T-pisode 140: Bitter Bitch….A T-style Poem

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Save your tears for the next sucker honey. I’m OUT!

It’s been a while since I did some T-style poetry. Remember this? But I was recently inspired. This poem is for all the angry, miserable women out there who hate every guy, hate every woman living a better life than them and blame everyone but themselves for their problems. There’s no need to be this way yet that’s how you are. So….here baby, this one is for you. And you. But mostly…YOU!

While I will treat a lady like a lady and no real man wants to call a chick a bitch,
But if your ass is real bitter & angry honey I will be sure to call it like it is

You think you’re better than all the rest,
Why? You have no brain, no ass and such little breasts!

Even you hot ones, a guy will only put up with your shit for oh so long,
Just so you know we too have options, other chicks will do stuff to our ding dongs

Put down the 50 Shades of Gray! And you’re not a Kardashian stop acting so fake!
Unless you want to make a porno like Kim? Oh now who just got put in her place?

Don’t be mad at us men because you feel old and can’t succeed at life,
Besides, your younger cousin was hotter, dumber and could bang all night

It’s not our fault you have an addiction to cupcakes and won’t go to the gym,
I’m there every day working my ass off so on the weekends I can get it in.

You’re fucking delusional if you still think you’re the best I can do and that you can shit ice cream,
The fact of the matter is, you’re not and when I see you naked I don’t know whether to hide or scream

No one is saying you have to settle for just some guy, but you refuse to compromise,
You think you’re good though because you’ll just get another cat once this one dies

I’m not saying you have to be a ten, but with that attitude you’re more like a negative seven,
You turn every relationship into a hell when all us guys want to do is give you heaven

Stop talking about how you want just one guy to be different than all the rest,
You keep dating the same douchebag type and you deserve what you get

Go back to your 6 pints of ice cream while you cuddle your dog and blame the world,
I thought you were a classy woman but instead I got an insane, miserable little girl

You’re not a damn princess! You’re more like the ugly step sister so stop it with that nonsense!
All the shots you’re drinking at the bar will not get you a prince and castle, because you belong in the projects

You didn’t offer to pick up the check once, that’s why I stopped calling you after date four,
I never would’ve let you pay but an act of kindness is better than being an ungrateful little wh…

Bore! But don’t be mad honey, T had to break it down for all the world to see!
You claim you want a real man, love, truth and some honesty?

No you don’t, you are a waste of time and can’t handle a real man,
My advice to you? Look in the mirror and change your ways as fast as you can

This is for all you miserable women, T leaves you with this,
Remember that no guy…not a damn single one, ever wants to be with a bitter bitch.


Until next time. Always take it there.




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