T-pisode 201: T Became A Season Ticket Owner

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Tom Brady does not give a fuck what you think!
Tom Brady does not give a fuck what you think!

I am a Boston sports fan. Oh of course you all know this shit by now! And if you’re new to T-blawg, first where the hell have you been? And second, um did you not notice the B on my hat? If you need further references check here or here maybe even here or here and definitely here. Get it? Good. I have a lot of Boston sports stories and memories that I will cherish forever. And I still haven’t even told my epic Jason Giambi war story yet. Fucking Giambi. I have been to so many games and I’ve had seats in all the Boston teams’ homes. Fenway Park, Gillette Stadium and of course, The Boston Garden. I’ve had season game packages of 5-10 games. I’ve thrown in on quarter season ticket seats. I’ve bought out entire rows for Marathon Monday Red Sox games! But I’ve never had my own season tickets, until now.

Football. The Patriots. Fall. Three of my favorite things. Fall Patriots football season is by far my favorite time of the year. It’s football season. It’s Hollywood pitch season. The weather is amazing. And Boston has a very small window before Winter rushes in when everything is colorful and crisp. It’s a busy time of the year for me but I love it. Because my relief comes every Sunday when football fans put the “F-U” into Sunday Funday. WE created Sunday Funday. Men. And football. Don’t shit yourselves young college kids and skanky hoes that love to day drink & bang random dudes on Summer Sundays! Us manly football lovers created fucking Sunday Funday! We just never gave it a name. So when I’m not out at the bar drinking and watching my Patriots I usually end up at about 5-6 Pats home games a season and that’s not even including an occasional away game or the playoffs. Last year my oldest & closest Eastie bro and I bought a bunch of games off of a pal of his. The seats were sick! So when he came to me this past Summer and said “T, you want to buy the season tickets of the seats we sat in all last season?” Of course I said yes. While my name is not on the tickets, I now own those seats. Cash money homie! Sign, sealed and delivered. My buddy and I became New England Patriots season ticket holders. A lifelong dream come true. Now I’ve had opportunities to buy other season tickets before but baseball, hockey and basketball seasons have a lot of fucking games and the seasons are long as shit. Football home games are only 8 games over the course of 4 months and at least 7 of the games are on Sundays. I’m a busy fucker so this made the most sense for me as far as commitment went. And we all know about my commitment issues! I’m talking about relationships here. Oh, you got it? Ok. Plus football games take a lot out of you man! Like relationships. ZING! You are tied up for the entire Sunday. Driving to the stadium. Tailgating. The game itself. Postgaming. Booze. Food. Strip clubs. Casinos. Driving home. It’s a fucking event! But it is kind of a big deal to be a season ticket holder. For reals.

Again, I got the tickets because I love my teams. I love the Pats. I love football. But when you tell someone you have season tickets especially when the seats are awesome, people look at you different. Like you’re the President of the United friggin’ States or something! I shit you not. Dudes have penis envy and chicks want yo’ penis even more! So being a season ticket holder has a shit ton more perks than just the games themselves. I work my ass off and I work everything & every angle that makes me who I am. So of course I let it be known that I own season tickets. Why the fuck not?! I busted my ass to get here and it’s MY money that paid for these expensive seats so sure I use them in my lady flirting arsenal. Chicks love that shit. And men want to be that shit. The first game I ever went to was a Red Sox game and I sat in an $8 bleacher seat. So I absolutely deserve my ridiculous Patriots season ticket field seats. I’m humbled, proud and fucking awesome all at the same time. No apologies will be given from T. Nothing but awesomeness as I enjoy this football season just a little bit more baby. I deserve this and it will be known.


PS…this T-pisode is going up the day after both the Patriots and Red Sox made two of the greatest comebacks in sports history in the same day. I love MY teams.


Until next time. Always take it there.