T-pisode 379: Grown Man Shit – The Bachelor Party

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T-pisode 379
A photo taken from an actual bachelor party I attended recently. Notice the blatant ambiguity of it? Exactly.


*A T-blawg series tailored to fit the modern-day man… Basically a new series that is a “Grown Man Shit” perspective on MY “Bro Code” chapters and then some!!!


The bachelor party is a rite of passage for every man who falls so deeply and sometimes so blindly in love and must have one “last” hurrah with his friends…his boys…his brothers…his brochachos as a single man before embarking on the voyage that is marriage. I have been privy to several bachelor parties during my 40 years on this planet we call Earth. Some have been epic. Some have been disappointing. Some have bestowed upon me the burden of several secrets that would destroy many marriages but I have sworn to take them to the grave. The bachelor party is both the end of something old and the bridge to something new.

A bachelor party can take place in any location. From Vegas to Miami to a casino in Connecticut to a strip club in Rhode Island to a restaurant or club in any city. It can include all sorts of activities and sporting events. Cigars to alcohol and steak dinners galore. But, it is not just about the bachelor himself. Oh no. The bachelor party IS absolutely about the men that accompany the bachelor on this final journey. WE are all in this together. From the poorest man to the richest man in the group. All shall find a way to make it work on this journey whether it is one meal at a restaurant to a trip to another state or debauchery in the cheapest hotel room or a night out in the city. It doesn’t matter if the groom cheated or committed a crime. That is his burden to either carry or offload to his bride one day. Not yours. Your burden is the bill. Or several bills. Your burden is to plan and execute. If you are a part of this group of men then you must deliver the following…fun and lifetime memories. The bachelor party is the last stop for the bachelor as you know him. He will NOT be that same man ever again. This is the last time you see him in the form you have known for so many years. The last time he is unbroken. The last time he is his own man. That is until the next bachelor party you see him at again. Because that’s when he can play by the same rules of not having any rules that he once played by at his own bachelor party for one more time.

Pick up the tab. Whether it is just the two of you or twenty of you. The bachelor doesn’t pay anything. He pays with his soul that night. His soul is marked for life then reborn and shaped into the soul of husband…father…provider. When all else fails in the planning of the bachelor party remember these things. I know. I have lived through many. And in the end if all else fails or the guilt from his bride to be stops all the other plans…just get the man a decent cigar, his favorite cut of steak and the top shelf of his favorite choice of liquor at a bar that makes him feel like a single man for what should be the last time in his life. The bachelor party. Now you know what it really is and what it means.


Until next time. Always take it there.