T-pisode 356: Perfect Dating

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Perfect dates and perfect sunset pics are two things I do really, really well, ladies. You want some of this now?!?! Yeah…you do. Well get in line! LOLzzz.


Tom Brady is the football GOAT. Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time. Not Lebron. Sorry Millennials. And ol’ T over here will go down in the dating history books when my dating career is all said and done as the greatest dater of all time. My jersey will hang in the rafters after I retire and go into the dating hall of fame. There is no denying it any longer. I am the very best at this dating thing. I said dating. Not relationships. Cause that’s a different game altogether yo. LOLz.

Brady went #199 in the NFL draft. Michael Jordan went #3 in the NBA draft. Neither of them was the top pick in their respective sport. They weren’t tagged with the “greatness” title like that HANDED to the unproven and overrated Peyton Manning and Lebron James in the same leagues. Tom Brady and Michael Jordan became great not just from winning titles and breaking records. Not just from elevating and leading the teammates around them. They also busted their asses. They practiced and practiced and practiced. Jordan was and Brady is the first person in the gym and on the field and the last person out the gym and off the court. Practice makes perfect. They take it serious enough but make sure they have fun so they never stop enjoying it. And that’s how I’ve always approached dating. With love for the game. I’ve always loved dating so I made sure to be the best at it that I possibly could. I dated a woman on and off for about a year and a half and she once said to me “This was the greatest date of my life. Thank you so much.” You’re goddamn right it was. Because that’s what I do. I date. And she wasn’t the only woman to say that to me. I’ve perfected the shit out of dating and the key to that is this…date…a lot. Date all types of women. Go on all types of dates. When a date goes well, remember why. When a date goes bad, remember why even more. Perfect your game. Be honest. Be attentive. Have fun. Enjoy. Tom Brady didn’t start his NFL career with a perfect spiral winning Super Bowl after Super Bowl. Michael Jordan didn’t enter the NBA with the perfect dunk that made him look like he was walking on air. They worked at it. They perfected it. I’ve perfected dating.

There’s a reason why I know all the great restaurants in Boston. What tables to get on which nights. There’s a reason why I can get tickets to any game, concert or show. There’s a reason why I know the perfect romantic paths to take through the Boston Common, Public Garden, and Commonwealth Avenue Mall. I know how to combine the right place for drinks with the right place for dinner with the right place to follow for dessert. Mix in a VIP museum exhibit or warm weather roof deck and the possibilities of the course of the date are endless. I pick the woman up with a smile on my face and she will later get dropped off with an even bigger smile on hers. And like Tom Brady, I’m not showing any signs of slowing down with age. But unlike Michael Jordan, I would like to retire on top wearing the 2-3 and not have to ever come back wearing the 4-5.


Until next time. Always take it there.