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January 2008… I lived in East Boston my entire life then spent 9 years living in Revere. I had accomplished a lot and nobody had murdered me up until that point. But I had a lot more I needed to do in life. So I had a conversation with my sister whose in-law apartment I had lived in since college. I had a conversation with my cousin who I went to for advice on pretty much everything. I told them both it was time for me to move into the city. I had a list of “To Dos” and I had convinced myself that I needed 5 years to check them all off my list and the only way I was going to do it was to move away from my closest friends and family and become the man I truly believed I was meant to be. It was time for me to grow up. It was time for me to move into Boston.
Three months later I was living in an expensive apartment on an expensive street in Boston’s most expensive neighborhood, Back Bay. I went big out of the gate. It was how I rolled. My apartment became the epicenter of business during the day and mayhem at night. My next door neighbor was insanely hot. She came over often. Down the street was my college homegirl. We partied all the time. Tom Brady lived on my street and I saw Tommy a lot. I was deep in the mix. And I LOVED it. This WAS my new life. I worked hard. Partied harder. What about those “To Dos” you ask? Move into the city…check. Build a professional & social network…check. Get on every Boston movie set…check. Turn a contract gig into a full-time 6 figure career…check. Date and hook up, a lot…check. Pitch scripts in Hollywood, a lot…check. Travel the world…check. Pay off all student loans & debt….check. Go out every night with my “city” friends….check. No more just lifting weights and learn anything new like Muay Thai, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, dirty boxing….check. Go to every single Red Sox/Bruins/Patriots/Celtics game that I want to…check. Get on every list, know every doorman, and befriend every GM & owner in every hot spot in Boston….check. Start a social media company and after it fails still have a hit website by the name of T-blawg…check. Spoil the shit out of the people I love…check. And allow myself no time for serious relationships because I have to focus on me and be alone to do all of this….check. That last one was the only mistake. I know that now. Every single damn “To Do” was checked off my list and they were all done in those first 5 years after the big city move. And when I woke up one day at the end of that fifth year the jerk finally realized he somehow became a gentleman. I built from that hard work. Off of all that craziness. Off of all those accomplishments. All those failures. All the mistakes. But I was exactly where I wanted to be. I was a new man. A grown man. I wasn’t T-Dog anymore. And I found myself asking “What’s next?” What do I have left to accomplish as a single man in this world? Where do I go from here? That was the billion dollar question. That was the 500 pound elephant in the room. Nobody asked me if I could do all those things that I did the last 5 years. Nobody was asking me what’s next either. But I was asking myself. Where do I go from here in my life? What is next for me?
August 2014… It’s my birthday month once again and I always reflect around my birthday. This week is my actual birthday and I realized that I spent the last year of my life changing some of the things I embraced during those 5 years I just wrote about. While my ambition and work ethic didn’t change, my views on family, relationships, dating, romance, love and life have in many ways. Those changes have been well documented here on this site. While reflecting I realized that this site became something else and now I’m writing a book about it; I’ve had Hollywood on the hook a few times; I’ve visited places around the world that nobody from my childhood neighborhood has ever seen. So on this birthday and at this point in my life I’m ready to move on from those 5 years. I don’t need to prove anything to young, single T anymore. I did it. I did it all. So where to from here? For grownup T? A serious relationship…marriage…kids…writing as a career…moving out of the city to the suburbs? Is that my next chapter? Is that what’s next? Possibly. I don’t know. I just know that I’m done asking what’s next and I am going to make it happen. I’m not the type to sit still. Once I figure out what’s next, I’m coming for it. I’m coming for it all just like I did when I made up my mind to move into the city all those years ago. It’s still how I roll. I’m gonna get mine. Always have. Always will. That next chapter….time to write it. Happy birthday to me.
Until next time. Always take it there.
T
T-blawg 