T-pisode 267: Text Unmessaging

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I snapped this pic the night the Patriots won the Superbowl and texted it to your mother. *peach emoji *eggplant emoji LOLzzzzzzzzz.
I snapped this pic the night the Patriots won the Superbowl and texted it to your mother. *peach emoji *eggplant emoji LOLzzzzzzzzz.


Text messaging…the most common way we communicate with each other now. That’s the world we live in. It’s like… “I have something to tell you. It may be important. It may not be important. I could be serious. I could be messing around. So here are some words for you to read and you just need to deal with this shit.” Text messaging. Quick text responses. Long in between pauses. Here’s a funny meme. Look at this video. Here’s the screenshot to prove something. I really want to piss you off so I’m just gonna send you a “k” as a response to your long ass story after you just poured your heart out. And for YOU? Shit, I don’t even have time for words for yo’ ass so here is one single fucking emoji!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

We all do it. We all intentionally or unintentionally play texting games. With friends, family, people we’re dating. It’s not only our main form of communication now but it can sometimes be one big game. Hell, sometimes we even keep score right? “Well I texted last so I’m not texting again until they text me back. I don’t give a shit.” WHY? Like it really fucking matters? If you really have something to say, just call. If they didn’t text you back, then text again. If they don’t respond to either, they’re definitely playing a game. So fuck them. It’s stupid. Texting should mirror exactly how you are in person. The people you text should be able to “read” your personality. It’s very easy to take something out of context when you’re reading it instead of hearing it. And God forbid you say the wrong thing one time and that son of a bitch comes back with a screenshot of a conversation from 3 months ago like you’re on trial and that shit will hold up in a court of law! You’re not a lawyer!!! I know damn well what I said. Stupid screenshots. Stupid no middle-finger having emojis too! Because I would absolutely send you a middle-finger emoji right now if I had one. And why do the pause thing? You do not want to seem too anxious? You want to seem like you’re busy?? Playing it aloof eh??? You know I just saw you “like” 6 pics on Instagram, post 2 snaps and tweet how Starbucks misspelled your name again on your damn cup in the time you waited to respond to my text, right? That texting game is one of the dumbest texting games. The Pause. Fuck yo’ pause. LOLz. And yes there are differences between lol, LOL,lololol and HAHAHAHA. Just so you know. But the worst kind of text is the no text. And that weighs the heaviest doesn’t it? When someone you like doesn’t even have the respect to text you back at all? Why does that sting the most? But it does. The No Response Text is killer. Ouch. 😦 (old school sad face right there)

It’s time for us as a society to ease up on all things texting. Holy shit it really is. We spend WAY too much time staring at our phones as is. We’re all fucking addicts. Admit it. I am. Put the phone down. That little blue glow on our faces in the dark has become unhealthy. Go to bed. Call that person tomorrow. Shit, make plans with them for the weekend. Stop stressing about what you’re going to type. No need to create 10,000 stressful made up scenarios as to why they’re not texting you back. Stop searching for that perfect emoji to send. Ease up on the memes. Stop screenshotting a private conversation and sending it to others to get them on your side. Texting should be A form of communication for us in 2015. It should not be the ONLY form of communication for us in 2015. Trust T once again. I won’t let you down. LOLz. Winky face. TTYL.


Until next time. Always take it there.




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