At my age I’m just too damn old to stalk. I really am. If I ever did a sequel to my “I’m Too Old For This Shit” T-pisode, then stalking would be on it. I’m not talking about hiding in bushes and showing up at exes’ places of work here comes a restraining order for sure stalking. Even though a lot of sick dudes out there do that. That’s never been my style. But I have been stalked like that by women before. I’m talking about social media stalking. I don’t do it. Nah…not me. Not T. Not ever. Once I move on from someone, I move on. I’m not stalking your Facebook page or check ins or tweets. Because I end all forms of contact, including social media. After the “never going to try to see them in person again” and “never calling or texting them again” are put into action, then the unfriending, the unfollowing and the occasional blocking are quickly put into effect as well by me. Buuuuut….it’s ok to do The Check In.
What’s The Check In? The Check In is first and foremost not stalking. The Check In occurs after a period of time when you are completely over a person and no longer have any vested feelings in them whatsoever. You made peace with them. In your head. In your heart. In your penis. In your vagina. You have moved on to dating and having feelings for other people. You have moved on in life. After you have accepted all of this and realize that you haven’t seen or thought about this person in some time and find yourself in such a good place you just so happen to think about one of these people from your past. And your head is on straight and your heart no longer beats a single beat for them and you honestly just hope they are doing ok for themselves. Regardless of how good or bad it ended with them, whether on your terms or theirs, time has past and you just want to see if they are doing ok. That’s it! You hope them the best. You really do. But you can’t even think about checking in on them if you have even 1% of hoping to rekindle because that is not good. That is stalking. That is the opposite of The Check In. That means you’re not healthy yet. You’re not over them yet. Maybe you never will be. So don’t do it. So recently, I found myself in a good enough place where I went back and checked in on a ton of women from my past. And the results were mostly good. A lot of them have moved on to new boyfriends. Some are now married. Some have kids. Some are even divorced. A lot have great careers. Some own homes. Some have moved and lived all over the place. Some have travelled the world. And most of them seemed genuinely happy. And as Baby Jesus as my witness, I was happy for all of them. All of them. No hard feelings. Good for them. They were a part of my past and I was a part of theirs. Our paths crossed at one point in this world and we added something to each other’s lives. And we are who we are today because of that. That’s The Check In.
Will I reach out to any of them? Should I? I’m an adult and I would like to say that I could. And that I will. But I probably won’t. We really have nothing to add to each other’s lives now. We did then but not now. If any of them reached out to me, would I respond? Would I accept their “friend” request? Answer their calls or texts? Sure. But only the ones that I made peace with in my heart and head. Holding on to bad feelings, grudges and overall negativity is never a good thing. Try to find that peace. Wish everyone from your past the best. And be thankful for each of them and every single thing you experienced with them. Because it shaped you into the person you are today. The Check In…
Until next time. Always take it there.