 kinds of bros. And sometimes the normal “Bro Code” rules need to be tweaked according to the relationship and dynamic between said bros. The single bro and the married bro sometimes have to really adapt to make sure each bro has a great bro time while hanging out. Sometimes in a relationship bro and married bro have a better bro friendship than they do with single guy bro. There are a lot of bro situations people! And I’m going to bro it all up right here, right now. I present my Bro “Relationship Guy-Single Guy” Code. Bro Code, chapter 9.
Games
Two single bros can enjoy going to a game the most. No doubt. But when you bring along married and never gets to go out or know what the hell is going on currently with the team bro, this can be one awful time. Married/Relationship bros need to either turn off their phone to avoid the wife/girlfriend and enjoy the game or not waste the damn ticket and stay the hell home.
General Hanging Out
A lot falls on the single bro. Planning, driving, drinking, dinner, getting comped at places….putting together a great time for a bros night out! But it’s understood. Single bro goes out the most and has the most connections. That’s cool. What isn’t cool is when married and/or relationship bro do not appreciate what single guy bro is doing for the bro relationship all the time. Or when they take advantage of his good bro heart! All bros…chill the fuck out and just enjoy hanging out.
Vacations
Depending on the vacation destination it is always better for single bros to do it up together like in Vegas or SoBe and relationship bros with their honeys in Mexico or Disney. The mixing of said bros will never ever work. Respect the women. Respect the vacation. Respect your bros.
Road Trips
Now THIS is where all the different bros can have a great time!!! You throw in single bros, married bros, in a relationship bros into a car on a road trip and it is damn near impossible for the entire group not to have fun. Even I don’t know what it is exactly. There is something about dudes and the open road where fun just happens. Every bro needs to do this. Go on a road trip ASAP!
Dinner
This is a tough situation. Couples can handle this pretty well. See Bro Food Code. Single bros hardly go out to dinner together. Bar food during the game is usually considered dinner. But single bros should be able to go out for some steaks and stogies every now and then. If you mix up single bro and couple bro then the “Games” rule above still applies. Either enjoy yourself or don’t come out dude.
Wingman Still In Play
Doesn’t matter. Single, married, in a relationship. Doesn’t matter. Never forget!
Check-Ins
Single bros will check in everywhere. They like to let people know where they are. The only time a single bro will slow his roll on the check in is when he’s dating one chick a little more seriously than all the rest. He doesn’t want to burn bridges. Relationship and married bros shouldn’t even be checking in at all. Who the hell are you trying to impress? Trying to meet? Just chill son and let the single guys have this one. Put your phone away. We’ll check you in with us if you want. It’s cool essay.
Drinks
This is bizarro world 9 out of 10 times. You would think single bro would go all nuts and booze it up here. NO. This is where serious relationship and married bros act like total dicks most of the time. Because they never get to go out and go waaaay overboard with the drinking. They get drunk and ruin boys night out. So relationship bros, chill the fuck out ok?
Picking Up the Tab
Bro Money Code applies here of course. And when in doubt, if single guy initiated the night out with married guy then he should get the tab and vice versa. Sometimes single bro, relationship bro and married bro don’t hang out like they used to but it’s great when bros go out after a long time of not hanging out and just pick up where they left off. The tab shouldn’t even be an issue. Long overdue bro time is all that matters.
No Judging
We were all single bros at one time. Just because you are dating “The One” or married “The One” do not judge single bro. He’s still the same bro you always had bro love for! And single bro cannot hate or judge relationship or married bro because they settled and he still hasn’t been lucky with that yet. Thou Bros Do Not Judge Other Bros!
Being Whipped/Can’t Get A Chick Ball Busting
Buuuut….you CAN and WILL bust each other’s balls! That’s what makes us bros yo!
Taking the Blame
It doesn’t matter whose fault it was if we all end up in a ditch, in jail, divorced or in hell itself. We’re bros. Single guy doesn’t take the fall. Relationship guy doesn’t take the fall. Married guy doesn’t take the fall. We ride together, we die together. Remember that shit.
Eskimo Cousins
Most bros that run in packs are Eskimo cousins. Even if married guy hooked up with the chick 2 years ago that single guy is now hooking up with, you must give said bro full disclosure! He DOES NOT find out from the chick who he is Eskimo cousins with. NEVER.
Before You Go Out Text Me Disclaimers
Are you serious? No bro should ever have to text a bro what he promises he will or will not do later on that night when they hang out. This is some bullshit. Trust your bros regardless if he is crazy single bro or not. You’re your own man. No one put a gun to your head and made you act the fool bro.
Keep Your Mouth Shut!
And finally. Single bros. Relationship bros. Married bros. No matter what, always remember this: “You took your first pinch like a man and you learned the two greatest things in life. Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut.” -Jimmy Conway AKA Robert De Niro ‘Goodfellas’ 1990
So there it is. Always wanted to know the rules among bros who are in different relationship stages in life? Well now you know! Bro “Relationship Guy-Single Guy” Code explained. Documented. It is written so it shall be learned! Once again, keep this with you. Stick it on your car visor. Put it in your wallet next to that old, defective condom. Put it in your baby’s diaper bag. Whatever. Every bro needs these Bro Code chapters. They have saved lives people!
Until next time. Always take it there.
T
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