T-pisode 298: The Counteroffer

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Your dating intentions and overall communication should be clear. Like this close up of the water here. Then the big picture should fall into place. See what I did there?
Your dating intentions and overall communication should be clear. Like this close up of the water here. Then the big picture should fall into place. See what I did there?


I’m going to give a couple of dating rules/moves/guides some real names here. I try to take the things we all do when it comes to dating and give them names. I guess I like branding. I’m breaking this dating venture into two parts. Here with T-pisode 298 I’m going to define “The Counteroffer” then next Monday I’m going to define “The Callout” leading into the historic 300th T-blawg T-pisode on Monday, February 29, 2016. Leap Day. Boom.

What is “The Counteroffer” when it comes to dating? “The Counteroffer” is simply to dating what it is to business. It is a negotiation. A negotiation between two interested parties. For example, when you ask a woman out you should come with a set date and plan. It shows true interest, confidence and it shows that you know exactly what you want as a man. “I’d like to take you out Thursday night to this great sushi restaurant that I know. Should I pick you up at 8?” Straight to it. Now here’s where it can get tricky. If she’s into you and wants to see you, she will accept. If she’s not, regardless of her reason(s), she should tell you right then at that moment she is not interested at all. If she is interested but says “I can’t Thursday night.” she should give you “The Counteroffer.” Such as, “I can’t Thursday night, BUT how about Friday night?” There it is. Someone interested in you who truly can’t make it out the night of your first date offer WILL come back with a counteroffer. If she ends the conversation without another offer on the table, she is most likely not interested in you. HOWEVER, some women are shy. Are introverted. Some actually have other commitments. And some just don’t “know” how to date properly. Just like a lot of men. It’s ok. It happens. SO, you gotta nudge with your own counteroffer. If you just get “I can’t Thursday night.” then you must try ONCE with “No problem, I totally understand. I don’t have any plans Friday night, yet. How about Friday night?” If she comes back with another excuse AND without a counteroffer, then you move on from her. She isn’t interested at all but is too nice to tell you outright. The key to early dating is finding that area of interest but not too much interest. Eager but not too eager. But if you spend more time focused on those checks & balances than you are actually dating and seeing each other, then it just becomes work. And dating someone shouldn’t be work. There should be equal interest, solid communication and both of you should be able to talk and plan the next date. We all need to understand, use and respect “The Counteroffer.” And now you all know why.

I’ve been on both sides of “The Counteroffer” in the dating game. It still blows my mind how many grown adults don’t know about it. Especially adults who find the time to get their work done, get to the gym, run errands, spend time with family, see friends, eat, sleep, watch TV, etc. on a daily basis. We all have things to do. We have our lives to live. We all should respect that the people we are dating also have things to do. Some of us have more things to do actually but find a way to make dating plans. Remember, if you are interested then you have to use “The Counteroffer.” Now make the date and go have some damn fun. Tell ‘em T sent ya. And next week, you WILL all know about “The Callout.”


Until next time. Always take it there.