*Way back in T-pisode 187 I wrote about the word forgiveness followed by T-pisode 205 where I defined my version of the word success. Two of the most difficult T-pisodes I ever forced myself to write but felt I had to share. A lot of people want to know more about my opinions on life and how I see things the way I do and the reasons behind it all. So I’m obliging. For the next 10 Mondays 2/17/14-4/21/14 I am going to write about a particular word and show the world how I define it. Something different but I hope you take something away from it all. Enjoy.
Being an independent person can be both a great quality to have and a lonely feeling to feel at times. When you have to rely on yourself for almost everything at an early age in life it sets a wave in motion that can’t be stopped. Everything you do from that point on is on you and only you. It’s great to trust and believe in yourself but it’s not good to not trust others or only trust a select few. There is a fine line when it comes to being an independent person that you will constantly cross between the worlds of knowing self-worth and knowing solitude. While I am still a very independent person, I am no longer the type of independent person I once was.
I think that what life put on my shoulders and what I placed there on my own has been both a gift and a curse for me. I’ve always considered myself an extroverted person but when I wanted to be left alone you probably couldn’t find a more introverted person than me. A big part of my life for the last 10 years has been writing, and writing is one of the most solitary processes imaginable. But I never had a problem with doing things on my own or relying on myself until I started to realize I was actually TOO independent. I adapted a “You don’t know what you’re talking about” mentality and didn’t want to hear what others had to say. I felt I didn’t need their advice or opinions because I’ve always known what was best for me. My mother never told me what to do. Never put a curfew on me. And never punished me. How could she? I had perfect attendance at school, got straight A’s and had a job since I was 13 years-old so I could help out at home. I relied on myself because others relied on me. Of course I always heard “I got this” in my head. Who else was going to “get this” if I didn’t do it? That’s the way an independent person thinks. The most driven people are usually very independent. They get themselves going in the morning and they keep themselves going until all goals are accomplished. It’s great to have people on your team as a support system but at the end of the day only you will get yourself across the finish line. That’s the independent mentality I have developed within me as an adult and I think it’s what I need to succeed in life.
The problem with being too independent for too long keeps people at a distance. Sometimes some good people. Don’t let being independent turn you into a weird ass hermit or a selfish prick. Use your independence to keep you going and hopefully inspire others. “Hey, he did it on his own because he had to. Maybe I can too.” My friends and family get that I can be a “lone wolf” at times. They’ve seen me at my best and at my worst and they’ve helped pick me back up and got me on track again when I just couldn’t do it on my own. Be independent and be proud of it, just make sure you’re not alone. There is a difference. I’ve been TOO independent for too long. Time to change.
Until next time. Always take it there.