T-pisode 240: Happy Birthday Ma

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Tens of thousands have done this in the last 5 years but this is by far my favorite T-blawg Pose
Tens of thousands have done this in the last 5 years but this is by far my favorite T-blawg Pose

Two birthday tribute T-pisodes in three weeks? Yep. Just like my cousin, my mother is hitting a milestone birthday this week and I thought it was time to give her a special T-pisode of her own. My mother doesn’t read T-blawg. She hardly even understands the internet. But she knows T-blawg exists and thinks that people are crazy for reading my stories and for doing “your stupid hat thing” as she likes to call it. I’ve written about my mother many times here on the site but I never wrote a T-pisode all about her. So I’m going to do my best to give the greatest mother of all time a very special birthday tribute. No one deserves it more than her.

My mother is a second generation East Boston woman. So that means she has “tough” in her DNA. She is the funniest, craziest, most easy-going person you could ever meet but she is also absolutely one of the strongest and toughest people I have ever known. Where did I get my drive and fear of sleep? How about watching my mother get up at 5AM to go care for and bath elderly people then go to her job at Burger King which she did for the extra income and to make sure I always had a place to have my birthday parties then to her job at the local grocery store. She never slept. She never complained. She always worked. She just did what she had to do to take care of her two kids. Give her a couple of cups of coffee and bingo a few nights a week and she was good. I would always tell her that when I made it big that I would take care of her and she would always say “I don’t want anything. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” Growing up my mother was my mother, my father and my best friend. I was absolutely the stereotypical Italian mother’s boy. I was always up my mother’s ass. There wasn’t anyone that I wanted to make laugh more than my mother. I busted her balls all the time. Out of love. Anyone who didn’t know our relationship would probably think that I was the worst son and she was the worst mother the way we talked to each other. I would always call her by her first name with “Ma” being a distant second. She would call me “asshole” or “pain in the ass” mostly followed by her telling me to “get the fuck outta here” with the biggest smile on her face. We’re still that way with each other. My mother would always tell me that I was smarter than the other kids. That I had something most Eastie kids didn’t. She told me to go to school and get good grades and to not be an asshole. A lot. So I listened. Most of the time. I never had rules or a curfew she just told me “Don’t ever call me from jail or the hospital” so I never did. I always worked, got straight A’s, had perfect attendance and always gave her money when I could. But she never knew about half the shit I did outside of school because I never wanted to add more stress to her life. I remember her having her first operation when I was 8 years old. Then again when I was 16. And two years ago. And 6 weeks ago. She beat cancer twice and is besting neuropathy. I don’t know how she does it. Her heart and strength is what keeps my family together. I know that I should’ve went down another road in life but because of her I didn’t. I couldn’t. The last thing I could ever do is let my mother down and because of her I am the man I am today. So thank you so much Ma. For everything. For showing me how to laugh when times are tough. For showing me that nobody owes me shit and that I have to work for everything. For showing me that I should ALWAYS put the people I love ahead of myself. For staying in the hospital with me when I was sick as a baby. For always believing in me. For bringing me with you every Saturday to see dad in prison to keep me out of that life. For making sure I didn’t piss away my life like so many kids I grew up with. For always having food on the table and clothes on my back. For not killing me when I was bad! But mostly for making a tough life a little easier for your crazy, hot-headed, wiseass son.

It’s tough to get my mother anything for her birthday. She will honestly say “Don’t get me shit!” every birthday and holiday. She just loves it when the family gets together and we sit around and laugh and bust balls. My mother doesn’t ask for anything so if she just wants to laugh then I will put the biggest smile on her face. She is my biggest fan and thinks I’m the funniest asshole around. I know all the gifts, money and trips to Italy will never make my mother smile as much as me sitting across from her and busting her balls like only I can. So happy birthday Ma. After this year and the life you’ve lived you deserve to be happy not only on your birthday but every single fucking day of your life. Nobody deserves it more than you. Nobody.

“And even though I act crazy, I gotta thank the Lord that you made me.”

Until next time. Always take it there.

T