All married men have given the old me this one piece of advice… “Never get married.” Um ok. As I have become older and more open to finding a good one and possibly getting married they have changed that advice to this… “Fine. If you want to get married you have to find a crazy you can handle.” Um ok. For the sake of this T-pisode I’m going to go all hypothetical on your asses and try not to offend like I used to in the early days of T-blawg. For the next two paragraphs we’re going with “all women are crazy” and “all men are assholes.” Let me state my case.
At this point in my life at the age I now am, I have crossed paths with many women. That has all been well documented here. As a writer I have to reflect upon my life constantly whether it’s for material for this site, my book or a script. The women living in the archives of my history are always being visited. That’s the life of a writer willing to be honest and wanting to share his life with others. Now when I look back, back back or even recent back, yes all of these women have had some sort of crazy. For sure. Some like super crazy and some like little odd crazy and some with the “what the fuck?” crazy. Once I figured out the crazy, the relationship ended. If I didn’t figure out the crazy, their crazy somehow found the asshole in me and the relationship still ended. Basically, one way or another both the crazy and the asshole have always ended my relationships. Casual, serious or other this is what ended them all. And I’m willing to bet if you take a moment then you will realize as men that your asshole helped end your relationships too. Or your crazy ended them as women. Or both your asshole as men and your crazy as women combined and ended that shit together! Yep. Take a moment. Reflect on that shit. See that epiphany you just had??? You’re welcome. The recent women in my life had crazies that ranged from only wanting to live life and date someone within like a 4 block radius of her home, family and job. She lived in an unhealthy bubble. Thought I could handle that crazy. It was the most serious relationship of my life. But I was wrong. Her crazy ended us. Never even brought out my asshole. I was proud of that part. After her I’ve dealt with a “my doctor says I’m a sex addict” stalker crazy; a stage five clinger crazy; a “I’m young and when I get drunk I need you T but I’m going to cry again and open up about my life to you now but totally avoid you when I’m sober tomorrow” crazy; a “we have a shit ton in common but I don’t need a man in my life because I have my career, my pet and my walls up instead so I’m good” crazy; and a plain “my life is just really busy right now and I don’t know who or what I want exactly” crazy. See? And those are just the recent ones! So I still haven’t found a crazy I can handle I guess. Maybe I never will.
Most of these women didn’t really get to see the asshole in me because I’ve matured a lot but I’m still a guy and I do still have asshole tendencies. And I’m not sure all my married guy friends are right about finding a crazy you can handle and finding a woman who can put up with the asshole in me. I think it goes back to two things really. Not the crazy and the asshole but the love and the compromise. I think when the love starts to grow you are willing to deal with her crazy. She is willing to deal with your asshole. You both compromise on things and the relationship grows past all the shit like her crazy and your asshole. A relationship should allow for all sides of you to be shown to each other. You both expose yourselves. You both get to see the good and the bad. It takes time. You put up with all sides of each other because you love each other. Maybe that’s what it is. And maybe I just didn’t get that far yet?
Until next time. Always take it there.