T-pisode 152: The Purge

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Oh if only it was this simple to get rid of all my exes.

Men and women handle the end of a relationship differently but we all go through “The Purge.” Oh yes, “The Purge!” The scale of “The Purge” depends on a few things. The length of the time together; How much you cared about each other during the relationship; How much you may hate each other at the end of the relationship; and how mature you are and/or insanely drunk you get at the time of “The Purge.” But T shits you not, we all go through it. Don’t lie yo. Back in the day and according to 80s romantic comedies, we’re supposed to just get this shoebox full of shit that we accumulated together that reminds us of that person and just walk over to a conveniently placed trashcan outside of our houses, dump out the shoebox, throw the shoebox into the trashcan, then wipe our hands in the air and walk away. Photos, concert ticket stubs, love letters, seashells…dump it out and you’re ok. WTF?! Stupid movies. Yeah right. This is real life and “The Purge” just doesn’t go down like that! Once again this is T-blawg and T is going to talk about how he handles “The Purge.”

Most of my purges in the past had me getting really drunk and going on benders with my boys then going on some tears with a few chicks. That was the past. Some of those purges were great to get over some good women and some really bad women. A purge that ended on a pretty good note where I didn’t get hurt too much had me at the gym more, the office more and writing more. Those are probably the best case purges for me. Sometimes I just go on a grumpy asshole purge. Those usually happen when the relationship didn’t end on my terms and when a good girl went bad that I didn’t see coming. Those sting the most so I tend to sting back. I mostly sting myself like an idiot though by doing things like sending unnecessary texts to said chicks. That’s where my Do Not Call Text Tweet Facebook rules can help. If not, I would do “Spite” Facebook comments not so obviously directed at the girl and “going out all the time because I am SO over you” check-ins. That’s if I didn’t delete them off of my social media stuff altogether. Childish right? I know. My most recent purge had me immediately come home, pick up my garbage can, dump all the shit she had in my place in it and then I contemplated setting it on fire. I contemplated setting her work on fire. I contemplated beating up every dude she knew. Because I could. Then set them on fire! Then I was all like “Really T? Calm the fuck down. You’re not that crazy, angry kid anymore. This is stupid.” And I did. I calmed down. Just like that. Because I’m grown now and my purges can’t be so dramatic anymore. There is no point. Little boys and chicks go all nuts on “The Purge.” So I just decided to get back to how my life was before I met her. There is an adjustment period of course but eventually you do get back to your life. This is also all a part of “The Purge” people. Believe me.

You have to go through some sort of purge. Whether by choice or by the world making you go through it one way or another. I can’t tell you how you should purge. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way. You just have to go through it and hope to come out of it a better person. Lessons learned. Clean slate. And a bunch of memories both good and bad that will stay with you. That’s life. The problem is you will meet the next one and will most likely have to go through another form of “The Purge” because of them. Eventually…or so I’ve been told, once you meet the ONE you no longer have to worry about “The Purge.” You have to worry about “The Marriage” AKA “The Death.” HA! I kid. Not really. Hey, I’m still purging. T-blawg is one big purge if you haven’t figured that shit out yet.


Until next time. Always take it there.




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