T-pisode 361: The Hot/Cold Switch List

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T-pisode #361
I don’t really have a caption for this pic that goes with this T-pisode. I just took a whole lot of friggin’ flower pics this past spring and I wanted to use them. Sue me.


As I keep this list kick going I wanted to document my “findings” if you will from my years and years of dating women of the things that make them easily go from hot to cold or cold to hot. Now, I’m not saying this is every single woman so relax ladies. I’m saying that I have done a lot of dating and I have come across that fine line in the sand several times that sometimes a woman can cross if a guy intentionally or unintentionally gives them a…nudge. So… What makes women go from hot to cold or cold to hot? Here’s a damn list.


This is an easy one. If she’s hungry but wants you to magically read her mind because you should “know” her like that and you decide where and what you’re eating and you happen to pick the wrong place SHE will NOT say anything up front but WILL go from 0 to 100 real quick in the most passive aggressive way possible after that damn meal. You best believe that, son.

Sex is sex. When you’re young you just bang. You don’t care if she gets off because you’ll get off. But when you’re older and you don’t connect with her mentally and emotionally along with the obvious physical then that sex will never happen again. Hell no. If you just keep it to the physical “hook up” you would both be cool. But if you have to put the work in and connect on all those levels because you both want to be together…then one false move can end the whole fucking thing just like that if she doesn’t feel like talking to you about it. That’s the shittiest “hot/cold” switch known to mankind yo. Trust me it happens.

General dating
Yes…just general dating. If you are dating and she is dating other guys but has you in the middle or in a lesser priority than the other guys she is dating and momentum picks up with one of those said higher priority guys then that “hot” dating you had with her will go “cold” before you can even say “She left me on read, bro.”

Like general dating, some relationships will be “hot” on Monday and then “ice cold” on Tuesday just because the day of the week changed for her and she didn’t feel like telling you the reason. Or you may get a bullshit reason. The key here is to match her “I don’t give a fuck” attitude change as quickly as you can. It will be tough but do it. Don’t look for a reason behind the switch because you’ll never be content with her reason. Our egos won’t let us, fellas. Just stop caring as soon as possible. That will be YOUR switch.

The “commitment talk” has switched more women in the history of mankind. It’s true. If she’s into you, things will stay hot. If she’s not, then everything will go cold. Timing and communication are extremely important here. I can’t stress that enough.

Family & Friends
Tread carefully here. What you say about who and when you say it when it comes to her family and friends will shift your entire relationship if you say the right or wrong thing about them too late or too soon. Get to know ALL the different relationships with ALL her friends and family before you open your damn mouth, buddy.

Doesn’t matter what she looks like in them! If you want things to stay hot and she spent money on those clothes then you tell her she looks fucking amazing in them! No brainer.

God damn texting… This has been the gift and the curse in SO many of my damn relationships. I’m honest…I’m funny…I’m witty….AND I’m a writer. You would think texting would be one of my greatest weapons in the dating war. It usually starts off that way but even someone with my skill set can be taken down when something is taken out of context. If you don’t try to fix that in person or by phone call as quickly as possible then shit will go downhill real quick. But you both should know that you can’t have a relationship that is 75% texting. Which unfortunately, seems to be the case in too many relationships these days.

Social Media
GOD DAMN SOCIAL MEDIA…. I have met SO many women because of T-blawg and it’s related social media. I have. But women build this idea of me and start extremely hot. Then things sometimes have gone cold because they don’t know how to have a relationship with me in reality. Does that make sense? Recently I met a woman on Instagram and we went from liking each others’ pics to DMing to texting to phone calls to Facetiming all in like a span of 2 weeks. Then when we went on an actual date, it was a bust. Because she insisted on putting 3 to 6 months of real substantial dating into two weeks of technological bullshit. We were sabotaged. Social media is great to start, sure. But it can end things quickly. Avoid dating women from social media fellas. I have almost 8 years of experience thanks to T-blawg. Fuck a switch here. Just don’t do it. I need to re-read this one again myself. LOLz.

The Sex Partner Number
I’m older so my number is up there. That’s just how it goes. Most adults know this and don’t speak about it. But when you are younger and dating or if you are older and dating someone younger, than the sex partner number can end things quickly. Some women correlate the sex partner number with experience or inexperience. Some women will use it to think you are a man whore. And some have a max number in their heads on an imaginary “want” list to find the perfect guy. My advice here? If and when you hit 35+ and she wants to know your ballpark number and she is at least 30+ then be honest and give it to her. If either of you are younger than those ages and you want to have that talk then you better not discuss it until you get through the first 6 months of dating. Because this “hot/cold” switch is both a topic AND a switch you cannot avoid.


What do you think of this “hot/cold” switch list? Is it on point? Did I leave some switches out??? What are your switches?



Until next time. Always take it there.