T-pisode 118: Bro Code Chapter 7-Bro Do Not Call Her Code

The 7^th chapter of T’s Bro Code is a seriously underrated one. It is a very important part of the Bro Code. This chapter deals with the women in our bro world that we no longer should have in our bro world. Women that we once loved. Liked. Lusted. Banged. But now we no longer want any part of. But sometimes in a moment of weakness we reach out to them. Whether we’re lonely. Horny. Desperate. Drunk. Or sometimes just bored. Bros, you need to remember why these women no longer fit in our lives. Some are bad women. Some are good women but nothing good will come from them anymore. Some of their shit we probably brought upon ourselves. Any way you put it this chapter is about the women we should no longer have any contact with. We got the no physical contact down but yet we still have them in our phones “just in case.” On our Facebooks “just to see them.” Following on Twitter to “see what they’re saying.” Bottom line, these women need to be on our “Do Not Call” lists!!! A little “*DNC” next to their names in your phone bro! Don’t delete them altogether because she might call or text you and you will probably respond in a moment of weakness wondering who is behind that unrecognizable number! Put these 3 letters next to her name and that will remind you, prevent you from making a mistake! I personally have what I call my infamous “DNCTTFB” list. Which stands for “Do Not Call Text Tweet Facebook.” Below is a list of women and why they should be on your “DNC” list.

 

All exes
Come on bro. This goes without saying! There’s a reason they’re exes. All of them. You’re not going to recapture the magic. It’s over. You don’t need or want them in your life anymore. Unless you want them to burn your clothes or boil your bunny do not talk to any of them. ANY OF THEM!!! *DNC

All female co-workers
Sometimes a female co-worker gets into your phone. For work or personal reasons. Sometimes you find her attractive. The shit will hit the fan in the office eventually if you try to initiate something. Trust me! *DNC

The drunk chick
Sure she was fun. She was a good time. But how many times do you want this chick puking on your couch and pissing in your bed? You had a good run. *DNC

The booty call chick
You probably have a few in your phone. Not saying to “DNC” them all. Use your best judgment. But most booty calls are only booty calls and not dating/relationship chicks for a reason bro. *DNC

The young chick
She’s hot. She has a flawless body. She can bang all night. Aaaand you will soon find out that she is a bat shit crazy drama causing psycho. *DNC

The Fadeout chick
Bitch. *DNC

The crazy chick
Really?! Wait. You knew she was crazy upfront?!  You cannot undo the crazy bro. Many bros before you have tried. You’re not special. Sorry my man. Walk away. *DNC

Your boys’ exes
Sometimes even your boys’ exes end up in your phone. On your Facebook. Nothing good will come from this. They’ll try to come between you and your bro. *DNC

The 3 date and she still didn’t bang you yet chick
What are you a fucking charity dude? Stop it. *DNC

The “I don’t know where this is going” chick
Oh you don’t honey? Well I know where it’s going. Straight to the *DNC

The bipolar chick
No bro deserves the hot-cold-hot-cold-hot-cold from a chick. If you’re a real man then you deserve a consistent chick bro. Remember that. Always. *DNC

Her friends/family tell her what to do chick
She knows you but her sister, friend, cousin, whatever don’t know you. But yet she listens to them over her own head. Her own heart. Her own vagina. Fuck that. *DNC

Never texts you back chick
She doesn’t have the balls to tell you she isn’t into you bro. She thinks she’s too nice but really she just sucks. So I’ll tell you. She ain’t into you bro. Cut your losses. *DNC

She didn’t want you in high school/college but wants you now chick
Yeah you know you are the shit right? You thought so then and you think so now. Where was she before? You can totally give her a “hate fuck” but that’s your call. I won’t judge you. But I would just put her on the *DNC

Never takes your calls chick
She’s banging another dude. No really. She is. *DNC

That different time zone long distance chick
She is too. *DNC

She always has an excuse chick
Maybe she is banging another dude. Maybe she is trying to figure out what she thinks about you. Maybe she is just retarded. Any way you put it she is a waste of time. *DNC

She wants to bang your boy and not you chick
What are you a fucking middle man? Put this shit on your boy and go find a chick of your own bro. *DNC

Can’t get out of the friend zone chick
You’re a man. You have enough friends. You know you want to be more than friends with her but she doesn’t. If you can’t accept that you are not a real man bro. *DNC

Nothing in common why is she in my phone chick?
These stragglers end up in our phones. On our social media shit. They’re like pet projects. I have no explanation for them. Just fucking *DNC

Says she “wants to hang out with you” but just wastes your time chick
No she doesn’t. Saying she wants to hang out and actually hanging out are two different things. Tell her to go bake some more fucking cupcakes and play on Instagram some more. Your ass is going out to get laid! *DNC

 

So there it is my dudes. The latest Bro Code chapter. This one will help you filter out all the chicks in your phone whether it’s a contact list, Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare whatever. We’re men. Treat yourself right. And like with all Bro Code chapters, print this, save it and carry it with you at all times. Because you’ll need it when you need to “DNC” the next chick. And believe me, you will.

 

 

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

 

 

 

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