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It took me a while to sit down to write this one. Three years to be exact. But I felt I finally had to capture what it felt like to go through a breakup. Now I’m not talking about a regular break up where some woman and I stopped dating or talking or hooking up. I’m talking about what it felt like to love someone and how I felt when that love just stopped. Being in love and going through a breakup is one of the most powerful experiences of your life. And even though it sucks, we all should go through a few. I went through one. That’s right. Only one. Because she was the only one I ever loved more than I loved myself. To me, that’s being in love. When it stopped I can only describe it as heart wrenching. It’s like you swallow and there’s nothing there. Your stomach feels empty. Not empty because there’s no food in it. Just empty. You feel like you’re falling and no one can catch you. No matter what the people around you who care about you say or do, you just keep…falling. When you hit the bottom you’re still not ready to stand back up and it just feels like the world started back up again and kept going on without you in it. You’re not moving. You’re just standing still. That’s the breakup. The recovery is a separate experience and I’ll leave that for another day. But going through a genuine heart crushing breakup kills your fucking soul man. And even years after you have recovered…and loved again…and moved on, you never get a part of your soul back from that. Never. It stays in that breakup abyss. The breakup feels…according to ol’ T.
How accurate is my depiction of a genuine, love ending, painful breakup?
Until next time. Always take it there.
T
T-blawg 