I have written a lot of original words, shared personal philosophies, captured my daily sayings, established both my insanely disciplined and unorthodox rules and coined several of my own phrases here and pushed them all out into the world during my time here on T-blawg. Today I’m adding one more to the T-blawg vernacular. And that is “filler people.” And yes, filler people ties into the world of dating, sex and relationships. Three all-time popular topics here on T-blawg for sure. What are filler people? They are simply the people you date or hook up with or get into relationships with that just fill a spot in your life that you needed at that time. But they are not the “real” thing. Oh no.
There are so many people in this crazy, beautiful world. Sometimes we come across some good ones who just find their way into our lives and find this “spot” in your life. A spot in your head. A spot in your heart. A spot in your bed. A spot into your dating routine. A spot into your daily routine. And they just stay there. Because you need that. You need them. Sometimes it’s glaringly obvious that they are only filling a “temporary” spot and sometimes it is not so obvious until they either no longer want to fill that spot; you no longer need that spot filled; or someone else comes along and fills more spots than they did. Get it? They are filling a need. A want. Physical needs. Emotional needs. The attention given by them is something that is convenient to your life in between the next “big thing.” But all of it is just temporary attention. There isn’t any substance to build on. It’s a fix. In my time I have DEFINITELY been a filler person to a lady or two or three. And some were filler people to me. The fillers in recent memory… I liked giving her attention because of her eyes and her love for the Patriots and fitness. I liked when the other one got drunk and came over for the night. I liked dating the other one and seeing her when we could fit into each others’ schedules. The texts everyday and night made me smile. I made her smile. The sex from the other was great. The drunken cuddles and pillow talks with the other one felt good in their own right too. Each filled a spot for me. Or two. Or three. And I filled some for them. You’re not really dating a filler person. You’re not just hooking up with filler people. Sex isn’t a spot. That’s a need. Don’t get it twisted. And you’re certainly not in an actual relationship with a filler person. No. You’re an adult so “just talking” no longer puts points up on the scoreboard. Counting the people you had sex with just for the “numbers” stopped years ago. Now it’s all about the in between, that comes and goes until you find someone you really have a connection with. That you really want to date. That you end up in a real relationship with. Where you both develop real feelings for each other. Everything else is just…well…filler.
At my age I have no problem with filler people. I recognize that’s what they are whether I speak on it or not. Dating and being single as long as I have has given me an UNCANNY ability to read someone. To read their faces, their body language and their intentions. To know what they are really saying even when their spoken words are saying the opposite. And to read between the lines. The between the lines is sometimes where that spot resides. Where they like to stay until it’s time to move on. Filler people, you know them. You have been one. Now they just have a name and a definition. Now find the spots you have filled and need filled and move on to someone else. Once again, thank me later.
Until next time. Always take it there.